What's so important about this?

Question

Okay whenever someone is talking to me, I usually look away and not make eye contact with the person. I do listen, but I just don't look at people when they talk to me. That's just the way I am. Okay but why do a lot of people always say that whenever you talk to someone, it's important to make eye contact? I mean what's the deal with that? Is it disrespectful not to make eye contact?

Answer 1

You just have a "male" pattern of communication, and there's nothing wrong with that... men and women are traditionally brought up to carry on conversations in different ways. Before you keep reading... there are lots of women who have male communication styles, and many men who have female communication styles, so don't think your gender automatically classifies you as one or the other. But to continue... "male" patterns of conversation are lack of eye contact but still listening, listening to key points instead of every word, lack of emotion or emphasis on words, and a sense of comparison or "one-upping" the other person. "female" patterns of conversation are strong eye contact, listening to every word, displaying emotion, using hand gestures, and being empathetic. Think back to when you were a kid... boy games were usually playing cars or cops and robbers or those types of games, which involved little face-to-face time with your buddies and encouraged you proving to be better, although passively, than your friends. While girl games are usually playing dolls or playing house and the like, which stimulate lots of face-to-face time with friends, and encourages emotion and empathy. Not all of us are black-and-white male or female communicators...in fact, few of us are. But some of us do tend to display characteristics belonging more to one style than the other. So just understand be comfortable with the fact that it's just your communication style... and maybe for professional things like interviews and meetings, be a little more conscious to keep eye contact as much as you can. Best of luck!!!

Answer 2

When you make eye contact it gives the person the impression that you are listening and engaged in the conversation. When you do not make eye contact it seems you are uninterested or evading them for some reason.

My boss has been unable to look me in the eye lately and I knew something was up and he is taking a good in another department and hasn't asked if I want to go with him and now I am all depressed and might take a job somewhere else.

Answer 3

I am one of those people who want eye contact. I am a person who usually makes a first impression of others. If a person will not/does not make eye contact, then I doubt their truthfulness and sincerity. Perhaps this is wrong, but I have always been that way and know other people who are.

Answer 4

In American (and other culture) it is considered disrespectful not to look in someone's eyes when they are talking to you. I know, I always look away and do something else even though I can still hear them and get what the other person is saying. You (and I) have to remember that it shows you care about what that person is saying when you look them in the eyes.

Answer 5

Yes, it's disrespectful to look away when someone is talking to you... It seems like you are paying attention to someone or something else instead of the one talking... Try to just look at their forehead for a few seconds, look away briefly, then look back... They can't tell if you're looking in their eyes or their forehead.... May be more comfortable for you... Or do what actors do and constantly switch your gaze from eyeball to eyeball... That way it doesn't look like you are staring.

Answer 6

Lack of eye contact can be very disrespectful; it also shows the person that you are not fully invested in what they are attempting to convey to you.

You may be listening, but it is always best to show them that.

Answer 7

It's so that people can see that you are interested in what they have to say. My son has Aspergers and rarely gives eye contact which ticks a lot of ppl off but to me it really doesn't matter.

Answer 8

I believe it is polite to make eye contact initially, but that does'nt mean you have to maintain it constantly. People who cannot look you in the eye are reputedly 'shifty',or not to be trusted.

Answer 9

ITS DISRESPECTFUL IN THE WAY TAT IF YOU DO'T MAKE EYE CONTACT IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION
♥

Answer 10

it makes you not trustworthy. If you cannot look me in the eyes, it makes me wonder what you are up to