A friend has asked me to read over a letter she is writing to a judge, and this sentence has me scratching my head:
"The children were in the presence of John Doe only while also accompanied by one of the babysitters; Sarah Doe, Alysa Public, Jane Smith; or myself."
Is there a better way to word or punctuate this sentence? As I said, this is a letter to a judge, so if you are not certain, please abstain from answering this question.
2007-11-18 03:09:56 · 8 answers · asked by Mickey Mouse Spears 7 in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
The children were only in the presence of John Doe while accompanied by one of the babysitters or myself. The babysitters are Sarah Doe, Alysa Public and Jane Smith.
2007-11-18 03:17:10 · answer #1 · answered by Dayna 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The children were in the presence of John Doe only when he was accompanied by one of the babysitters - Sarah Doe, Alysa Public, Jane Smith - or myself.
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2007-11-18 10:54:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The children were only in the presence of John Doe while accompanied by one of the babysitters (Sarah Doe, Alysa Public, Jane Smith, or me).
Just as an aside, "myself" isn't correct in that sentence, because the subject isn't "Me".
It just occurred to me that the "myself" mentioned might not be one of the babysitters, in which case:
The children were only in the presence of John Doe while accompanied by one of the babysitters (Sarah Doe, Alysa Public, Jane Smith), or me.
2007-11-18 03:21:14 · answer #3 · answered by Julie J 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"The children were in the presence of John Doe only for a while and were also accompanied by one of the babysitters: Sarah Doe, Alysa Public, Jane Smith and myself."
2007-11-18 03:44:59 · answer #4 · answered by cidyah 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i think this sounds better; the children were only in the presence of john doe while accompanied by one of the babysitters, so on and so on... otherwise just take out the word also.
2007-11-18 03:26:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The word also is unnecessary. The semicolon after babysitters should be a colon. The semicolon after Jane Smith is not needed. Use the word me instead of myself.
2007-11-18 03:21:47 · answer #6 · answered by Harbinger 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
cliffordex (right above me) is correct. Since I assume the person speaking is not included in the list of babysitters, dashes should be used to separate the interrupting list from the rest of the sentence.
2007-11-18 19:57:45 · answer #7 · answered by whispermoose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go with "older than me" and yes i do believe its punctuated correctly but it is way to long. it's awkward. Try breaking it down into 3 sentences. like- My brother, Bob, was only a couple of years older than me. In his mind he was far superior in every aspect. Therefore he thought it was the funniest thing he had ever seen.
2016-05-24 02:14:49 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋