My husband and I have been hanging out with another couple just about every weekend for a little over a year now. We're all really good friends. In fact, my husband and him have been best friends for about 10 years. We go places together. Our kids play together. All should be great! The problem is that I think my husband is sleeping with his best friends wife. Any time we're together, they always sit beside each other. They play around with each other. They're really touchy, feely with each other. I catch them staring at each other a lot and they act like they're sharing a private joke sometimes. Also, they always seem to find some reason to be alone together. Sometimes she has to ride with him to the store. Or he has to take something to her house "for his friend". It all seems a little suspicious to me. I've never seen anything really inappropriate happen between them. I just have a gut feeling there's more there than should be. How do I find out for sure? Help!
2007-11-18 15:17:54 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
talk to him, tell him how his actions make you feel. you will know by his reactions if he is telling the truth or not.
2007-11-18 15:22:06 · answer #1 · answered by baby daddy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"I've never seen anything really inappropriate happen between them" ARE U KIDDING ME WITH THIS ONE?!!you have answered your own question. sorry you have to go through this.
NOW READ AGAIN!!!!!
Any time we're together, they always sit beside each other. They play around with each other. They're really touchy, feely with each other. I catch them staring at each other a lot and they act like they're sharing a private joke sometimes. Also, they always seem to find some reason to be alone together. Sometimes she has to ride with him to the store. Or he has to take something to her house "for his friend".
2007-11-18 15:58:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether or not something is going on it is obviously causing you to worry. It may be they just are attracted to each-other but haven't done anything or you could be right and they are having an affair.
The rational side of me would suggest talking to your husband. I doubt he'll tell you if he is having an affair but his reaction to your concerns could be a clue. If you do talk to him about it try not to sound accusatory but worried instead. Tell him how you feel and make sure he understands that whether or not your worries are based in fact they are still valid and are affecting your marriage by compromising the trust you should have for each-other.
The more suspicious and cynical side would say that next time he goes over to "drop something off for his friend" you follow him about 10 minutes later and see if he goes where he says he's going and (if there is a way without breaking the law) to see if he does what he says he's doing.
In truth I think I'd find out for myself first if there is more going on than you know and then talk to him and see if saving your marriage is an option. If you find out that there is nothing between them but close friendship you'll still need to talk to him about your insecurities so that they are resolved in someway.
Hope this helped a bit.
2007-11-18 15:36:32 · answer #3 · answered by C T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that's a tough situation. But before you take some drastic measures to some spying. Put a key logger on the computer, you'll be able to get all his passwords and be able to read all his emails. You'll have to get the one you'll have to pay for so it'll start up anonymously when the computer starts up. They're not so expensive. Check his cellphone records if they're any calls to her. Get a free credit report and see if he has any additional credit cards you know nothing about, check his credit card statements! Most people who cheat will leave a paper trail. Try following him for a few days and see what he's doing. But in the end if you find out that he's doing nothing, stop being suspicious otherwise it'll kill you inside. If you find out that he isn't cheating have a talk with him and tell him how it makes you feel when they're being touchy feely! I don't envy you, you're in a tough spot!
2016-05-24 03:32:14 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't accuse him
Catch him.
Don't let him know that you are suspicious .. nor checking him out.
If you pay the cell phone bill .. have the bill itemized for calls .
Start checking his & her out at different times .. when they least expect it - and they think you won't be around. In fact, make them think that you are so oblivious to them.
If you get desperate .. there are survellaince equipment that you can use .. in places .. when you are not around. Getting conversation may reveal a lot.
Put a key-logger on your computer. If you have to - you could probably get someone to see what is on the hard drive.
You know all of your habits the best .. so try to cover all the loose & blank times of the day .. for both of them. Give him time to do things .. and you be able to observe while he does not know it.
Be careful of telling friends .. because one friend may tell another friend .. and it may get back to them.
If they are having an affair - they will sneak around .. and they will do it when they can put you and her spouse in safe places. They may talk on the cell .. on the computer, etc.
Just bide your time .. but make sure that you really want to know if they are having an affair. It hurts.
2007-11-18 15:32:39 · answer #5 · answered by Tara 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with what your inner gut tells you it's is seldom wrong.
See if you propose spending time apart from this couple and see if he puts up a protest. Try to spend time with him
and see if he is not entirely into the idea.
Check credit card bills, and Cell phone bills...
See if you could maybe find out if they are communicating on-line.
If you feel your totally sure, maybe seek Professional help.
Maybe a private investigator. If you've been in this a long time, and you have children and property involved. ask yourself this..
"How much am I willing to loose? Am I financially able to survive this infidelity? That is up to you to decide.
God luck, Girl, and God Bless..
2007-11-18 15:32:59 · answer #6 · answered by "MAIKOO".... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your probably right ....
I would suggest if you have the money hire an investigator ..... or if you dont maybe try following him around or have a friend follow him with you, check emails, that sort of thing .... it might not be trusthworthy, but your husband has put you in the position not to trust .....
2007-11-18 15:29:05 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. Neil 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
next time he tells you he's going over to his friends house once he leaves follow him and see wutz up. or you can take him to the maury show. but if i were you i would stop hanging out with them or next time you see them being all touchy flirty then you should interupt them and you should start making out with him in front of her or you can ask her husband what he thinks about wuts been going on and maybe you two can get together (ina freind way) and follow your husband and that other women. pretty much wut im tryin to say is spy on them.
2007-11-18 15:49:07 · answer #8 · answered by tHAly_bAby* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They probably are. Point blank ask them while they are sitting there next time and make sure her husband is there when you do it. Inform him before you do this but do it quietly only a few minutes before you ask.
The truth may hurt..but at least it isn't your fault or her husband fault..
Good luck.
2007-11-18 15:28:41 · answer #9 · answered by BelieverinGod 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Their staring at each other is inappropriate behavior. Keep an eye on this situation. Meanwhile, don't give him any excuse to find fault with you.
2007-11-18 15:23:08 · answer #10 · answered by kdean 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call the show Cheaters, they can help you out. Who knows, they might catch him in the act. But you may be right, just by your observations.
2007-11-18 15:29:28 · answer #11 · answered by Bryan M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋