Tell me how I should take this, "what does it mean"?

Question

This is gonna take some explaining so please read and answer, I really need opinions...

Recently I posted a question, "She asked Me"

To try and make it short, this was about a girl who is now dating a man I dated several years ago... About a year ago, we moved here... In January, we moved here... I didn't know until the spring that my neighbor four houses down was someone I once dated .....
About two weeks ago or so, I was walking my puppy and his girlfriend who has made it obvious to me everytime I come and go from my home, she knows we dated... When I was on my walk, she stopped me and asked me about "the puppy" OK, what ever... I am a nice person, I answered her and before I knew it she was letting me know, she knew I had once been involved with her now boyfriend, she asked me if we have ever talked.
I let her know I didn't even know who he was until I saw his mom checking the mail in the spring... I honestly just thought he was a neighborly neighbor..... And no,

I have only waved in passing...

Last night my hubby more coming before you answer OK...........

My hubby left for work around four, when he left, she waved him down to talk to him because at the time she talked to me, she let me know too she went to school with my hubby.... OK wierd.....
As I know he probably dated her too...
She asked him how long we had been married, personal stuff she asked me too... "Said I was sweet etc......."
Still more coming sorry.......

So my question is, What are her motives? Why is she so curious? She came straight out and asked me if her ex and I talk........ BOLD...... What do you make of this?

And how would you feel? How would you deal with it?

This is a serious question to anyone who posts ....

I am really curious what her motives are?

I am not jealous that she stopped my hubby, but look at the two differences, I never approache her boyfriend, "MY ex boyfriend" simply because it was just that....

So what is she trying to prove?

"And one last thing......."

I really am a nice person, so when do I finally tell her off? At what point do I say OK she has crossed the line......?

I myself am on 15 years of marriage... He her boyfriend has been married twice her once.....

EDITED to Gypsy girl.......

"Some may see this as Normal, I don't..."
I am family orinated and respectful of others...
And the thought of "sharing" is not for me... In recent posts, I have made that clear...

Answer 1

Ignore her!! She is obviously jealous and flat out nosey really stupid if you ask me, she must have some lack of trust in him if she is worried about you! I am married and am actually really good friends with my husbands first real girlfriend no problems at all that was in the past I don't even think about it and neither should she she needs to worry about her life and relationship!

Answer 2

You are probably right about the fact that she dated your now husband. Either that or she wanted to date him and never got the chance. She feels threatened by you for some reason and is trying to make sure that you can not get your hooks into her BF. At the same time she is making contact with your husband so that she has a foot in the door on his good side just in case anything goes wrong there. Do not trust her motives. Have you ever heard the saying, "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer"? She is one of those that you want to keep your eye on. I'm not saying that she will do anything intentional to ruin your marriage but don't let her get too friendly with your husband. Make sure that she knows where the boundaries are. Good Luck and play nice so that you do not come out of this looking like the bad guy.

Answer 3

i don't think you'll have an issue with her as far as going behing your back about anything because she is right in your face! sounds like she has got some issues with trust. the fact that she approached both you and your husband to question you tells me that. she wants to be sure that she has the real thing and the exes living a little too close for comfort has her on an information hunt. she sounds a bit insecure. i wonder if she hacks his voicemail or tries to read his email and stuff like that. what i would do is just wave to her when you see her, like you said, you're a nice person, cordial, civilized and it's just something you do. but if it makes you feel uncomfortable, the level of personal info she gets into, let her know that she doesn't need to be talking to you like that, she needs to be talking to her man. what was past is past and she doesn't need to know about your relationship with her man, not unless he is controlling, abusive, dangerous or something extreme like that. i could see if her life was in some immediate danger, but on the surface, it just seems like she has some insecurities. i find it curious that you dated her now boyfriend and she went to school with your husband. it's good that you and your husband can talk about it. i hope that living in such close proximity will not pose a problem. just keep the lines of communication open between you and your husband and if you just get caught in another "ambush" from her, just gently encourage her to keep the lines of communication open between them, like, she should be talking to him! LOL! i wish you all, all the best...

Answer 4

I would discuss this with your husband exactly as you told us, and I would come up with a game plan with him as to how you both will handle this.

Obviously this is not an issue of your having any interest in your ex and this is a problem that this other woman has started.

I don't know her motives but I would sort of nip this in the butt. I don't mean do anything in a negative way but I do mean that perhaps you should walk your dog the other way, not pass their home, and maybe even go with your husband when walking the dog, to make it clear that if something is said that you are both there to hear it.

You need to come together on this one, and keep drama out of your life. The other woman's motives could be anything and I don't think it's wise to want to be friends with them either, it's inviting trouble. Just go about your life as usual. :)

Answer 5

Perhaps she's insecure. Maybe she's a nosey busy-body. Maybe she is after your husband... or maybe she's hankerin for a 4some... O.o
Or maybe she is trying to be open and up-front with an uncomfortable situation.
Who knows? Who cares?!

Maybe you worry too much?

If you trust your husband... it doesn't matter what her motives are!
and hey, if she makes you uncomfortable with conversation, perhaps you should afford her the same attention as you have given her husband... a friendly wave... and thats all.

Be well sweetheart
*hugs*

Answer 6

I think she has two issues, she is insecure and she is jealous of you. I would avoid her altogether and tell your husband to do the same because I think she's a nut case. I don't have any contact with any exes and I don't want to either. That's why they are "exes"!

Answer 7

I think she is one insecure woman and is feeling threatened by the fact that you only live a few houses away from her boyfriend...I wouldn't even stop to talk with her...she is fishing for information....

She probably stopped your husband and talked to him...to get more information out of him...to put him on guard about the relationship you once had with her boyfriend....It doesn't matter what her motives are...she is very insecure and eventually she may lose her boyfriend due to those insecurities.....

Answer 8

She may just be curious. It's possible she would like to know what you know about your ex-boyfriend, her current man. It's possible she wants to know if her former "schoolmate", your husband, is "happily" married. Or she just may be lonely, wants to be friendly, feels you "all" have something in common, and isn't afraid to talk about it.

I think I'd worry more about why YOU are worried....yes, I think it's more than curiosity on your part. If you think she is out to get your husband, you need to ask yourself how much you trust your husband.

Answer 9

Wellllllllllllll ................. since you ask:
She is looking to get together for a partner swap. More than likely she didn't have a chance to hook up with your husband, but would have liked to and now is her opportunity.
You have to decide if you want to hook up with the old boyfrind again and if you can live with your husband being with her .
Also, she might be lookin to hook up with you, are you up for that????

Answer 10

My first instinct is to say that you've got issues. Really sounds like you are more worried about it than anyone else is.
My next answer would be, maybe they are swingers and she wants all of you to hook up!