I have been married for 10 years, have 4 children. I have to leave my husband like now But how? He has physically abused me but is so deeply insecure and jealous. He accuses me of cheating and meeting people but yet he can do what he wants. He did cocaine and I found about it and he has congestive heart failure. What an idiot. I have to get out..I cannot stand being around him.
2007-11-18 10:25:55 · 28 answers · asked by jennifer m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So sorry you are in this situation. You do need to get out.
Check out this website, but I would advise you to not view it from your home computer if you think your husband could find out about it:
http://www.totaldivorce.com
There is a lot of advice and information on the site and it can help you figure out what you need to do for your situation. You probably also want to find an attorney and the site has an attorney-finding feature.
Good luck to you, and please take care. Be cautious if you think your husband is dangerous.
2007-11-18 10:31:12 · answer #1 · answered by Lively 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need an exit plan. If the kids are older enough to understand the situation let them know what is going on and that you all need to leave. Talk to a close friend or family member that may be able to give you a place to stay for awhile. Once you have the plan in place get the kids and get out that door fast. Dont look back
2007-11-18 10:43:55 · answer #2 · answered by Kirilee T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a website that can give you some help, but beware, your husband may be able to track the websites that you visit. Go to a friends house or while you are at work on a break.
http://www.ncadv.org/protectyourself/GettingHelp_128.html
If he is hurting you now, or you feel that your life or your children's lives are in danger by staying with him, then get out now. Put the kids in the car and drive to your local police station. They will help you find a temporary place to stay.
2007-11-18 10:35:40 · answer #3 · answered by cykessa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that... just leave.
But, you'll need to have a place to go to before you leave, and have the kids out first. Do it when he's at work. Get an order of protection against him, file for custody and child support...you can do this without being divorced.
It'll be a rough road, but you'll be just fine in the end!
I wish you the best of luck~
2007-11-18 10:33:30 · answer #4 · answered by CDA~NY 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Supposedly every city has a way to handle this; a place for abused women/children to go to in order to escape the abuse. Contact them.
Or, just walk out with what you can take with you, stay at a friends house or walk into a social services or police station to see if they can direct you.
2007-11-18 10:33:16 · answer #5 · answered by Nothingusefullearnedinschool 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I watched a show on Oprah.A woman had been abused for 11years.If you need to leave right away.You need to call a shelter one day while you are out.And ask them how can you plan to leave.And what you can do,what services will be available for you and your children.
You need to find a hiding place,for fast cash! You need to keep all records of your hospital visits and record any time he has abused you.If you have a friend,use a code to let them know you need help for getting out fast and somewhere to stay if you need it.
If he is abusive ,it is important to get your kids out of this enviroment ,before they witness to much!
I wish you well take care!
2007-11-18 10:35:59 · answer #6 · answered by need2know 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you in the UK? If so, just pack your bags and turn up at the Council Offices, they have to rehouse you by law if you are homeless with children. You will have to prove you have been forced to leave which may be difficult if you haven't reported the abuse previously. Most councils have emergency housing for Mum's and kids, it's temp intil they find you somewhere permanent.
2007-11-18 10:31:29 · answer #7 · answered by Jo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a good divoce lawyer.It is not emotionally healthy for the children to be in that sitiuation.It is better for all concerned to end this stalemate.Be strong and make sure you are financially provided for.It will be very expensive to feed and clothe 4 children.Talk to your children if they are okay with your decision,make them understand as best as you can.
2007-11-18 10:34:47 · answer #8 · answered by angelguide 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pack your bags, pack up your kids, and get OUT OF STATE if you can. Go to a shelter. Find a church to support you. Go to a relative's home until you can get on your own two feet. Then file a restraining order and for divorce.
No one should take being abused.
Don't think about it. Just call a relative, find a bed, and GO.
2007-11-18 10:34:36 · answer #9 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that ...You need to call the domestic violence Hot line NOW and get help for you and your children ...Remember no one has the right to treat you bad or to put a hand on you ...You are very important and deserve much more...Trust me don't be afraid or embarrassed they will help you I promise ..They will take care of everything and even come and get you out of the house..You and your kids deserve much more then that ....
2007-11-18 10:39:08 · answer #10 · answered by nana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋