This sort of pre-dates our marriage about a year. A year before we were married I was forced to take a promotion that increased my commute to nearly 3 hrs a day, sometimes more, rarely less. So for a year I commuted so I could be close to her, but when we got married, I wanted to move closer to my job, which meant now she would have a longer commute. Her commute involves walking less than 200 yards to the train, riding the train for 45 minutes and then walking 1.5 miles to work (she could take a bus, but chooses not to). So it does kind of suck for her and I know it does, but it is only temporary. But the fact she now has this commute has her so angry she can't even say a nice word to me. I cook her dinner every night, We go on 3 or 4 dates a month, and I make her breakfast and lunch. I do work long hours because I am ambitious, but I make time for her too. We are sleeping in seperate bedrooms and have not had sex for 2 months, please help, what can I do to make her happy?
2007-11-18 01:22:20 · 14 answers · asked by Sable_Ridge 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Call a meeting. Let's talk. You need to explain what is happening and what you are trying to accomplish. Let her have her say about how she feels. Try to work out a compromise.
Each of you should be able to share the responsibility of making things work. It sounds like you are give more than your 1/2 but I haven't heard her side. I certainly don't think you should be making her breakfast, lunch and dinner just to make her happy, and it isn't working anyway. Make a list and share the duties.
You do things you need to do for yourself and she does things that she needs done for herself. Other work things you divide up.
My husband and I at one time drove in opposite directions and we bought a new house located so we split the drive. So one person wasn't doing the greater travel.
Good luck. But remember if at only 3 months you are living with someone who will not work together with you what is it going to be like in 5 years.
2007-11-18 01:33:51 · answer #1 · answered by Lyn B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wife needs to realize that marriage is give and take. You both have to compromise and you did so for a year with your long commute so now it is her turn. I know it is probably very aggravating for her to have to do her travel routine every single day, but she knew it would be like this prior to marrying you. It sounds like she is punishing you for her failure to think this marriage through. She sounds as though she is a person who isn't gonna be happy no matter how much time and attention you give her. she sounds very resentful and you get the brunt of her anger. Some people just thrive on drama and tension and some people just really don't want to be happy...she seems to be this type of person. You guys have only been married 3 months and are sleeping in separate bedrooms & not having sex. This is not a sign at all. You guys should be all over each other all the time. YOU ARE NEWLY WEDS for heaven's sake. If you are doing all you say you are doing for her there isn't much else that you can do. I am sorry to be so blunt but you could probably move across the street from where she works and she would still find a reason to be angry at you. I think this commute issue is just a cover up for what she is really resentful about. You may want to consider a separation. Seriously. Maybe she needs to see what life is like without you and then she will appreciate you more because she certainly doesn't now. Good Luck.
2007-11-18 01:43:44 · answer #2 · answered by whatshername 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what is her problem exactly? It appears that you can't make her happy. Maybe, just maybe it is something else. You say you do all of those nice things and she is still unhappy so I am guessing that she is unhappy about something else. Is she from a rich family and a spoiled little rich girl or something? This does seem odd. Stop doing everything for her for a month and see how she reacts. Really. Why do all of these things and be treated badly? Talk to her and ask her what the hell is her problem and then maybe you can fix it. don't guess what the problem is, but ask her to tell you. (smile)
2007-11-18 01:32:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
believe me it's ok...
me and my husband went through something similar.
we're both in the army. in germany and away from friends and family. we got into heated arguement and he's left me a few times. but we're back together and better.
there's hope. because of your promotion i can guess that you've been spending some time at work and she probably feels like she had to sacrifice a lot for you but you're not doing the same.if there's something she's been wanting it's not to be alone. look into her eyes and tell her that you don't want to be like this anymore just tell her that it'll be temporary.
see if you can take just one day off and talk to her boss too. like a friday, if it's in your budget, go out for the weekend with her.
do something to let her know that she's your number 1 and still part of your life. good luck
2007-11-18 01:43:42 · answer #4 · answered by Lili 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It happens. It doesn't mean she does not love you or that she's cheating. She just angry . Talk to her, Let her know that you understand what she is going through in terms of the commute and you appreciate her sticking with it. let her know it's temporary. You need to communicate in order to move forward.
2007-11-18 11:26:41 · answer #5 · answered by belle k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What MORE can you do to make her happy??? You are doing everything do make her happy, do not do any more, you are busting your behind for her, and she is showing nothing for you doing so much for her!!!
Buddy, marriage is 50/50, I think you married a little immature brat, you should talk to her, and put your foot down and if she wants to throw her tantrums, then let her, she can throw them when she is alone in the house and you are gone!!
She sounds like an ingrateful spoiled brat, and it is time you put your foot down and put her in her place, and tell her she better shape up or ship out!!!!!!!
2007-11-18 01:45:57 · answer #6 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit her down and say hey.. GROW UP. your doing this for not only yourself but her also. maybe get a job closer to home if you can. Why cant she drive herself anyway? quit doing things for her your not her mommy or daddy she needs to stop being selfish. and if that doesnt work maybe a seperation so she can see how much she really needs you!
2007-11-18 01:37:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i feel sorry for both of you....you barely had 3 moths of marriage and you already sleep in seperate room...at this early stage you are still in the adjustment period...and your situation is not making this easier... you must talk... compromise...marriage is a two way traffic..give and take... brace your self for more problems that may come your way... pray for guidance..
2007-11-18 02:15:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counseling. Obviously something more is bothering her, because that's a little long to be acting that immature over this, although i would have been mad at you too. Good luck.
2007-11-18 01:35:25 · answer #9 · answered by Scooter_The_Squirrels_Wifey 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U need to quit
2007-11-18 01:33:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋