What would you do in this situation?

Question

When my husband and I met, I was very thin. Too thin, really. As I straightened out my life (kicked drugs and alcohol, developed better eating habits) I gained weight and got to a normal size. Then I had my second child and he's 10 months now...I still have a good bit of my baby weight.

I look at pictures from now, and pictures from before we were married and think I look much better thinner. HOWEVER, my husband insists that he loves me best this way and that he doesn't think I should lose any weight.

I'm not obese or unhealthy at all, but when looking back at old pictures, I get kind of sad and wish I was back in the size 4's again....I even still have my old clothes saved in storage! But then when my husband tells me he loves the way I look now, I question that. It's hard because I felt I looked better then, but it's also a huge ego booster for my husband to tell me he thinks I'm sexiest the way I am.

What would you do in this situation?

Thanks guys! Wow! So many great answers, and you all make me that much grateful for my wonderful husband.!

Answer 1

I would listen to my husband*
If he says you are sexy you are*

Answer 2

the most important thing is your husband loves you as you are now. Men tend to like bodies with a little "flesh" on them, I never believed men really think supermodels like Kate Moss are sexy. They prefer bodies like Bejonce or Tyra Banks I assure you.
You should give yourself time, eat healthy, work out a little bit more, drink plenty of water and feel how beautiful you are now that you are a mother.
The past is the past, and you must accept yourself as you are now. There is no way you can get back to the old self without jeopardizing your health.
I had such a small waist, when I was single. After 3 kids, that is at least 3 inches wider and I, just as you, am still in good shape, a size 5-6. But i know the old body is gone forever, and I don't care. My husband loves me and even after 21 years of marriage he is crazy about me.... so I don't care I am no size 1 anymore.......relax and enjoy life and your more feminine beauty

good luck and congrats

Answer 3

First of all Congrats to u for kicking old habits out the door! ;) I personally don't think anyone that is a size 4 looks healthy, even if they have always been "drug free". Secondly, Thank God that u have a husband who understand what a woman's body goes through during and after pregnancy. When I look back at my pictures(b4 preg.) I feel the same way u do. But the way I look at is this... My body brought my kids into this world and THEY are what I'm most thankful for. So be happy with who u are...and don't worry about weight, unless it's a health problem!!! ;)

Answer 4

Your husband is probably telling you the truth. I'm a good twenty lbs heavier than I was before I got married and had my daughter, and my husband thinks I look beautiful now. I was very tiny back then, and I miss being that tiny but my husband swears I look good now, so I know what you are going through. I am trying to lose a few lbs though, I think a happy medium is best. So maybe instead of aiming to 4's, go to 6's? Somewhere in the middle.

Answer 5

I would listen to my (apparently lovely) husband and stay the way I was! Obviously you will still be carrying some baby weight, as your son is still very young, and may lose some more weight naturally as time goes on. However, it's your decision, and if you feel better with a little more weight off, then you may decide to lose some more. I guess you have to weigh up the pros and cons of how you will feel if you lose weight, and how your husband's attitude may affect you.

Of course, I'm biased, as I love eating junk food. Curves are better!

Answer 6

Dear Nikki,

Trust and believe in your husband...and thank god you found a man like him. If your happy with him then he must be showing you in a lot of different ways that he does love you.

I've been there and I can tell you that thin and unhealthy is nowhere near as good as a little larger and healthy. Besides, I would much rather have a little softness to cuddle up next to then a bag of bones poking me everytime they moved.

Answer 7

Ideally, the right answer is to be however you feel best and everyone else will adjust. But it's likely your husband has the healthier view of you...(his impression of a skinnier you is a drug addicted one, so his preference is understandable) and this just happens to be the week when yet another young woman died from anorexia, so a backlash against being overly thin is to be expected. Choose wisely.

Answer 8

Cherish your husband! If he loves you the way that you look then be glad that he loves you like he does. But, still take care of yourself. Don't be obsessed with getting back down to a size 4. Just take care of yourself emotionally and physically, eat right, get regular exercise and make your goal to be fit, not skinny. Does that make sense? Just be the best you that you can be, and be delighted that you have a wonderful husband.

Answer 9

I'm in the same situation. I'm 5'10 and when I met my husband, I was 102 lbs. Not healthy at all. Now, I'm 140 which is right where I should be.

But I feel fat.

The thing is knowing that your husband loves you and you're healthy. It's more important to stay healthy for your children than look good, isn't it?

Answer 10

remember when you was on drugs and not eating right you was really skinny, now you look healthy and your husband loves the way you look. why would you want to go back looking so skinny. if you look and feel great why go back looking like a stick? sweety, stay the way you are ! your husband is loving the way you look now.

Answer 11

learn to love yourself for you. i was a size 4 for many years and then quit smoking and now i am an 8. there are times i look in the mirror and want to cry but you know thats life. we need to learn to love ourselves for who we are inside and not the outside. your husband loves you for you. he married you too skinny and is still with you with extra weight. hold on to that.