should i tell my hubby?

Question

A guy i used to be intimate with just sent me a message via myspace. I havent talked to him in years becuz my hubby despises him (long story). Should i tell hubby he sent me a message or just tell the guy not to contact me anymore and leave it at that....?

no, he's not a guy i cheated on my hubby with, we were sex partners until i started dating my husband. They almost got into a fight once cuz they guy wouldnt stop calling me...but its been almost 6 years...im afraid if i tell hubby he will start doubting me..if i dont and he finds out it will be an even bigger problem....AAAAGHH!!!

aww man...u all just made it harder to decide..both sides have very valid points..

Answer 1

Even though this guy contacted you .. what would your husband think if somehow he discovered that this guy contacted you on myspace .. and you never told him?

I bet his imagination would run wild. Your's would, too .. if it were an ex girlfriend of his.

You could first tell the guy not to contact you any more. Then tell your husband, in a way where it does not seem to hold any importance, about the contact - and that you told the guy to go away. Then .. kinda act unconcerned.

At least you would not have kept anything from your husband.

Answer 2

I am married and my husband cant stand my ex. I mean really hate him. I dont think you should tell him because then he will wonder how did he know that you had a my space. he probley would think that you guys have talked before then and you are telling him this now because he could find out if he knew how to get into you conversations on myspace. You might be opening up a something that you really dont want to. Tell that guy never contact you again. Give him the knight in shining armer story even if it isnt true. So, if your husband does find the coversation he will have no doubt about ur relationship and know that you handled it.

Answer 3

Personally I would probably tell the guy to back off, since your "hubby" has a violent history with him..and I would make sure to tell the guy that as well....and then on top of it, if you don't want secrets, because that just complicates sh*t....Then you tell your "hubby" that you got a message on Myspace and you told the guy to leave you alone... and I would also cancel that myspace and let "hubby" know you canceled it...

Answer 4

Tell your husband the guy sent you a message AND tell the guy to leave you alone. The same exact scenario happened to me. I mean the exact thing and I did not tell my husband and he found out and MY GOSH you would have thought that I had literally had an affair. My husband said he felt hurt and betrayed by me not telling him that this pr*ck contacted me and we went through a hard time for a couple weeks about this. So, just tell him that he found you and commented you and that you took care of it, blocked him from messaging you and asked him to not contact you again. You need to tell this guy that it would cause toomany marital issues for you to correspond with him so it was nice of him to contact you and it was nice to hear from an OLD FRIEND, but it would be best if he did not contact you again. This is the right thing to do. I wish I would've told my husband. I did not tell him out of fear of making him worry that this guy was pursuing me and by me not telling him it made him doubt me when he really had no reason to doubt me. Just never plant a reason for doubt and there won't be any and I learned that the hard way. SOOOOO, tell hubby and tell the guy not to contact you again. Your husband will appraciate it so much. Trust me. My husband still brings up our incident sometimes and I just wish Iwould have told him when it happened. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Well, if you have no plans to continue to talk with this person, it's better to just ignore him and then forget it ever happened. Telling your husband is up to you; I certainly can't tell you what to do. On one hand, if you told the old boyfriend to take a hike, then if you tell your husband you can say truthfully, "Nothing is going on. I was just telling you to be honest." However, he may still get angry since he hates this guy. On the other hand, if you tell this guy to screw off and then never tell your husband so he doesn't get mad, who did you hurt? This is a tricky one. Only you would know what your husband will do.
If I were you, if you love your man, I wouldn't even respond to the other guy at all. He'll get the message eventually.

Answer 6

Don't even send a message back to the guy. Put him on ignore, and change your myspace to private if you have to. I'm not sure it would be wise to tell hubby, since it might irritate him.

Answer 7

Do both, tell your husband and tell the guy not to contact you anymore. Maybe even let your husband see what you have written. Let Husband know you are telling him about this so he will know what is going on and so he will not feel you are doing anything under handed.

I think it is always best to be as upfront with your spouse as possible. Then you do not have to worry about someone stumbling onto something that looks like something it is not.

Answer 8

Just ignore the guy. If he doesn't get the message and leave you alone, then tell hubby.

Answer 9

No, no need to tell hubby now. Send him a message and tell him your not interested that your married, If he contacts you again, then you may want to tell your hubby.

Answer 10

Telling your husband would be because....sorry, I cannot find any good reason to tell him. You cannot control what other people do to contact you, but you sure CAN put a stop to it once they invade your space. Tell the guy you are happily married, wish him well, and ask him to please not contact you.
Done, taken care of, no problem.