14 year old son getting BULLIED?

Question

My son is freshman in highschool, and told me there is a one bully who is always going at him. My son is pretty small for his age, and is prepubescent, and he tells me this bully is in alot of his classes, and is bigger guy who is known for being a muscular obsessed weight trainer. My son says he tells him that he is his *****, and said that the bully will just come up to him and put him in a headlock, push him into a locker, block his walking way.

Also in gym class, my son said everyone played dodgeball, and jayson (bully) keeps getting balls, and insists on trying to hit him in the face as hard as he can, and even said he got a bloody nose.

He said its only him that bullies him, he doesn't get a crowd of other people to laugh or anything, but it seems to me that jayson wants him to fight back, and thinks he is a weakling.

What am I supposed to do?

don't want my son weight lifting. My son tells me that jayson has been weight lifting for over a straight year and a half, and says he has odd veins coming out of his biceps, and couldn't defend himself because of his power.

He also told my jayson beat a grade 12 in wrestling who was 30 lbs heavier then him. I would NOT want my son trying to fight him, since I know my son would get hurt.

Answer 1

whatever you do DO NOT call the school and tell them about the situation, jayson will just get meaner and on top of that all of jaysons friends will not like your son too. i sugguest you tell your so to just ignore it, although it doesnt seem like much.. the bully WILL move on.

Answer 2

The other answers are dead on. Get the administration involved. Next, make sure your son knows he is not a weakling. Those who belittle, harass and intimidate smaller people are not strong. He is young and there are many years ahead for your son to show his "manliness." Manliness means the qualities of a gentleman, much maligned in our politically correct age. A gentleman is courteous to others, gentle to the weak, intelligent and develops his capacities to earn a living, participate meaningfully in society and responsibly create his own family someday. A gentleman may have served in the armed forces and be very capable at hand to hand combat, and yet be compassionate and gentle to a lost child or a suffering animal. Toughness includes mental toughness to endure the uncertainties and sacrifice associated with getting an education, being loyal to family, self and country. Toughness may mean backing down from a fight, even one you can win, because a wise man can see that the victory lies in protecting things besides his personal pride. Perhaps by defusing a situation and not fighting he is protecting others. Your son can change his attitude a little too. In dodgeball, he can face Jayson, let the ball come and catch it, bat it away--anything but cower. Bloody noses stop. As to the headlocks and blocking his way, your son needs assistance. His choice is to learn to escape a headlock which will probably result in a fight he cannot win. Your state's educational code almost certainly prohibits all of the behavior you describe and requires administration to step in. You can ask the principal for a copy of the education code and explain that if change does not occur quickly, you will go to the school board and a lawyer if necessary. School districts are terrified of litigation expense (with good reason) and this threat will probably light a fire under somebody. All of this is hard to see from the perspective of a 14 year old Freshman. If you show him this answer, at 18 I was 5'6" 125 lbs. I served my country and completed a rigorous graduate education and am a partner in a successful business. I was bullied by a classmate who as a Freshman in high school was 6'0" 200 lbs. I was humiliated and frustrated throughout high school and knew I could not physically beat him. Girls he dated told me I was "sweet" but would not go out with me. He is a Methamphetamine addict. His physical prowess dissipated by time and abuse. He looks 10 years older than I. He has been married a couple of times and his kids have no respect for him. In 1976 he looked tough and powerful. No more. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

You NEED to contact the school. I just graduated h.s. and was on a commitee called "peer mediators". I don't know if your school has it but it should have something similar(I moved around a few times and each school I attended had something quite similar). The purpose of the group is too sort out peer issues among other peers in a mature fashion. The thing I like about it is you get your peers perspectives and it's not like a bunch of adults are nagging at you. Infact, it actually became one of the "cooler" groups among the kids at my last school. I'd highly reccomend you arrange for him to atleast give it a try. If it does not work, higher authority(principal, school superintendent) needs to step in. No question.

I'd also reccomend your son join a sport or club. I was once in your sons position, joined tennis team, swim, and peer mediators and improved my self-esteem tremendously, and not only that, but made a lot of friends!

Good Luck too your son and reassure him things will get better-some kids this age are still immature and lack empathy, but to keep his chin up!

Answer 4

I would call the principal. It is their responsibility to keep your child safe when he is in their care. The gym teacher should not be letting this go on in his class. This is a hostile environment for him and that is not what your tax dollars pay for. The principal should call and talk to Jayson's parents and tell them that his behavior will not be tolerated. If this does not take care of it call the school board.

Answer 5

I live in that world too. But I only watch it. At 6'2" no one ever messes with me. Even though i'm not violent at all people still don't bully me. I think you should haven a talk with the guidence counselor and get the bully in the room with you and your son. You guys need to talk it out and figure out a solution. If it still doesn't work just go ahead and contact the bullies parents. Just make sure he doesen't fight.

Answer 6

Call the school, but ask them not to talk to Jayson. Just ask them to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn`t bother your son. I am sure it will work. I am a freshman in highschool, and if he is like me he hates it. But I ain`t gettin bullied.

Answer 7

Have you ever though of calling the police and filing an assault and battery report. Then give a copy to the school office and put them on notice that you will prosecute if they continue to allow your son to the beaten up.

Answer 8

Bring it up to school officials. That is not right. It is consider assault. They shouldn't be allowing it to happen. Also I would get your son into counseling so that he can get self esteem help. Watch him closely for signs of depression. Also see if he would like to take self defense classes or some type of martial arts to help with his self defense. He has every right to defend himself as long as he understands not to start the fights. He sounds like a verry nice young man.

Answer 9

Your son needs to man up im 14 myself and I am pretty short too. But that doesnt mean me or him is weak. Tell him walk with confidence if the bully touches him frikking slug him in the face cuz if i were in your son shoes i would beat the crap out of him. also if your son doesnt seem confident with himself have lift some weights and do sports :D

Answer 10

Tell your son to file an incident report at the school.