Dilemma???????

Question

I've been married 26yrs and last night went to a Charity do, where i've met a nice man older than me but his age didn't bother me. I think he was 20yrs older. My marriage has been turbulent but because i've taken vows, i don't know what to do. He had a great sense of humour, which he is on my level and he cuddled me, which i did back. Never done anything else but he shows love to which i never known before. He's not married but how do i cope when my marriage is sh*t. I've always been faithful but what do i do when someone shows me affection. Please help?

I'm 44yrs old.

This will spoil your happiness. I've been in Womens Aid 4 times.

Chris, you are making me shred tears because what you say is true. Thanks mate!

Chris, i'm a woman but looking for a way out..Chris, appreciate your answer, i hope you find love with the man you get. I'm not rascist but i hope you find a man you love. Thanks Sweetheart.

Answer 1

I cannot advise you because it is so personal in nature, but I have met men who make me feel really good inside. I do not see why you cannot be friends with this person. If you're both on the same wavelength, you should be able, at your ages, to handle it okay. If there is really an issue with your wife, you might want to speak to him about that, too. The problem always comes when people keep things inside and they build up and make problems later. See what he says when you mention it to him. Keep it low key, so you get an idea of his viewpoint, and if he is understanding and speaks well to you, then tell him what is really going on with you. You have nothing to lose by representing yourself honestly.

Answer 2

You made those vows, and it is your duty to keep them no matter who comes around and appears to be "better" than who you are with right now. How do you think your spouse would feel if you left them for another man after you made a PROMISE. Furthermore, if the first guy "isn't working out" for you, then what makes you think you and this other guy will do any better? All marriages have their rough patches, but the best thing to help that is more time together and communication. Tell your spouse you want more affection and then show him some and just love each other. Focus on the positive elements of your relationship rather than how bad it may seem at the moment. See and treat your spouse as your best friend rather than as someone you have to live with because of something you did twenty six years ago.

Really do hope the best for you, and your spouse.

Answer 3

Oh thats hard, 26 yrs is a really long time. But I think you know in your heart when its over, I did anyway. My ex and I had been together for 11yrs and I knew it was over 1yr before I actually left.
So you need to ask yourself, is my marriage dead? Or am I so starved of affection that I cant see clearly. You need to ask your hubby how he feels in your marriage. If it really is over, then go for it, Life is too short to stay if it is never going to be any better. If you have found someone special then just end your marriage first, (not that you sound like a lady who would do the dirty). When I told my ex I was leaving he said he knew it had been coming for a long time, it made it easier, there was no row. We were sad but glad it was over. t he one thing I have learnt is that I would be really, truly living my life on my own than to live my life with someone and feel lonelier than ever.
Look after yourself and good luck x

Answer 4

Its hard I know. When someone new comes into the equation and gives you the attention that you have been wanting, NEEDING, you dont know what to do. It stinks to be unhappy in a marriage and b/c of the vows you dont want to leave, but sometimes it might be the right thing to do. I wish you the best and want you to know that you arent the only one in the world to feel like this! Good luck!

Answer 5

well if you have fallen out of love, then there's no point in continuing the marriage, once the love has gone, it's unrepairable, talk to your husband and tell him how you feel, it's usually after a kick up the backside that makes them more affectionate towards you, he's taking you for granted s that's why he thinks he does not have to cuddle you or pamper you, so tell him that you have set your sighs on someone else and if he is not prepared to work on the marriage, then your going to leave him for good....good luck....

Answer 6

I think you know the answer to this because you have remained faithful even though the marriage has been turbulent.

If you have decided that you can not be with your husband anymore then you need to let go BEFORE getting involved with someone else.

Answer 7

Dear Sexy Man,
Assuming that you are a man as your username implies I understand that you are interested in having a same sex relationship with another man outside of marriage who is 20 years older. I'd keep away from the Charity do's because you don't know where these people have been and what other 'charities " they have been giving to.

Answer 8

you may be married but your not dead. get a hug once in a while. nothing wrong with love. but if you have sex its cheating. IF your man doesnt love you then why be with him. thats not cool. Follow your heart, life is short.

Answer 9

for one thing you only met this guy once so you don't even know him. you should work on your marriage, especially if that older guy looks like your avatar.

Answer 10

I think you've just met your second husband. Divorce is a wonderful thing.