my mom and dad divorcing. In a fantasy world, you would dream that 51, (mom) and 58, (dad) are happily living togetther. My mom and dad aren't. My dad goes golfing and he leaves the house and comes back just for dinner and goes back to a motel. My mom dates this freaky guy Joel whos wife died 44 years ago. I own the house and both of my mom and dad are not home for dinner. SOmetimes they just boss me around saying to make me cook. I am an adult. What do I do to make them have their own lives and not depend on me??? What do I do to keep them togethter? What do I do if Joel Gets married with mom. Ugh... I can't imagine that.
2007-11-18 10:02:06 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Crap... Not 44 just 4
2007-11-18 10:03:10 · update #1
First of all, I live by myself. Second, my parents hate each other but I dont think they want to divorce. THird, my parents bought this house with their name on it. So if the people come for inspection and they dont see them, just me, they will take the house away.
2007-11-18 10:25:31 · update #2
My mom sorta lives here but mostly at Joel's. She likes it better there. She says her house is like the crap of her life. Dad is just there for dinner. I think I will stay a work for lots of time. I like dad better that mom I think. Mom always bossed me around. If they really do get married, I will tell them to move out. Actually this is a brilliant idea. They can stay at Joels. That way I can keep my house and live with MIcheal and Holly, my best friends. (profile)
2007-11-18 10:29:10 · update #3
They are your parents, tell them both how you feel and what you believe isn't fair on you... they both love you and will understand and I'm sure they will try to help you. As for getting them together, let them be. They are both adults. I hope it all works out OK for you.
2007-11-18 10:07:29 · answer #1 · answered by Gina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is horrible there is nothing you can do to make your parents want to be together.. The house is yours then boot them out tell them to grow up and be the parents and not the child I know that sounds harsh, but they need to see reality.. You should not have to put up with that kind of stress. If you mom is with someone else then maybe she should move in with him... As far as your dad is concerned sounds like he has made his mind up and just wants a good home cooked meal and there is nothing wrong with feeding parents but you need to tell him how you feel also tell your mom too be honest with them... If that doesn't work sell the house and find a place of your own.. so you have some kind of peace. Good Luck
2007-11-18 18:10:22 · answer #2 · answered by sarah w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the tables were turned don't you think that your parents would not only talk to you but set up ground rules in the house. As parents say, this is "MY" home you will follow "my" rules. Well whats good for the children is also good for you. Talk to them and serve up a contract for dinner. In it you are going to need to be specific, but, also fair. In other words you can't ask them to get back together or even to act this way. You CAN refuse entry to the freaky guy! Your Mom wants to see him, she does so outside your field of vision. (Away from the home) As for your Dad, well, I'm a golfer too and won't screw over a fellow golfer so get creative. What your focus should be on is determining if you want to set up rules for getting them out, or setting up rules for a normal life style. Contracts are an adult way to cure an adult problem. Once they sign they are obligated to follow the rule or suffer the consequences. Which by the way will also be the toughest part of your contract. No one wants to punish their parents.
2007-11-18 18:25:00 · answer #3 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't keep them together. It sounds like the relationship has been over for a long time anyway if your mom is dating someone else and your dad never comes home. If you're an adult, I would suggest moving out and letting them deal with this issue on their own. Good luck.
2007-11-18 18:05:48 · answer #4 · answered by Vbonics 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Number one -- you move out on your own, so you are not in the middle of it. Number two, you need to realize you cannot control other people's feelings or actions. There is nothgn wrong with talking to them about it & letting them know how you feel, but anything beyond that will probably be a waste of words. That's life, hon. Sorry.
2007-11-18 18:07:24 · answer #5 · answered by JeffyB 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are the parent and they are the kids. You cant keep them together if they dont wont to be, if your father is staying in a hotel tell him to stay there that's one less problem for you. Let them both know you wont them to get their lives together stop bothering you with their troubles, and if they cant do that let them know you have no other option than to ask them to leave.
2007-11-18 18:27:39 · answer #6 · answered by Kirilee T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not your job to parent your parents. I say you tell them you are moving (out of state if possible) and that you are selling the house and they will have to find other accomodations etc. How can you possibly have a life when you are so wrapped up in their drama?
2007-11-18 18:09:16 · answer #7 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I assume you are over 18 and should be going on your own and let them live their lives on their own terms. Keep some distance from them emotionally and physically . At this stage there is not much you can do but focus on your own life.
2007-11-18 18:09:48 · answer #8 · answered by ensoman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, from that description there's not much you can do, unless you can figure out how to eliminate Joel
Looks like , if you own the house, you'll need to do some reverse parenting---"If you marry him, you can't stay here...."
About all you can do is talk to them....
2007-11-18 18:09:43 · answer #9 · answered by Sophie B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, i would sit down and talk to them about whats going on between them and instead of just ignoring the problem coming up with a solution, maybe with their living situation or w.e
2007-11-18 18:06:56 · answer #10 · answered by T-Dawg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋