If you are a teacher, What do you do if a Student ( male) winks at you ?

Question

What do you do if you are a 25 year old female temporary substitute teacher in a high school and

1) A 16 year old student winks at you. Can he be taken in for disciplinary action or a stern warning ?

ii) A 14- year old male student tells you that , " Teacher, you are even more beautiful than my girlfriend.". What is his intention and that exactly is that statement suppose to mean.

Can both actions by these students be taken as a light joke, or are they liable for disciplinary action since I am their teacher. And what sort of disciplinary action ? Stern warning ?
Detention ? Suspension?

Is there a set of rules or a code of conduct that teachers and students must obey when it comes to stuff like this in a public school workplace environment?

Actually , I do get a lot of comments from my Students, such as " Teacher you are beautiful,", or
"Teacher , you have beautiful eyes " and so on, from both boys and girls and I usually thank them, but for this 14 year old boy to go to the extent of comparing me to his girlfriend, I feel there is something between the lines and its gone too far.

Answer 1

I am apparently a good looking 30s male teacher & have some of the same problems. I teach high school and I know these girls know better. So I have basically three choices:

1. warning/discipline
2. ignore it
3. lightly embarrass them in front of their peers

I know that all the so called 'experts' like Wong and all them say go for #1 & 2. But I feel they are out of touch with today's youth which places more importance on peer influence than family than ever before.

So I choose #3.

For example: When I accidently bring more attention to myself than I should like bend over to pick up an eraser I dropped or what ever and some girl woots or whistles I'll say as a general statement something like "Sorry, I don't feel the same way" or "If someone was concentrating on their work more they might have an 'A' by now". And something of that kind is usually enough to get the class to laugh at them & stop their silly behavior.

Also what helps is to talk a little about yourself & your significant other. If you don't have one, get one, or make one up.

So every now and then I'll just talk about my wife and how beautiful she is and how long we have been together & that will usually keep the comments down for a while until I have to try one of my methoda again.

The whole point is there CANNOT be anyone, student or teacher, or whoever, who thinks that your are interested or not doing enough to keep them disinterested or there can be a whole lot of crapola hitting the fanola.

Answer 2

schools usually have their handbooks - where guidelines and policies of some issues regarding behavior of students are explicitly discussed.. you might want to look it up. these are legal matters you're asking. you might get sued for giving them a suspension.. actually, the power to suspend is that of the administration.. there's always an S.O.P.

to guide the teachers on they're supposed to behave, there's also the CODE OF ETHICS for teachers... particularly this thing regarding teacher-student relationship.. (but,.. since you dont have anything other than teacher-student relationship, then there's really nothing serious)

when deciding something, always consult the BOOKS..

the student just winked at you,?.. sometimes, they're just teasing. if they tell you you're beautiful, take it as a compliment..

however, if you observe that they are doing this ALL the time,.. there might be something more serious.. or they're just SERIOUSLY teasing you..

sometimes, students just cant think anything to do, other than create foolishness.

dont be too quick to assume.. or judge.

observe first,.. if recurring, consult head teacher. or,.. if it can be controlled @ the classroom level, please do so.. confront student first.. consult the books, documents.. this are your back-ups.. (just in case)

Answer 3

Every school is a little different.. if your school is a no tolerance school for example, then there could be some serious consequences for those boys doing those things.

It is best for you to check with your school administration and find out specifically what their policy is, and if they are no tolerance or what..

But aside from that.. these boys obviously made you feel uncomfortable.. and there are reasons for that.. now days with these teachers having flings with their male students.. well a teacher can't be too careful.

For the boy that winked.. first off, winking isn't necessarily flirting.. it could be.. but sometimes people do it for fun. For me, I joke around and wink after I tell a joke.. that's me.. sometimes I wink at someone just to make them smile.. so to me, it's hard to translate winking in to just plain out flirting.. it may not be.. so that one, I'd let it go. Unless he came back and started to flirt verbally with you, or give you other cues (ie licking his lips, giving you a hug, checking you out cleavage wise.. ).. that kinda stuff.. I'd just let the winking go... unless he did something more..

If it really bothered you, you could pull him off to the side, and explain to him how winking could be misinterpreted.. and let him know the schools policy as far as coming on to your teacher.. and that winking can be interpreted as such. But even a conversation like that, could start talk that you don't even want to deal with. So it's really better to let the winking slide.. it was probably innocent.

Now, the 14 year old.. saying you're more beautiful than his girlfriend.. that is a come on.. and it's inappropriate for him to make that sort of comment to you. So that child I would check with the administration and see what the policy is for that sort of thing.. and then depending on their policies, and how you took the comment, etc... I'd give him at least a conversation, explaining why it was wrong for him to say that, and what the consequences are if he keeps that nonsense up.. or deliver the message with a simple detention.

The bottom line, it doesn't show respect for him to talk to you that way.. even if he's joking.. or showing off.. or whatever.. it may not be an actual come on.. but it doesn't show respect.. and it being shouted like that.. and you not doing anything.. kinda validates that it's okay to disrespect you.. that you'll tolerate it.

So all in all.. it's a matter of respect. So when you talk to these boys.. instead of terming it as sexual harrassment of a teacher.. (which doesn't exist in the law yet, but probably will be soon).. or coming on to you.. etc.. term it as not showing respect to a teacher.

But bottom line is.. since you are a sub.. talk to the highschool administration and find out the policy on it and go from there.

Good Luck !

Answer 4

A wink says a variety of of issues it really is a playful element with out harm meant so do not over react. If he begins desirous to affix up with you after college or something that is very different and no unacceptable behaviour must be tolerated by ability of anybody yet loosen up I say in basic terms being pleasant straightforward going might want to you actually a cranky previous guy helling at you treating you want crap?

Answer 5

Most schools/districts now have sexual harassment policies -- check with the office where you're working.

If it were me, I'd ask the 16 year old if he had an eye problem or a twitch. If he had the guts to flirt after that I'd tell him that sexual harassment is a crime and offer to get him a copy of the school policy (if there is one).

The 14 year old -- I'd thank him for the compliment, tell him that his girlfriend should dump him for being so rude and then offer him the same school policy.

Answer 6

Winking isn't a very serious crime.. did he leer at you or just wink?

And just tell the 14 yo that its not appropriate.

Don't just the gun to punish the kids, my guess is that you are being over sensitive as most 14-16 yo boys would be too embarrassed to say things like that or make advances... if one of them is particularly lecherous, say something to someone like the principle and ask their advice.

Really, if you are a teacher, seek help from other teachers, not just yahoo answers for something like that.

Frankly that you would ask yahoo answers... "Is there a set of rules or a code of conduct that teachers and students must obey when it comes to stuff like this in a public school workplace environment?" is kind of upsetting... I would hope our teachers would know the answer to that.

Also, I don't really believe you, I think you are ugly and making this up... because if you were hot enough to make young teen boys to make comments or leer at you in a class room, then you have had people staring at you for a long time and know how to deal with it... there is no chance that a bunch of boys would be really flirting with you if you didn't either give off some signs that you had a lot of exp flirting, in which case you know what to do... otherwise you would have to be ugly, and just wish they were taunting you.

Answer 7

1. Do not acknowledge the wink in anyway. Ignore it.

2. Thank the student for the compliment and then immediately change the subject to some school-related topic.

High school dudes often do dumb stuff. Their behavior in the dumb department should never be encouraged. Always divert attention away from yourself and to the subject matter at hand or to some school-related topic.

Answer 8

OK, these are CHILDREN trying to be adults. Ask the student, "I noticed your wink. What were you trying to say?" Even if the CHILD denys it, you can explain that IF someone were to wink, it could be seen as an inappropriate attempt at flirting and would result in, at least, a parent conference and discussion of how to communicate with members of the opposite sex. I have never met a child who wants to discuss their "game" in front of their parents.

Answer 9

Probably take aside and explain sternly that its inappropriate conduct even in the lighter sense and should not be repeated. If it happens again, then disciplinary action is justified.

Answer 10

Unfortunately, students try to abuse subs (I subbed for 4 years)....it almost goes with the territory and it sounds like these students are trying to see if they can fluster you. I have to agree that a simple, "That is an inappropriate comment." and continue working without emotion and with authority--would be my first choice of action. I doubt if those comments would continue.