Do you eventually forget?

Question

My guy of 8 years and 3 children cheated on me,for about 5 months leaving home blatantly going to see this other woman.Now we are back together,(she is gone has been for almost 4 months) I have tried to forgive him in my heart but every once in a while,I think about it and the pain is still there all over again,does that hurt eventually go away?

Answer 1

From my experience I tried to forgive and forget but It would not budge. 9 months went by and I found myself still lashing out and being full of distrust. a year and a half later we got into a spat and like never before I went right back to the fact that them man I trusted for so many years lied to me and kept secrets and was capable of cheating without the blink of an eye. We went threw life like normal except for the fact that I could not ever imagine him to be the man I once thought he was. When you Cherish someone and then find out they are a fraud how could we possible just let it go. We had no children so it was not difficult to divorce. My pain left me walking away with a few pieces of furniture and a little cash. I was so foolish I did not get a attorney and left him in pretty good shape. We did not even split the mortgage or the savings that we had accumulated. I can look back now and remember the things that were good like him helping me to grow up and be responcible. But then my mind flashes to the bedroom scene with him and my girl friend.
Best wishes Either way I know it is rough.

Answer 2

I have not been, from what i know, distinctly cheated on! but i have been truely hurt by my guy. WHat happened sucked and it hurt bad. I still seem to think about it sometimes, but i have been taught all my life that when you have an issue you need to make your mind up whether or not you can and want to forgive the person. Once you do this you need to stick by it. If you can not forgive you will not forget! it is up to you and no one else to do this. You chose to get back with him and you need to try your best to except what happened and leave it in the past. It is hard b/c you probably feel like he could cheat again at any minute.Cheating is a hard thing to justify within yourself. After a spouse cheats in my opinion there should be no forgiveness given. I know love and children play a big part in decision making. but if someone cheats they have no respect with out respect how do you have a relationship? or atleast a trusting relationship after trust has been broken? it is hard and like i said before you have made the decision to stay so you, from here, need to accept and move on. forgive but never forget...that is important!

Answer 3

Well Honey she may be gone but they are tons of others and he will go with the feeling in his loins when he meets up with someone else again, because once you get the courage to do it once it gets easier from there on out, then there ya go all over again, will you ever forget the first time that you had sex ? same thing, you never forget anything that someone did to you, you will either have to live with it as you have done or get some one else, I've heard other women say when we are doing it I think about how he had it in someone else and it turns them off, something there for you to think about to the next time you do it,

Answer 4

Sad to say, but no. The betrayal of your deepest emotions and trust, will always be bruised. I would say to detach as much as you can, be more independent, and move towards exiting this relationship. Yeah, it sounds big and drastic and life changing....but you were the good guy in all this. You deserve all the great things that God put you here for! Don't let your wonderful life go by, without living. You can do it, be good to yourself, and think of what you are teaching your children. If someone had treated one of your children this way, would it be okay?

Answer 5

If the pain does go it's only till the next time you catch him
Remember he also cheated on his 3 children. If you think you deserve better [and you do ] just leave him and find happiness in someone that will respect you and your children.

Answer 6

You made the choice to take him back so you better deal with your insecurities or he'll be off and running again. You'll never forget what happened but its not healthy to let it cripple you emotionally for life. Both of you should be doing counseling.

Answer 7

No it doesn't and the lack of trust won't go away either.Ask yourself do you trust him with all you got?Trust has to be there for any relationship to work.This will soon destroy your self esteem and you will consider yourself to be less of a person than you really are.Marriage is based on trust ,respect and loyalty.How do you rate those in your relationship?

Answer 8

Nope. It will always be there, because you know that he is capable of cheating, and as such, will probably cheat again. Don't be naive, move on to someone else. It'll be better for you in the end.

Answer 9

MINE HAS NEVER WENT AWAY, YOU MAY BE ABLE TO FORGIVE BUT YOU WILL NEVER FORGET. THE HURT IS TOO MUCH ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN. MAYBE THEY DONT REALLY LOVE YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE?! MY EX MADE THE STATEMENT ' YOU CANT BE WHAT SOMEONE ELSE WANTS SOMETIMES, DIDNT MAKE SENSE TO ME , BUT IT EVIDENTLY DID TO HIM.HE CAME BACK ONCE BUT ONLY TO PUT HIMSELF IN A GOOD POSITION TO LEAVE AGAIN. WHEN HE GOT WHERE HE WANTED TO BE FINANCIALLY AND EMOTIONLY, I WAS HISTORY. HE WAS A USER. DONT LET THAT HAPPEN TO YOU, ITS TOO HARD TO FORGET.

Answer 10

one can learn to forgive but never to forget. Thou' u can't force forgiveness to happen...let nature takes it course. Time heal all wounds...you'll know & feel in your heart when you are ready to forgive or have forgiven the person who caused you pain.