Some people believe yes & others believe no. Some people believe that loneliness turns people insane & others believe that you function better alone. I have social issues with people because they think I'm out of the "norm" for society. It's not my fault I'm this way. I wasn't raised correctly & I'm an adult who has to make up for my childhood & people don't understand why I'm the way I am. Now no one wants to be around me, I can't function around people, & I can't get jobs. Am I DESTINED to be alone for the rest of my life?
2007-11-18 03:11:36 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I've had a horrible past myself, so I do understand where you're coming from!
You aren't destined to be alone forever! You will get past everything that has happened to you, but it will take time! I know you'll get past it because you've already taken the big step of owning it!
Coming on here and saying what you've said takes guts! It took me years to get to that point, and I still haven't owned it all!
Your next step is to find someone that you can talk to in confidence. It is necessary, as the saying goes, 'a problem shared is a problem halved!'
Once you've told a councellor, psychologist, doctor, even a social worker (all of which have to keep everything strictly confidential), you will feel a lot better! Bottling things up makes it so much worse!
The next stage is to make a solemn vow that whatever happened in your past is over now and you aren't going to give it any more power, at all, ever!
Then you can start dealing with the problems that have been created by your past, such as issues of trust, confidence, and fears and phobias, such as fear of the dark, fear of enclosed spaces, etc!
As you and your councellor, (or whoever you have been talking to), work through these issues, you will find your outlook on life will start to change! Your confidence will grow and you will gradually learn how to trust people and with that, how to mix with people and socialise!
Everything will eventually fall into place, but it will take time, and the amount of time will vary from one person to another, although it sounds like you will get there faster than most!
Also, don't confuse being alone with being lonely! Most people enjoy being alone sometimes, that's normal, but no-one enjoys being lonely!
I hope this helps, and good luck with this, although I'm sure you won't need it!
2007-11-18 03:52:56 · answer #1 · answered by Watsit 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think some sort of support network is very important but is not necessary. It is just harder without one. Many of us do not have families who are supportive and life is harder that way, but we can and will do it.
You are not destined to be alone for the rest of your life. There are probably many peopel who will appreciate you for the person you are. It is just hard to meet the right people but it can be done.
I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I know how hard it is to overcome a bad childhood. I did not have it as bad as yours but it is hard nonetheless.
God bless you.
2007-11-18 11:03:47 · answer #2 · answered by Patti C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes they are important.
I'm sorry your childhood wasn't the way you wanted it to be. But this is no excuse to act like a child when you are an adult. There may be times that will allow you indulge, but adults in relationships (love or friends) want to deal with other adults. and in the workplace acting childish is completely unacceptable. You need to act responsibly and maturely in any professional environment. You are a representative of their business.
I'm sure there are little ways you could make up for some of the things you missed out on, but if you continue to try and make up for your childhood, you will miss out on being an adult. (how will you feel when you realized this?)
2007-11-18 03:20:11 · answer #3 · answered by MCGC 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all you can't make up for your childhood, it's gone and the only thing you can do is move forward. I don't know what your social issues are, but if you concentrate and think about how you are that is not "normal" and think of ways to become "normal" this might help you. You are the only one who can control your own thoughts and actions, you can't make your past your excuse. Friends and family are necessary and important in a person's life, you should do what you have to do to correct the mistakes that you have done that drove everyone out of your life.
2007-11-18 03:22:48 · answer #4 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You are not designed to be alone.
There are a few hermits,that decide that being alone will help them, advance and in some cases it does, but I do not think this is you?
Did you ever see the film, "Whats up Dock"?
One of the best answers was by Barbra Streisand, when she said, when asked "Why are you different"?
Reply "I will try and be the same"
"The same as what"?
"People who are not different"
We are all different, just look for the good in people, you do that, they will look for the good in you!
2007-11-18 03:34:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am too. I have Asperger's syndrome, and am not comfy around ppl. I love my kids, but need to be away from them time to time. Some ppl are anti-social, just the way they are. it isn't abnormal, unless it is a phobia, in that case, I suggest help. I am normal when alone but when I feel i need to be around ppl, I go to Wally world,and can be around ppl and not associate with them. Strange, I know, but then again, I AM strange.
2007-11-18 03:16:23 · answer #6 · answered by Dragonflygirl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I used to be a very socialble person too...when I had money but now I'm very broke and can't go as many places or do as many things as I'd like.My friends stopped calling me to invite me places because I had to keep saying no but it's their loss..I'm happy with a good book or movie anyway.
2007-11-18 03:16:22 · answer #7 · answered by Janell T 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
pardon me here, but define "normal".
I'm not sure what normal is, but avrage is a reasnable term....
Yes, freinds/family is/are very important in a human's life. But some manage to live with out them. Some do go insane, some do not. I guess it depends on their perosnalety realy.
2007-11-18 09:52:59 · answer #8 · answered by Crazygirl ♥ aka GT 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is unhealthy to live life alone with no one to talk to. you need some one to talk to to keep your mind sane. no one is meant to be alone. God said call upon me and give me your worries. you can always talk to god but you need people also.
2007-11-18 03:17:18 · answer #9 · answered by sassylassy2876 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you need to get some professional help
2007-11-18 03:15:32 · answer #10 · answered by Angela C 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋