this guy I know was married to a woman for 14 years. They have been divorced for 30 some years. He keeps playing pity party about how bad first wife was even in front of second wife. I think he still loves wife number one and is not being fair to wife number 2. What should I tell him? I know wife number 1 and do not like to hear her talked about>
2007-11-18 10:52:03 · 11 answers · asked by Bob S 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell him it's an old song and get over it, get on with it. And to treat wife #2 like she is THE wife, because she is who he has. If he treats wife #2 as the lesser wife he does not dserve her. And if he bad mouths wife #1 then he is not a good person. He needs to get over her and move on. He needs to be fair to wife #2, and she doesn't like to hear him talk about #1. After all it's been 30 yrs!
Happy Thanksgiving Bob S.
2007-11-18 14:24:35 · answer #1 · answered by Linda S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were wife #2, I would not put up with that. He needs to understand that his first marriage was over and done with 30 years ago and it is not fair to his second wife to talk about her and his past a lot like that. She will eventually get fed up with it and not feel loved enough and leave. If he doesn't want a second divorce then I suggest he shuts his mouth about the first wife.
2015-09-18 04:25:18 · answer #2 · answered by misty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to him gently about it. He needs to forgive and move on before he loses wife number 2. He probably does have unresolved issues from the first marriage. It takes a closure process and the more he keeps bringing it up (and reliving it) the less closure is occuring. Plus his new wife must be sick of hearing about it.
2007-11-18 10:58:21 · answer #3 · answered by James D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is your good friend just talk to him, ask him if he is still in love with wife #1... if he is not, then say nothing... just walk out the room when they start talking about wife #1.
2007-11-18 10:58:01 · answer #4 · answered by shay231214 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ooh he is playing the victim ,he loves sympathy attention.and he is scared, scared to open up to deal with his feelings and to truly express himself. he will be an emotional drain to the wife, will cause pain and heartache .tell him straight up how you feel and how what he does n says affects everyone!with a person like that be straight to the point he wont like it..probably will hate you or better yet he will throw a party..a pity party!!!
2007-11-18 11:06:43 · answer #5 · answered by bravo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is it your place to say anything at all. Are you just wanting him to quit bothering you? If that's it, tell him frankly but politely that you don't want to hear him complain.
As for you many theories about the personal matters in his life, don't you have your own life to worry about?
Good luck.
2007-11-18 11:00:56 · answer #6 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him that she is a friend of yours and would appreciate if he would not talk about her.That they were together many years ago and he should not dwell on her in a negative way,People do change and he needs to do the same.
2007-11-18 10:59:21 · answer #7 · answered by mamaw2305 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell wife number 2 to put her foot down and get some selfesteam
2007-11-18 11:08:27 · answer #8 · answered by allison b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just sit him down and tell him how you feel. He should understand. You might get some interesting things out of him and see why he does what he does. At least tell him not to talk about her in ur presence
2007-11-18 11:08:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the guy in question is something like 65 years old, he's old enough to know what he doing
2007-11-18 11:11:18 · answer #10 · answered by Dr Phil 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋