long story short the wife moved out with our children in to his house i have know about the affair for a month and i was letting her know that i knew but she denied it when i noticed about 1 month ago but when she could not hide it no more
me being up set me and her had our anger battle u know saying things u dont mean i told her to leave which she did
but now that she is gone i miss her more than ever and have done everything to let her know that from letters and phone calls but she tells me this guy is all the things iam not and she tells me that iam not romaticly attracted to you buy she says i love u but when he is around she is one way and when i see her she acts another which confusses me she says that she will move back but when he came home from a trip she changed her mind and told me that she did not mean it what is up with that and other times she says just let me fall on my own
cause some times he acts in a way that does not suit her
what should i do to get her home
2007-11-18 15:52:23 · 25 answers · asked by djames6611 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
not to add salt to my wound but the kids arent dumb by no means they know what is going on and they tell there mother please can we go home i dont like it here and i have seen him trying to play dad with my kids and i know being mad is not going to help me that is why ima trying to keep my mind off of this but haveing to come home to a empty house and find my daughters little socks here or a toy there or a picture of the kids it ripes me apart it is the reminders of them that bugs the s**t out of me and yes i have talk to him about this and all he can say is sorry man but he is getting a free peice of *** why would he tell her to go home he does not want her to leave and every time she thinks she will he says something to make her change her mind he is a inflewence on her and i can not be cause iamnot there that is what makes this hard
2007-11-18 16:10:10 · update #1
personally i wouldn't want her back
2007-11-18 15:56:37 · answer #1 · answered by angel 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your "friend" and you need to have a talk.
Do you want your wife back after all this? Are you willing to stay with her, knowing she's been sleeping with this other guy? Can you truly forgive her and look past this and take her back, and share a bed with her after all this? Or are you just afraid of being alone and having to pay child support and not see your kids very much? If she cheats on you, she'll cheat on him.
Seeing as how you two aren't legally divorced yet, she's the one committing adultery, so I'd probably go see a lawyer. If you can get (or even want) custody of the kids, go for it. She wasn't thinking about their best interest, or she wouldn't have taken these young kids away from their father just because this new guy gets her hormones going.
2007-11-18 16:00:03 · answer #2 · answered by hrcarr 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you find someone new to date for awhile, that way if she did come back at least you had the chance to give someone else a try too, that's only fair!! Maybe if she finds out that your seeing someone else, she might want to come back home, not that you really want to use anyone for those reasons!! Don't contact her so much and tell her that you miss her and want her back, she will think you are just sitting around waiting for her to come back, and when might that be?? whenever she feels like it. If she does come back you can be sure she will cheat on you again. Might be time to move on and have your own affair. Meet new people, give someone else a chance, don't wallow away waiting for her. God Bless!!
2007-11-18 17:00:35 · answer #3 · answered by 24Special 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for you. I think cheating is the lowest thing someone can do to another person. I understand that it is hard on you. It isn't like you can just stop loving someone because they cheated on you. I just believe that once someone does this they are always going to do it. It also sounds like she is trying to keep you happy so she is just telling you what you want to hear and then she is also doing what she wants to do and going off with this other man. My thoughts are that she is saying to herself my husband lets me cheat and he still wants me back. I am sure in her mind she thinks that my husband is still with me even though i am cheating on me he wants me back. I guess there is no reason for her to stop. You really sound like a decent man and i know you love her but you deserve to be with someone that loves and respects you enough not to go out and have a affair. I understand that you have kids and all. I guess you need to really think about this.GOOD LUCK
2007-11-18 17:03:14 · answer #4 · answered by kittens 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My God man grow up. This woman is trash. Go to a Lawyer and resolve this issue right this minute. Blue (the cat) says she never loved you or she would not have even been with another man. She is a cheater and will always cheat. If not with this man many others. Your children are your concern. You get them away from her, or they will turn out like her. This is a no brainer. Beg borrow and steal if you have to. Save your children. You have got to rid your self of this woman. There is a life for you and your children without this horrible person.
2007-11-18 16:08:51 · answer #5 · answered by fnbug 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are encouraging her to take the best of both worlds.
You need to hire a detective to document this so you can retain custody of your children.
If you don't, a judge will most likely award custody to your wife, and you will be paying a huge sum of mandatory child support until each child is 18.
You need to think ahead of all of this. For one thing, can you trust your wife not to cheat again?
She has no idea that the guy she is cheating with, will end up cheating on her, too. Of course he will - he's a cheater.
Get your kids!
2007-11-18 16:00:04 · answer #6 · answered by kNOTaLIAwyR 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The woman is confused right now. Just get a lawyer, sort out the legal separation/divorce, and get proper access to your children.
Stop chasing her - give her all the space she needs to clear her mind. Just be there for your kids - that's what matters.
By the way - why do you miss someone who has treated you as appallingly as this? And that "friend" of yours isn't a friend at all.
Good luck.
2007-11-18 20:27:38 · answer #7 · answered by Sun is Shining ❂ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know its hard but don't even bother to go after her she sounds like a right b..ch and its not a place to bring up 4 kids when they will be arguing all the time. shes no good find someone who will love you because she doesn't and shes just waisting your time
it seams like she is trying to keep you sweet just in case it doesn't work out for her and believe me it wont.
its hard when you split up its almost like a bereavement so just remember what goes around comes around
just keep your self intouch with the kids make sure you have a desent home and life so if it comes to it you can have access to your children its them that matter now forget her get on with you life cos it will be a better one without her shes a looser. my last words are mate what mate dont make me laugh
good luck
2007-11-18 18:35:58 · answer #8 · answered by joy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife is so confused that is why she is leading you on. You need to stop giving in to her. She left thats it. You get an attorney and see what you can do about your children. You may love her but you don't deserve what she did to you, no one does. Your children are the ones suffering and you need to explain that to her. I would advise you not to take her back, once a cheater always a cheater. Get on with your life your young and you will find someone that appreciates you more than she did.
2007-11-18 16:14:53 · answer #9 · answered by SiCnGaged 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't envy your position. This will be tough. You are faced with taking her back in and trying to rebuild trust or with facing a legal system designed to protect women from men. If any of your kids are girls, you will be fighting an uphill battle (if that's what your wife wants). I'd move on and prepare for the fight...
Start here: www.themenscenter.com
2007-11-18 16:03:20 · answer #10 · answered by M X 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
my friend, I truly understand your situation, it's very painful and stressful, confusing, but one thing you have too understand is, regardless I much you love someone, no one is worth enough for you to way until to be pick. you're better then that, she wanna be with this jerk, then let her go. keep your head high, yet better thing where come along, you just got believe in faith, plus why would you want your property back when someone else is already trespassing it, if she love you, she wouldn't spread her fawkin legs open in the air to be violated like a cheap hoe, that's something special which belong to you, someone say they love you , wouldn't have give it away like it nothing, she already shown you what she think of you, let her go, there're always someone for everyone, be strong and don't look back. cause if you do, you're going to regretted, trust me, take care my friend
2007-11-18 18:09:22 · answer #11 · answered by paoddow 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋