this weekend my husband traveled up to New Jersey to go to a UFC fight, about a 5 hour trip away, after the fight he was going to an after party in NYC. i was not comfortable with this... i am 5 months pregnant and feeling very insecure right now. i wanted to go with him but we couldnt afford it. tonight when he got home i was looking at his text messages to reply to a friend, when i stumbled across a text from his friend who wrote "how was the after party was jenna there? did you get laid?" (jenna jamison was supposed to be there, another reason i felt uncomfortable about it) husband didnt respond to his text, or either did and ereased his reply. while he was out having a good time i was in the ER for 6 hours with kidney stones! do i have a right to be mad at husband for this text message? i feel like his friend is a jack ***, and DH associates with him. why would his married friend as my husband who is married if he got laid!!!? is this way wrong or is it me being insecure?
2007-11-18 12:19:02 · 16 answers · asked by Lindsey P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The best, easiest and most comfortable way to solve this problem? Talk to your husband. Be straight forward, be honest about how you feel. If he can't answer you, and if he gets upset that you even ask, then there might be a problem. People tend to be defensive when they're guilty.
Tell him your concerns and he'll likely just laugh and try to make you feel better! You'll be okay, just talk to him...that's the best way to solve these kind of things.
2007-11-18 12:25:31 · answer #1 · answered by Azure AM 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You think his friend is a jackass & his friend probably thinks you are controlling & manipulative to HIS friend (your husband). I would say the friend was teasing your husband about the after party probably knowing full well you might read the text later.
So your hubby got the text & thought so little of it he didn't delete it - if he replied he deleted his reply - why would he do that & not delete the message from his mate? It makes no sense - I don't think you have an issue here.
I do however understand where you are coming from - only because I'm four months pregnant & being insecure is part of the deal when you feel & look like a whale!! Try not to over-react with hubby though, unless you have any other indication that he may have actually done anything to jeopardise your relationship let it go, he didn't cheat.
Good luck & best wishes with your baby =o)
2007-11-18 20:33:11 · answer #2 · answered by Jen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it was just guys being guys....
sure you can be angry....all events combined would leave anyone a little irritated....but if you separate and isolate each event...i think you would have been a little less angry. but geez...you're in ER while he's out having a good time, then you find a message suggesting that he could have slept with some other woman as if that would have been sooo cool....Well!!!! someone else might have clocked him right then and there, but some of us can reason before we act.
let's just say you lived through a chain of events that would throw a normal person at least a little off balance. the text message was the straw that broke the camel's back.
soooooo.....if the friend is one of those typical jack-*** kind of guys that would pat a guy on the back for cheating on his wife, that is his problem. not yours. not your husband's. so getting angry with your husband for things beyond his control is futile.
he did nothing intentionally wrong.
as for his associating with this guy....well...we usually know the faults of our friends, but we love them anyway.
i don't think you're being insecure at all. you were just thrown out of bounds and until you clear things with your husband you won't feel ok about it.
2007-11-18 20:52:15 · answer #3 · answered by tiffany l 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why you are upset,that is part of being pregnant. Did he know you were at the ER? I really think it was men being men,when it comes to the text message. Do you really think she would sleep with him? I highly doubt it.The best thing to do is talk to your husband. BUT I would leave out the text part since you were looking for trouble when you found it! Best of luck to you and Congratulations on the baby.
2007-11-18 20:39:10 · answer #4 · answered by Karen S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be mad.
Your husband had no right being at a place that would make you upset, its called respecting your spouse and he obviously doesn't respect you or your feelings.
As for the crappy friend, he is obviously not a very happily married man if he has to stick his nose in business that doesn't concern him though if he didn't would you have ever found out about the party and who was there?
Talk to your husband and find out the truth and you'll know if you look at him while hes telling his version.
2007-11-18 20:33:42 · answer #5 · answered by CrazyH 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
NO you don't. That would be like your husband being mad at your because of something one of your friend's said to you. You would feel like he was being an *** for holding someone else's comment against you so don't do it to him. He can't control what his friend says. You are just being insecure and letting your pregnancy emotions get the best of you.
Seems you are just trying to find a reason to be upset with him. Stop! Are you trying to push him away? If not then get over it and be the loving wife you promised to be.
2007-11-18 20:31:38 · answer #6 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have every right to be concerned. You don't have to go and yell at your husband though, because his Friend might just be an Jack ***. You should try talking to your husband about it. If there was really nothing going on he will tell you. Good Luck
2007-11-18 20:33:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did your husband do wrong? Can he be blamed if his friend teased him in a suspicious way?
I think this was "guy humor." Ask him about it, but do not assume the worst. That will compound the problem for you. To be distrusted because somebody else was a goof is very discouraging.
2007-11-18 22:21:30 · answer #8 · answered by Bob T 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was a joke because she's a porn star. Jenna Jamison was getting paid to make an appearance...not f&ck strangers. She makes these appearances to promote herself. Grow up, its just business.
2007-11-18 20:47:34 · answer #9 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why were you going through his texts to begin with? dont snoop around that's bad. if jenna jameson was there its not a big deal, ok she is a pornstar but doesn't mean she will just go sleep with a guy. it has to be porn, besides i think she is actually married and out of the business (shame). id say this is your insecurity acting up and i think his friend was just joking.
2007-11-18 20:26:19 · answer #10 · answered by djmixah7 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋