Wife or Mother?????

Question

She had to move in with me, she is in a bad mood everyday. She argues with me, my kid and my wife. She lives for free, I gave her a car to drive, she has it pretty easy. Growing up I lived with my dad because she was a pretty bad mother and I still took her in when I had to. The point to my question is, it is getting to the point where she is causing trouble in my household, I have talked to her about it and she will not stop complaining about everything and just being mean to everyone. My wife will not even be home if I am not there because my mother just nags none stop. The question is should I kick my mother out because all of the problems she is causing, or do I let my wife be unhappy in her own home just to take care of my mother.

Answer 1

Sounds like you already know what you want to do. I would suggest giving her an ultimatum. If she still won't respect your wishes after that, then she isn't worth troubling yourself over.

Answer 2

I wouldn't have took her in in the first place, but you did and she needs to go, she is a control freak , she never stood by you when you was growing up , she sounds a lot like my mother, well since you have already talked to her and it's done no good I'd tell her your making everyone miserable and your doing nothing her but causing problems your gonna have to go, if you just come out and tell her she will either straighten up this time or her @ss would go this time, your mother didn't stand by you and your wife and family has, that is their home not hers, if she won't leave on her own I'd call the police and see what kind of paper work that I had to do to get her out, she obviously don't care for you or she wouldn't be trying to make everyone's life a living Hell,

Answer 3

You & your dad already experienced how to be with your mom. Since you own your family now & instead you're enjoying your family but with mom around, that opportunity to enjoy every moment with your wife & kids around is taken out. Much more it's unfair for your wife & kids to put them in a house where they are always being attacked. You can just let your mom moved out & just do a regular visit on her like weekly or monthly. Who knows she might also like the idea since she seems don't want you guys to be around all the time.

Answer 4

You married your wife for a reason. It's kinda harsh to say kick your mom out, but ultimately that is what you will need to do. (I agree with Lil' texan Gal.) You and your wife cannot dwell together as husband and wife with your mother being there. Your wife should not feel like a prisoner in her own home. I can kinda understand that you love them both, but you as a man know what you need to do.

Answer 5

O.K. mamma's boy. How did you become a mamma's boy in the first place, you grew up with your dad because she was a poor parent??? Anyhow if you keep your mother there your wife will divorce you. You will lose your kids. You will likely loose your house in the divorce as well as that car you "gave" your mother. Not worth it. Get mommy an apartment between 5 and 15 miles from where you live. Than put her in it.

Answer 6

Oh wow!!!! No way would I let my mother in law move in with me!!! Are you sure she's not living with you? Find her an apartment even if you have to pay for it. If she won't move, if I was your wife I'd take it. Get her out now and tell her exactly why she has to go. She will be mad but maybe she will change her attitude. Either way your family wins. And she can complain to herself till her hearts content. Good Luck!!!

Answer 7

If you love and care about your wife , you will take care of your mother !
I would normally say talk to her and communicate,but since you have done that and nothing better has come out of the situation , I would sit and talk with mom again and say look this is what we have done, this is the way it is, and im sorry mum,but your going to have to leave. Offer your assistance in helping her move our and into a place

Answer 8

If she is causing nothing but trouble for you, your wife and your kids, then it's time for her to go. Your family's happiness should be a priority and if she's causing all these problems, then you should tell her she either lives by your rules, or she'll have to find somewhere else to live.

Answer 9

Your mother is abusing the priviledge of living in you and your wife's home. She does not appreciate nor respect your family. She needs to be in her own space. Imagine the holidays with your mom in your home. Does your wife and children deserve what you see? There's your answer.

Answer 10

You know the answer to this "All Knowing." What you need is the guts to do what you should have done a long time ago.

Release yourself from your guilt. You are not responsible to save your mother. The fact is you cannot save her. No matter what you say or do, she will always be herself.

And that is NOT a reflection of you.

So what is her drug of choice? No matter, what you need to do is find a Al anon meeting for adult children of alcoholics. Go there, find a sponsor, and follow his suggestions.

Good luck. I will pray for you.

Answer 11

As yourself this question....is my relationship with my wife more important than my relationship with my mother?

My opinion is you should choose your wife over your mother. Your wife should ALWAYS come first.

Your home should be a safehaven for you and your wife and you should always be glad to come home. If that isn't happening with your mother being there...there is only one choice.