my father says hes not racist but he is.. Im white, and my boyfriends black. well my father doesnt like my boyfriend because of this and is always saying nasty racial comments bout him. I tell my boyfriend and my boyfriend now hates my dad.. and wants to confront him but that'd only get me into more trouble. Anyone have any GOOD advice for me on this?
2007-11-17 23:43:17 · 9 answers · asked by Little Miss Cute!! 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
ok im adding to this. im 17 my boyfriend i call him because i love him hes my best friend and i always tell him everything because i can vent through him. He's 33. My Father is not understanding and never lets me have any friends. and i am sick an tied of his racial comments so i did tell my boyfriend because my father made me so mad and i just vented them through to him. PS IM CHRISTIAN!!!
2007-11-18 22:59:21 · update #1
i would tell your boyfriend, to ignore your father.
2007-11-17 23:59:41 · answer #1 · answered by dbrh_soto 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Quite often people say things in private that they wouldn't say face to face because they don't want to spoil relations with each other too much.
When your father made those racist comments, he probably didn't expect that you would tell on him to your boyfriend. And I'd say, it was very undiplomatic of you to convey your father's uncomplementary comments to your boyfriend.
You've set up a situation where confrontation is likely to happen. And such a confrontation will probably make the anymosity much worse than it has been until now.
I suggest that you lie to your boyfriend and tell him that your father has changed his mind and now he is sorry about making those racist comments. If you can keep them from talking about it with each other. Then you can get away with this lie and avoid having a confrontation between them.
2007-11-18 08:03:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all you can't change your dad. His beliefs are deep set and personal. Maybe not politcally correct, but still his and he's entitled to them.
Second - while it hurts you to hear the bad comments, what purpose does it serve to tell your BF? It only hurts him and makes him defensive.
I don't know how old you are, but I'd recommend taking a good hard look at the big picture. If you end up marrying this man, you will probably lose your relationship with your dad and possibly other members of your family. Same thing for your BF. Large portions of the black community are still very closed to interracial relationships/marriage. So, if you go forward with your relationship, expect to get it from both sides. Especially black women who think white women are stealing their men.
*Married to a black man for 10 years*
2007-11-18 07:55:28 · answer #3 · answered by Suz E 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You have made a choice and have to deal with the ramifications. If the boyfriend is more important than your family run off into eternal bliss....otherwise both relationships will be damaged.
2007-11-18 07:51:27 · answer #4 · answered by lenzix5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may take your dad several years to get over this if ever. but you made the choice of mixing. Did you not think about your family before makin the choice? Your dad may have a little in him but just all that he sees is the trouble that this can cause which brings out these parts.
2007-11-18 09:27:00 · answer #5 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Bad, bad call telling your boyfriend. There is not a single thing you gained from that. To the contrary: it made it worse. You're on your own now, I guess.
2007-11-18 07:56:19 · answer #6 · answered by Psychotic Clown 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well first of all stop going back and telling your boyfriend, and like sumone said ignore his ignorance.
2007-11-18 09:12:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
nothin you do will change it, so don't tell your other, just making things harder on yourself! and go find Jesus you need him!
2007-11-18 08:02:26 · answer #8 · answered by Boondocksaint 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ignore the ignorant.
2007-11-18 07:51:00 · answer #9 · answered by Raven C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋