If safe sex were freely available to men on demand, how would it affect gender relationships?

Question

Lets just assume for a moment, that at any time, and without any repercussions from STDs or cost, men could obtain sex on demand with attractive women, but only sex.

If you like, think of it as fully immersive virtual reality, indistinguishable from the real sexual act with no human involvement. The concept matters more than how it can be achieved.

In all other respects the world be unaltered.

How do you think such a development would affect relationships?

Would women unable to trade on sex for financial security lose out?

Would women actually be delighted that any relationship formed with a man was happening because he liked her for her, not just because he wanted her to have sex?

Would things be much the same as they are now, because people are deeply motivated to form intimate relationships anyway?

How do you think gender relationships would be affected?

Answer 1

Speaking from the male perspective of 5+decades, you would see men putting off marriage until later in life.

Men in their teens to early 30's pretty much have a one track mind. It isn't until other brain functions finally kick in do the majority of males understand what a relationship really is about; compromise, friendship, eternity. Virtual sex would be traded for genuine intimacy

I'm not sure how the woman would fit into this. When a mature male finally seeks a life partner, he doesn't want a mate that's 25 years his junior; he wants an equally mature woman.

As for procreation, that's going to be strange - either older woman popping out babies, or somekind of "Logan's Run" baby factory. I'll let the ladies answer for themselves.

Answer 2

I don't think it would change everything. It's an interesting question though, it deserve some serious meditation, so I took my time.

You intend there's quite a new professional figure, glamorous, stunning sexy women able to pleasure men, maybe with some tech gizmo involved, without any risk and string attached. In fact prostitution always existed, and some men, richer than others, are able to "gift" themselves with an expensive escort to show off and bed later in the night. Such men usually have wives, and childrens waiting home.

It would be more a quantity change, than a quality one. I think youngsters and young men would "use" that new possibility to gain a firsthand experience, every time they want, but soon they will drop it, and start looking for a mate, for a girlfriend and a wife.

Society is centered on monogamy... so there still will be pressure over family. And, if not family, I remember you that we, as men, are quite a competitive and "possessive" kind. We need to belong, and if at now losing virginity is a great "rite of passage", in the world you're describing getting a true girlfriend will be a rite even more important, because everyone would be able to bed one girl, but he will not have a partner, a significant one to live life with... it's not the same going to the cinema with someone that loves you, or paying someone to giggle at your jokes, make some puppy eyes and sexing you at home.

Women would still have their lives, too, so, nothing much would be lost on security.

Yes, they would be delighted, I think. But even then, I think they'll still think in the first stages of their relationships if the man who's holding her hand truly loves her, or the story will eventually fade. Then, they will be as happy a contemporary woman is happy of living in a good relationship. And I think that "Beloved, you know, you don't have to have sex with others, if you truly love me, I'm the only one you'll need" would become a common phrase.

So, I think things would be much the same as they are now. Men have a great sense of belonging and having. Belong to a family, creating one.

Answer 3

I am a child of the 60's sex was just that back then sex. The only diseases you had to worry about were curable. There was no such terms as STD's or AIDS. Back during the sexual revolution, there was sex without relationships, free sex, free love, etc. where did it all go? Right down the sewer. People saw that sex without love is nothing but an exercise. If all you want is exercise go to a gym. The sexual revolution had begun to die out long before STD's or AIDS. Now I have been married for 37 years and would fear going out on a date unless she had been dipped in alcohol and I was wearing a rubber suit.

Answer 4

See ~ men get ALL the good stuff!

Hehehe ;-P

Actually, I doubt things would change much. IMO, your third option, that people are motivated to form intimate relationships anyway, is the most likely.

After all, in the western world at least, sexual pleasure is very easily available to most men with a few dollars in their pockets, although the matter of 'attractive' (to the individual) might add costs.

And of course the fact is, women also like and enjoy sex, and look for sexual satisfaction when choosing a mate, male or female.

Cheers :-)

Answer 5

This is a really interesting question.. I deffinatly believe that it would be a comfort to women that a man likes them for who they are and not just sex.. However, it's also weird that you know they've had sex a million times before and could whenever they so pleased. A lot of men would choose to never be in a relationship though, because some men really only want pleasure and fun, and would be stoked to have it without being tied down. A lot of little things would be different, which would create a big change.

Answer 6

Plenty of men are undeterred by the risk of stds, because they are promiscuous and even visit prostitutes. For many money isn't an issue. Yet those men still seek out the domestic security of a wife and children even though they could go on forever paying for sex. So it doesn't make sense to me to say that relationships are only desired by women. Even if men could obtain sex through virtual reality, they obviously want and need an emotional connection with a woman.

Answer 7

I think it is a faulty (but tempting) thing to assume that men would be forever happy only indulging in pleasures of the flesh- without meaningful relationships except amongst themselves (friendships). I also think it is faulty to assume that the majority of women that engage in sex do so as a trade for financial security.

I don't want to think or believe that human beings would or could ever be so shallow...I know there are exceptions to everything, but the majority of us want more out of life than quick self-gratification.

In the situation you described, sex would quickly lose it's mystery, it's appeal...it would be boring. I think men would be happy at first, but it wouldn't last long.

Of course this is only an opinion.. but I think we are spiritual creatures (I'm NOT talking about religion or morals here...) and the absence of this spiritual quality -(want for unity, peace, well-being, love) - it would likely be distressing to quite a few of us. It seems to me that what divides us further brings with it many things that make it difficult to co-exist: such as hate, jealousy, anger, prejudice, discrimination... that's not my idea of a "happier" existence.

Accomodations are already made in this world for those who seek such a shallow existence. It is much harder work to find and keep something much more delicate and meaningful. And most of us strive for a type of meaningful existence despite the fact that if we wanted something less we could easily have it. What does this say, then, about how humans define happiness and well-being? And what does it say about how much importance we place on such things? I think it says that we want more than quick self-gratification, and that we understand it takes work to have things that are of value to us, and that we prefer not the path of least resistance, but the struggle that leads us to something much more fulfilling.

Answer 8

Your questions appear to be conflicting. Are you asking if only sex on demand with attractive females were available, would this change present european relationships? The answer to this is no because the present eruopean relationships are mostly males consorting with other males cosmetically made over to resemble attractive females. Many european brothels emply only these transexxual females, so it would change nothing. European marriages appear to be staged, not just pre-arranged with transsexual females and males everywhere. Now if you are asking if the rest of the world will follow this european example, the answer is NO. The purpose of real man/women relationships is not only to produce children but to join together as one, since the woman was made from the man to be a help mete. (Gen 2.18-25) The idea of only sex, as with animals, would never be accepted outside of european culture. Non-european women don't trade "sex for financial security" as this is not the purpose of marriage ... and the purpose of getting involved into any relationship with a man is for marriage.

Answer 9

Aren't there escort services already, provided by companies that make sure the escort is STD-free? What's the difference with what you are saying?
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About the virtual reality viewpoint, Sylvester Stallone and Sandra Bullock tried it in Demolition Man and it kinda sucked because the lack of proper "training" (and his definitive reluctance to adapt to certain things in that world), so no. I think the classic mode would still be better.

Answer 10

Definitely!

A lot of us men wouldn't even think of entering a relationship anymore. Let's face it, a lot of relationships are based on sex. Some lead to marriage,a lot doesn't. The length and quality of the relationship though is another matter.