Our sex live has dwindled to a rare one time a week thing. We used to be all over each other. I just woke up and he was looking at porn on the internet, I got upset. His ex wife is interferring in our relationship and causing many problems. It seems that nothing is right with us anymore and I don't know what to do. I can't stand living this way and am so hurt by all of this that crying doesn't even happen...I am numb. I just don't know what to do about it all. What to do?
2007-11-17 23:27:32 · 12 answers · asked by Ali C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stress in today's over inflated, not enough income, over credit extended lives today can cause a lot of problems in a marriage or just about any situation.
As for your husband looking at porn. The bigger deal you make of it the more stress you will feel. Almost all men look at porn from time to time. It does not mean they are addicted to it. Men are visual creatures and we all like to look at scantily clothed women. Less than 5% of men who look at porn are addicted and most become bored in a short time. The very fact he is looking means there is still interest there.
You didn't state any reasons why his ex wife is interferring. Is it because of their children together or other problems.
What other problems are bothering you in your life, other than what you have stated? This can have a direct bearing on your sex lives as well.
Sex generally does slow down after the first year or so. You become accustomed to each other and sex can become ho-hum. This leads to affairs on both sides of the marriage. Affairs are not good because it involves lying. Leave the cheating factor out of it! This is one of the main reasons many couples have open marriages or become swingers. They want to remain together because they love one another but sex with the same person all the time can become boring or ho-hum. If you can get the two of you away for a week end alone in a nice hotel or resort. Forget the problems at home.
Marriages take a lot of work and I believe moreso today because of all the demands on our time. Figure out ways to make more time for each other. If not you may well become another ex wife.
2007-11-17 23:51:28 · answer #1 · answered by pinelake302 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You two should take a mini vacation. Leave all your problems at home. Even if it's just for the weekend. Go somewhere really romantic so you can re-kindle your love and put the spark back in...and also take that oppurtunity to sit down together and talk. Take turns talking and listening, don't accuse eachother of anything (because it'll make things worse).
2007-11-18 07:39:56 · answer #2 · answered by xsphattygurl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Husbands looking at porn doesn't mean they think their wives are less attractive.Look at it with him.You never know your sex life could increase.As far as the ex wife thing.Don't fight and argue over her.Communicate to see how you both together can fix the problem.She wins if you fight and argue all the time and i'm sure if she knows you are having problems you two are perfect pray for her.Don't be that.Show her you two are strong and that you can work out your problems as adults.
2007-11-18 07:46:57 · answer #3 · answered by lollypop 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Communication, communication, communication..
That is the key...
Stress is a big factor in all of our lives...We all have various things that causes stress...work...decreasing intimate relations...x wives/husbands....
The two of you need to sit down and discuss the various situations that are a concern to you. One step at a time..
2007-11-18 07:34:40 · answer #4 · answered by Wayne 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to him about it. Simpliest yet hardest thing to do. Maybe your actions/feelings/behavior has made him feel more alone. Contray to popular opinion..guys have feelings too....most of the time.
One thought, set up a weekend in a hotel with him.
2007-11-18 07:36:31 · answer #5 · answered by Bob D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try and talk to him and ask him why on earth he is looking at porn?? if things dont work out, the best thing to do is just divorce, you can't live like this for the rst of your life.
2007-11-18 08:05:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and discuss the matter and tell him if the situation doesn't change, you are leaving! Sometimes men have to be shocked into changing!
2007-11-18 07:51:07 · answer #7 · answered by Gerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing worst is to have stress in life.
gotta get rid of the stress cause to many health issues to act up
2007-11-18 09:49:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
men dont usually show their emotional side they assume and presume that you know what's going on so you might as well speak out your mind or be tortured the rest of your married life
2007-11-18 10:16:59 · answer #9 · answered by zoe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it, tell him exactly how you feel. He can't read your mind. Communication my dear, is the key to all relationships
2007-11-18 07:34:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋