why is it that if you have an affair with a married man and you get caught its the female being called whore?

Question

I recently had an affair with a married man who was seperated from his wife at the time of our relationship. I was single at the time.
We were seeing each other for over a year when I found out that he was sleeping with both myself and his wife although they were not living together. I ended the relationship but choice not to tell his wife about the relationship as I felt it was his place to be honest with her.
He chose not to tell her and she just recently found out that I am pregnant with his child. And as a result she calls me everything under the sun and he gets of scotts free. And takes him back into her home.
Why is it the wifes always blames the mistress?

In regards to the pregnancy he asked me to have his child as he claimed he was going to divorce his wife and wanted to start a family with me

Answer 1

If the wife didn't blame you it would make it very
difficult for her to take her husband back. She's probably
feeling very insecure.
If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck.

Answer 2

This is not your fault. We live in a society with ignorant people who always tend to put the fault on the woman when it comes to sexual affairs and leave the man out as if he is faultless in this situation when he has actually done the same thing if not even worse. People judge you more harshly than they do to him. It's as if they expect you to have more control because you're the female but since he's the male they use this as a justification for him to be allowed to act like an a**. Anyway I dont see how this is considered to be an affair if they were separated during that time and the story wasnt clear to you because of the lies he fed to you. This stupid male treated you both unfairly and his wife is just too blind to see the truth. It's funny how people always blame the other person but let their loved one off easy when in reality it is the person they love who chose to do something that they obviously knew would hurt you in so many ways. You and her were both victims of this. If he can do this than obviously he doesnt care about you or his wife as much as he made you believe.
You shouldnt feel any guilt but instead try to recover from it as best you can and think of solutions to your problems.

Answer 3

so sorry that u have to go through what u r going through,im pretty sure that u fell in love with this man,and i know that right now u r probably really hurt and sad due 2 your situation.i think that the wife is completly wrong 4 blaming u,her husband was the one that lied 2 u,and asked u to have his child.he knew that he was married while he was with u,so y ask u 2 have his baby if he was gonna go back 2 his family.he did what he did because he only cared about his feelings and im pretty sure that he cared 4 u,but the thing is he didnt care enough 2 b honest with him self to know that if i get this girl pregnant i would most likely hurt her feelings and ruen her life by impregnating u and leaving u to b a single mother.he is ****** because he knew what he was doing to u,do u think he really cares now.his wife is a fu*ckn desperate ***** she new that he must have had another woman that y she wants him back,she didnt want u 2 have because she doesnt want to b alone and she doesnt have any confidence in herslf,she s also probably one of those who think they will never find any one else 2 marry her there is way more 2 it but that is 4 another tv show.now as 4 him he probably went back because of money and eveything that they acqired together through out the years.believe it or not money is a very big reason y they do not leave because they too r insecure there is so much more to know.e ..m me

Answer 4

I think that women who sleep with "actively" married men are whores...simply because what they are doing would wreck an entire home.
In your case it's different though. You weren't really a "mistress". You had no way of knowing he was going to reconcile with her. He was separated from his wife...therefore you had no reason not to date him. My fiance was separated when we began dating.
The wife probably calls you those things and blames you out of her insecurities in their relationship. Couple that with him having a child with another woman and it could be a major blow to some self esteem! Ignore her as much as you can and raise your child.

Answer 5

I really can't give a straight forward answer. I can only say that most of the wives believe that the man would'nt cheat if the woman wasn't enticing him to. In this case, you are pregnant with his child, and she may think its your fault for not using birth control. I know that its not always the case but that is how some wives think. She probably did get on his case. YOU just don't know about it. Now you are stuck with a baby and he is enjoying life with his wife. For future reference, never mess with a married man, even if he 'claims' to be separated. This is what comes of it.

Answer 6

Some women are just stupid and she seems to be one of them, unfortunately. I believe that in a normal situation where a woman takes another womans man............she should be held accountable because women need to stick together. In your case, you were being lied to and that is very sad. I am sorry that you had to go through that. The woman who is calling you those names is someone who is very hurt and knows that her relationship is not a good one. She doesn't want to lose what she has even though it is crap. But it isn't right what she is doing either.

Answer 7

you KNEW he was married but you didnt care anyway, you slept with another woman's man, so you are worse then a whore, you didnt have any respect for the woman, hopefully Karma will come put you in your place. get your own man and stop stealing other's. never know you might meet the man of your dreams, but OOPS hes having an affair with someone else behind your back


EDIT: if he leaves his wife to just be with someone like you then i hope that happens because clearly the both of you deserve each other, congrats, you won a man that cheats

Answer 8

i've always believe in d sayin, "behind every man's success and failure is a woman." Men are weak so women should always be in control with the situations and firm with their decisions.

Answer 9

Um.because you were with HER husband? Maybe because he spent the FAMILY money on YOU ..to feed you..entertain you.. that heavily implies the word "w h o r e " because whores get paid for sex. Maybe because you perhaps got preggers on purpose to get even more of HER families money? Yes..seems like the word "w h o r e " applies.

Answer 10

Mistress...there is absolutely nothing dignified attached to that word, so you have answered your own question. He doesn't love you---not even after you got pregnant with his child (probably on purpose as an ill attempt to keep him) and he is back with his wife. How's that working for you?