we been live in for 1 year already we are happy to have each other thats why we decided to get married but our decision is different.that is our problem until now .even in simple things.our wedding is settle already....pls help me i dont know what to do...
2007-11-17 23:24:37 · 5 answers · asked by boracay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Are you arguing about wedding matters in general? If so, that is so typical. My husband & I were practically at war over our marriage & our parents joined in. It was a total circus. We were already married at the courthouse & this was a church wedding a year later. If we could do it all over again, we would have ran off to get married on some tropical island or even Vegas w/ just the 2 of us. It would have been less stressful! Btw, we have been married for almost 13 yrs & have 2 children, so just because you fight before the wedding doesn't mean it's doomed. It could be just planning the wedding in general. You will also see tensions arrive w/ a new baby, moving, & anything to do w/ finances, so get ready!
2007-11-17 23:39:17 · answer #1 · answered by Katie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel this is quite normal because you both want the best for each other,after all, this is the future you are planning together.
What I would do is stop the quarreling and "listen" to what she has to offer and then ask her to "listen" what you have to offer.
Have an open mind because two people can not be "right" at the same time with a conflict in the middle.
What seems to be going on here is the STYLE of communication and it's best to address this before you make the leap.
Here are some examples of "open communication" versus "closed communication'
Open communication example:
"I understand that you want to invite 200 people to our wedding and your idea sounds great, how may we do this?"
"I feel you disagree with my ideas about the wedding plans, maybe I am not thinking clearly and missing something, could you tell me about your ideas?"
"I often feel you may not understand my decisions that I make, Is this true?"
Closed communication example:
"YOU CAN'T invite 200 people to our wedding."
"YOU just DON'T get it about these wedding plans, do you?"
"Your ideas are ALWAYS stupid and NEVER make sense" or "what are you thinking?"
avoid the words "Never" ,"always" "stupid", "can't" "won't" "should" "have to" "shouldn't"
It all comes down to "listening" to your partner and being open with your thoughts and feelings (tactful expressions). Watch for the use of the word "you" in your sentences.
When a person feels attacked by criticism they usually get defensive and off comes the gloves!
2007-11-18 09:20:29 · answer #2 · answered by Jasp323 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Planning a wedding is very stressful. Try to relax and talk things through. Compromise on things. This would be a good solution to your problems. best of luck.
2007-11-18 08:32:53 · answer #3 · answered by Blondie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your set of questions made sense. I think the group mind could give you advice. More background info is needed. What decision are you talking about...you know little things like that......
2007-11-18 07:38:21 · answer #4 · answered by Bob D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down and talk things out or postphone the wedding
for a while.
2007-11-18 07:48:55 · answer #5 · answered by Jerry S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋