Wife and i have been together for 3 years. I have cheated (im not proud of this) and she has behind my back talked with her ex husband. Shes very religous and i am not. Her depression has honestly worn me out. I have to do everything around the house while working 60 hour weeks.
We get along pretty well...and rarely fight. But at what point are you kidding yourself that it will work out?
Our personalities have become so different since we met....im just not sure how we can make it....but we get along. Hope that makes sense.
2007-11-18 09:44:26 · 8 answers · asked by Matt C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sad part is......you are on here not even giving advice. Talk about a loser.
2007-11-18 09:50:30 · update #1
Ok let me rephrase. We get a long great....it not like we live in the house away from each other.
The lord, the pills, the doctors have not helped her depression at all in about 10 years....so that isnt it. Its something shes always dealt with.
Im not perfect and ive made mistakes (obviously)....just not sure what to do.
2007-11-18 09:53:20 · update #2
Oh,..she has no idea i cheated on her in the past by the way.
2007-11-18 10:39:36 · update #3
whaaaaaaah, cry me a river....... in less than three years you had the nerve to cheat on her...what a loser
2007-11-18 09:48:29 · answer #1 · answered by Twinkie Thief 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depression can be very difficult for a partner to live with. I think my husband could tell you that.
For it to have gone on so long, I am not surprised you are worn out. She really should be taking steps to deal with it. Antidepressants aren't a long term solution. Ultimately it is down to her to sort it out. I did. I found what it was I needed to do to bring myself out of it, and I did. Her solution will be unique to her, but she has to be trying hard.
The cheating thing, well, you don't need some strangers on here to preach about that. And marriages can survive infidelity. I have seen it happen.
Sounds like the two of you are unhappy, and you need to talk to each other to find out whether or not you want to save this marriage. You don't need to pay a counsellor unless you really want to. Just sit, and talk it through. Find out what she wants from you, and tell her what you want from her. When you have done that, this is where you start taking action to work through the problems.
Don't give up until you know for sure it is a lost cause.
2007-11-18 10:02:39 · answer #2 · answered by helly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am no Dr. but maybe the cheating thing made her depression worse. She has to at least feel happy about herself in order to get better. the feeling that a person has after he or she is cheated on is like going through a death in your family it is so hard to get over it all. if she has been depressed for so long there is a reason why.. do you know for a fact that she still loves you or are both of you just living a lie. dont do everything for her encourage her to help you make chores fun and do them together and yes i know you may be tired and just ready to get out so the only person that can say it is you........... are you staying with her out of your own guilt because this is not good for either of you. are you still in love if both of you still love each other go to counseling together.. good luck i feel for both of you GOD BLESS
2007-11-18 10:11:37 · answer #3 · answered by KING AND ME 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
For her sake, get a divorce. Once you cheat, basically it's over. The trust can never be replaced once it has been violated. You cheated and yet you mention she talked to her ex "behind your back"; didn't you cheat behind HER back? And all she did was talk to him...probably after you cheated on her.
You get along because neither one rocks the boat, but to all intents and purposes, the marriage ended the minute you cheated on her...the longer you put off divorce, the worse it will be for both of you. You no longer have a marriage, all you have is two people who are basically unhappy and neither willing to make the first move...all you have in common now is apathy and a certain amount of courtesy, nothing else.
2007-11-18 09:50:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You keep appolijizing for your cheating, you must carry alot of guilt from this, and its probling running over the edge of your cup, and making your bread wet!!!! good luck, and don't cheat next time!!!!!
2007-11-18 11:01:41 · answer #5 · answered by happywjc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to get help for her depression.The LORD delivered me of it and it didnt take pills or doctors.Those only keep you addicted and you get no better.
If you want to know more, e-mail @ JOE_FLEEMAN@yahoo.com
I had been in church 7 yrs before I learned what I needed to know.GOD can deliver her too.
2007-11-18 09:50:27 · answer #6 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have already answered your question,,it was over when you cheated on her,,its time to move on!!
2007-11-18 11:03:31 · answer #7 · answered by kkahn9dodge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at the altar
2007-11-18 09:47:31 · answer #8 · answered by mrsjenjensen 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋