Can anyone help make me feel better? Going through a divorce...?

Question

I am having a really rough time right now. I'm going through a divorce and things just suck. I have 2 kids and they're both crying their heads off. I would LOVE to be out with my sis right now but I don't have anyone to watch them so I'm stuck at home. oh yea, and I'm only 20. I'm scared no one is ever going to want me because I'm so young and already have kids. I have no social skills and am terrified to talk to new people. I have no education [I'm working on getting my GED and then go into law enforcement] and no job. I know I put myself in this shitty position but I learned my lesson and I'm trying to pick myself back up now. I just need a little booster... <3 thanks.

Answer 1

You are young and you have your whole life ahead of you. Things may seem horrible right now, but keep your chin up. Stay strong for your little ones. Take care of your health. One day you will look back on tonight and you won't believe how far you've come. Trust me, life has a way of turning around. Just hang in there and take care of yourself.

Answer 2

Well, even though you may not believe it right now, it does get better. I was married at the young age of 18-- and when I divorced him I had three kids. I divorced him at age 21. So I've been there. It's weird because just the other day I was telling my mom that I had my heart broken before and thought my world was completely flipped upside and devastated. At that point in time, I thought it was. Now looking back, I am glad that it happened. It made me into a much better person. I would go into detail but I am not going to put all my business out there. If you'd like to, you could e-mail me. I will more then gladly be there to help you through such a horrible time in your life. Chin up and remember that before you were with him, you were just you. Love yourself and know that without rain, beautiful things cannot grow. Hope to hear from you soon. Till then, take care!!

Oh... and don't worry about a man not wanting you because you are young with kids, right now you should just be worrying about you and your kids. Soon you'll be able to go out, have fun, and be there for your kids in a way you couldn't while you were married because you were unhappy. Just to say... I am remarried now to a man that accepted my children and loves them. TTYL

Answer 3

Well my Aunt went through this same thing with 3 kids at age 21. I know its hard and so emotional but, there is a reason that it happened and it may not be known to you at this very moment but one day something incredible will happen and you will know that it was the reason! You have two kids you should be at home with them right now this is all fresh for them right now! Maybe your Sis can come over after the kids go to bed and you can paint each others nails and watch movies and vent until you can get a sitter for another time its better than nothing! Get your GED that would be such a good thing for you and you would feel so acomplished! Get a job for sure try a bank they pay decent and you can usually get health benifits after the first 90 days! I hope that you feel better and i just want you to know that it will be ok just give those babies of yours lots of love they need you and you need them right now!

Answer 4

I'm not an expert in the subject but I can only refer to personal experiences. I understand the situation you are facing. It didn't happen to me. But I have a young sibling that is going through a similar situation except that it's been almost two years. She was married to this guy for several years and they have two children. My sis discovered he was cheating on her with another lady.... and it turned out that he had another child with her, too, two years after their first kid was born. At any rate, she confronted him... and he left. And since then, he hasn't called his daughters, not even a measly visit.

My nieces suffered terribly the first few months, that even I cried when I saw them sad. The best thing I could do, just be there for them and I constantly consoled them and I remind them that they are loved greatly even though their dad left them.

Even though it's been almost two years my nieces still miss their dad.

What I can tell you is try to give your kids all the love you can. Hug them, kiss them, do things together.

My sis after the separation (the actual divorce hasn't taken place yet) learned how to drive and is currently going to a community college. It's hard but you have to find ways to fit in everything. Take 2 classes at a time if you don't have someone to take care of your children while you work or are at school.

It's hard but its not impossible. Try to take things slowly but don't despair.

I did go back and read your entry... you do say you don't have anyone to watch your kids. Perhaps you can put them in daycare if you don't have family members nearby to care for them.

Don't worry about the future, you say you worry that no one will want you. It's untrue.

You will meet someone else. Someone who will appreciate you and your children. My sis met a wonderful man, they are friends right now and she is taking it slowly, she doesn't want to hurt her kids.. just remember to think about your children.

Be patient and don't lose heart. Good things happen in due time and find/gain strength... :)

I hope you feel a little better.

Answer 5

Oh, that waiting period. It's the worst. Can't move forward yet and no going back. Seems like you'll explode in your head if something doesn't relieve the tension of the waiting. But this is the time that you need to be by yourself and start putting a vision in your head of how you want things. Sit back and relax in the fact that you don't have to "go anywhere in your life right now" and get yourself emotionally healed.

Focus on the good things (healthy kids, roof over your head, the love of family and friends, the fact that you have the simplest things in your life). If you say out loud "thank you" everytime something goes your way (the right parking spot, the cap came off the .......easy, etc). You'll get yourself picked back up very quickly. Don't focus on the negative, force yourself forward. Force yourself forward, force yourself forward. Thank you for moving forward.

Answer 6

hey i am sorry to hear that, you need to really get out just for awhile i mean you can go out with your kids for a walk just to get some nice breezy air it will do your kids some good. you need to let your children know that everything is going to be alright it will be the same but a little better. you do not need to have that type of thinking that someone is not going to want you you never know what is in store for you but keep your head up and continue on doing what you are doing as in getting your GED and go for the law enforcement i think if you put your heart into it then you would not fall if you get discouraged you should always look at yourself and your children and keep on going and not let anyone stop you so good luck to you

Answer 7

Well its a move in the right direction. I've been there before, and meeting new people can be hard at least finding the right one. However you have a responsibility to you two kids. Just remember you are going through allot, but they are going through allot more. What helped me out was being able to have that responsibility. Yes I have custody just remember it may be your life, but the kids come first. Hopefully after that things will fall into place.

Answer 8

Go on a mission to get wisdom. Find some women and couples that can be role models for you. Try a local church, or get a social worker to help you locate some groups or counseling. You need lots of support and good advice to help you and your children go in the right direction. How wise you become will determine who you attract. Right now, you might only attract someone that would be harmful for you or your children. You need to protect your children at all costs. Go to church and talk to the pastor and ask for help. Ask a social worker for help. There are so many people that can give you good advice and show you the way. Just don't try to figure it out yourself. See older and wiser people that have their lives in order. good luck to you

Answer 9

Turn that frown up side down. (on your avatar.) Just do what you just said.. Pick yourself back up again. Be a better mom. Dont worry about other guys. I dont know why women think after a divorice that they need another dude. When your like that you usually end up picking the one that acts the same way as the guy that your divoricing. And then its the same story. Sooner or later you will find another guy. I know i have many realitives that are like this. Just dont go in too soon like you did the first time.

Answer 10

Start by getting a job, even a couple of part time jobs instead of a full time job, put school off until the kids get adjusted a little more, then fit school into your schedule, get the kids thru x mas, then start on you. Put them in day care(or preschool) or whatever, the state will help with that. they will help you too if you go to them. Forget going out with sis, whats more important? sis or the kids?