Did you or would You Marry A MAN with no savings ?

Question

My BF is 34 years old.
He is lawyer with two advanced degrees.
His dad bought him his house and car. But his Dad's name is the ONLY 1 on 'his house'
Even though my bf is a lawyer he has zero savings and is in fact in debt he tells me.
Last year he had 19k in credit debt after he was fired and used credit to survive on (mind you he had no car or mortgage payments)
I do love him but he laments he is bad with money but acts immature if i tell him how i have saved.
Im in my 30s too and have a modest networth for my age (about 160k total)
I like to spend my money too and I should have 350k by now, but I SPENT aton over last 10 years.
But I also work like a maniac.
ANyway I do not understand how he has no savings.
He has promised me he will change and be an adult when we get married, he says having kids will make him work much harder.

SHould I believe him ?

Answer 1

Have you any brains at all. No insult intended. Would you buy a milk cow with no t its. That is what you are getting into. The first thing you should understand is why people call lawyers bottom feeding scum suckers. Let me explain it so you can understand it. Your boyfreind is lieing to you. The home is his and the car also. by it being in his fathers name if he was to marry and then the dad die. It is a not community property. If you marry him he is entitled to you money. Because it becomes community property. If you divorce him he still has the house and the car. He is playing you like a fiddle. More over do not let anyone know they amount of money you have. Also I would like for you to read the bible and bit and gain wisdom in relationships and wisdom. There is vast wisdom in the bible if you will seek it out. You have done well to have saved money. My hat is off to you on that God blessed good people with money. But money is fading as is beauty. As far as savings never marry for money nor marry a deed beat or a lawyer. That is wisdom. Marry for love. But before marrage get to know yourself and God. God created the First men perfect then he divided man and created male and female of the human race. God plan was that he would prefect both the male and the female of every union. So how is your relationship with God. Because God will be trying to bless you and make you complete in him. Satan will be trying to get you to work like a dog, then hand your money over to a lawyer. Satan brings destruction into a persons life. And you should read what God states about lawyers. Indeed do not marry a person that hides there asets in other people names and is borke or appears to be broke. Interesting con man you have there.

Answer 2

No! A 34-year-old lawyer with no money? Nine years out of law school and doesn't have a dime to his name? Hmmm, either he's doing lots of coke up his nose, gambling debts (hence why his smart daddy keeps the house & car in his name), or he is a lying-scumbag-lawyer. Could be all three!

Basically, he needs to grow up as he has been in "school-boy-mode" for so long he doesn't know how to be a man. He also needs to take a personal finance class to get his priorities & affairs in order and to learn how to save & invest for the future, if he wants a future with U. Then, when he's learned to be more mature and responsible, then I would finally agree (for U) to marry him -- if U really love him.

Answer 3

I would, but I'm only 22 and my fiance is only 22 so we're kind of in a different situation. We're just starting out, and we're not expected to have much (if anything) in savings. At 34, you should be adult enough to care for yourself financially.

I don't know if I would believe him or not. Much of the time it takes a serious relationship and being partially responsible for someone else to make a person straighten up and start to take care of themselves. Think of it in physical terms. How many weight loss commercials have a woman saying they did it for their children? People stop smoking for their children. A man stops drinking at his wife's request. Theoretically it is entirely possible that an irresponsible person (speaking only in monetary terms...I'm not trying to insult your boyfriend) could suddenly become very responsible when they are faced with the possibility of someone that they care about (a spouse or child) depending on them, even in a small way.

If I were you I would accept his offer to change, but make sure that he does before the actual wedding takes place. Tell him that you'll only marry him if he shows that he cares about himself and his own financial future as much as he cares about yours (and that of your future hypothetical children).

Hope this helps. Good luck.

Answer 4

No, I wouldn't. If he hasn't straightened out his act by now, marriage won't change him. But, if you don't believe me, then put off marriage for a year. Tell him this issue is important to you and that you'd like to see him increase his savings. Then see what he does. If he learns to budget and cuts expenses, then he's a good bet. If he continues to take vacations, buy expensive things and go to fancy restaurants, then there's your answer, too.

Answer 5

I don't look at the savings account.
It all depends which person you have chemistry with, you'll most likely marry. If you just happen to be attracted to someone for various qualities that are good and his only fault was his financial mishaps, then you'll have to stick with him through the hard times. That's what marriage is. If you are attracted to ambition and independence, then the one you are with might not even be the right person for you.

Answer 6

firstly i would want to know where the money is going! my friend has a similar husband, plenty of income but spends on crap. in the final analysis you will lose. HE WILL NEVER BE WEALTHY, ever. you either need to accept that or get out and make your way in the world on your own - you will do well.Do not sign any documents where you are financially liable, none!

Answer 7

Yeah sure believe him...IF you believe the moon is made of green cheese. I understand WHY he has no savings...He's never HAD to save. YOU have a savings, so again he won't have to save money if he married you...he will simply run through your's. Do you WANT to marry this guy? Then have him sign a prenup that EVERYTHING financially you bring into the marriage is YOUR's and YOUR'S alone and that he is NOT to touch it. See how quickly he signs...

Answer 8

I would, but not in a case like your bf. The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour - if he hasn't smartened up by this age, it isn't going to happen. You'll be carrying him....

Answer 9

All I hear is about financial gain, no love .. doesn't sound like either one of you are ready.

Finances is only about 25% of a marriage.

Answer 10

What you see now is what you will see later on when you marry him. The decision can only be yours, but if it was me!, I would be saying no thank you and moving on.