why do feminists complain about men being nice and holding open doors?

Question

isn't that just a nice thing to do for a PERSON regardless if its a man or a woman or do you want people to be alot more rude?

it has nothing to do with saying a woman is too helpless/stupid to open a door its just being nice.

would they rather they slam it in their faces?

Answer 1

"isn't that just a nice thing to do for a PERSON regardless if its a man or a woman"

exactly, I would rather him do it because I'm a PERSON, and not because I'm a woman. If he would do it for a woman and not for a man, that's when I dislike it.

I would rather people have common courtesy for all people.

Answer 2

You are right they have no logical reason to complain, however you will appreciate that holding open doors and such reminds them of the female stereotype connotations i.e. that women actually need to have doors held for them. It is like they try so hard to break the stereotype, they they cannot distinguish between a simple polite gesture and someone acting on the outdated stereotypes.

I guess as long as we will have men who do not treat women as equals (and there are still plenty around) we shall have feminists acting like this. You can't hold it against them.

Answer 3

Originally the objection was that holding doors for women, giving up your seat on the bus for women etc., was part of a whole cultural mindset which saw women as 'the weaker sex',
who were dependent on men for their livelihood and purpose in life. Women were good little wives and mothers.
Society has moved on.
I don't expect a man to hold a door open for me just because I am a woman, but I am delighted if he (or another woman) holds it open when I am carrying several parcels, or have three children with me. And I would do the same for a man in similar circumstances.
I get quite angry when people let the door slam in my face, especially if i don't have my hands free, (as above.)
I think good manners (old fashioned phrase I know), and being thoughtful towards others benefit all of us.

Answer 4

I hold my doors at everyone (both men and women). Some manners would do so much for society...
Oh, at everyone except a (I hope very confused) man hating feminist i know. When we are entering somewhere together, i open the door, enter, and close it behind me. And when she complains, I say, "I open the door, pass through it, and close it, all this at least once, cannot you do the same?"

Answer 5

I've seen this question before, and I'm going to tell you the same thing I told the other person. I DON'T have any problem with that, because I myself hold the door open for other people. It's natural to hold the door open (regardless of your gender or the other person's gender) for someone who is RIGHT BEHIND YOU. On the other hand, if you have to wait five seconds for the person to get to the door (assuming they aren't carrying a lot of stuff to the point that they wouldn't be able to get the door themselves) I think it's strange to go SO out of your way to open the door for someone. I doubt a man would wait five whole seconds to keep the door open for another man. I always feel like the guy might be going to extra efforts for perverted reasons in that situation, if you know what I mean.

Answer 6

you're right, I like it when ppl leave the door open for me and stuff and I do it too, it's just a question of manners..But there was a time when small things like that meant much more. Men have done many many thing in 'women's best interests' that robbed them of precious opportunities, for example, business wasn't thought to women to spare them to dreadful world of cut-throat competitiveness. As a woman, I think you should care about what these other women say, there are extremists in every field.

Answer 7

I thank women for being kind and not letting the door slam in my face. I think that it is common courtesy.

Now, if I'm on a date (with my wife) and she gets to the door first, she usually opens it and holds it for me. Sometimes, she'll step to the side and let me open it for her. Doesn't make any difference to me.

Answer 8

I think it's ridiculous that anyone would complain about someone being thoughtful and considerate. I open doors for both men and women, and both men and women have opened doors for me. It's called being kind. People can complain about anything.

Answer 9

yes i agree with you wholeheartedly. i LOVE it when a person holds the door open for me, especially when i have my hands full and my daughter in tow....it's called being DECENT to eachother and has NOTHING to do with feminism. i have been given dirty looks by WOMEN for holding the door for them!!! (and im a woman!??!i dont get that)....i would prefer my daughter learns to be polite and decent instead of watching her mother slam to door in peoples' faces because im too important to have a shred of kindness in me.

Answer 10

I've never heard any such thing. Some people don't like having doors held open for them. It has nothing to do with feminism because I have encountered handicapped people who did not appreciate having doors held open for them. It like they don't want any help because having others do things like that for them makes them feel helpless and they don't like it.