I take care of my 76 year old grandmother. She is recovering from cancer and has Alzheimer's. Though I am her primary caretaker, my uncle has POA. I am now pregnant, working, and live in a cold climate - I'm afraid I can't take care of my grandma properly through the winter. Recently, I took her to the eye doctor and she was given 2 eye drop Rxs, to be taken 3 times a day. I told my uncle I could not be there 3 times every day, so his solution was to just not give her the drops at all!
Recently, someone suggested I contact a council for the aged and they will take over care (take over SS, pensions, sell my Grandma's house and place her in a home). I feel a nursing home could be good for her - at least she will get her meds and be clean (she is taller than me and gets violent when I bathe her).
Is anyone familiar with councils for the aged? Has anyone had a similar ordeal? Any stories/advice will be appreciated.
Thanks
2007-11-17 16:06:30 · 9 answers · asked by DSL 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
In the nursing home she will get her meds and be bathed once a week. No one will take her for activities, wipe her butt properly, make sure her clothes match or be her advocate for good nutrition or health care. It is a last resort!
Her doctor can write an order for a home health aide to come and bathe her for a period of time which would be covered by medicare in the USA.
Depending on where you live, there are different state and local agencies that provide help, respite or legal services for the elderly. Your states Department of Health and Human Services would be a place to start. They can steer you to other agencies in the area. Also , your local hospital should have social workers and discharge planners that help people arrange for home care and can give you a list of places they recommend. Going to court to gain POA (use your state's attorneys office for free counsel) is another option so you can use her finances to help in her care.
Don't give up! She cannot choose for herself any longer and it should be someone that loves and cares about her welfare that decides what will happen next.
2007-11-17 16:48:13 · answer #1 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 5⤊ 2⤋
I don't know where you are, but I'm in the U.S.
Mind you, I'm an advocate of keeping the Senior in the home until it becomes apparent that they need a Skilled Nursing Facility and I believe that your Grandmother does, and I'll tell you exactly why.
Aside from the fact that your Uncle has made the unwise decision not to make sure that she gets her medications when they are due (the eye drops are medication), she has Alzheimers and she's showing signs of combativeness when you bathe her. I can tell you from experience that this will worsen and you very possibly could get hurt, and it could be severely. You're pregnant and this must be avoided for you and your baby. By the way, your Uncle's decision regarding the eye drops could be construed as abuse.
If you are having to bathe your Grandmother, that tells me she has lost one of her activities of daily living, that being the ability to bathe herself willingly. Has she lost any others such as brushing her teeth, toileting, dressing herself, grooming, meal preparation, cleaning for herself. This would indicate that she needs Skilled Nursing. Aside from all of this, her dementia may need more careful monitoring. Some people go into this at a slow rate, and some speed up as they go through the different stages. This can be dangerous to those around them if they become more combative.
In Home Healthcare has it's place, but after a while, the Skilled Nursing Facility is the only answer, unless you happen to be wealthy and can afford 24 hour In Home Healthcare. Mind you, I was a hands-on caregiver for 43 years and have recruited for In Home Healthcare in my working life.
If you are in the U.S. call the Agency on Aging National Hotline at 1-800-510-2020. Your call will be directed to the office nearest you. They have Case Managers there that will be able to assess and help with this situation. They're good at what they do. This is quite a viable solution for you. Don't be afraid to research it and get all of your questions answered.
Good Luck and thank you so much for your caring attitude for your Grandmother.
2007-11-18 02:25:25 · answer #2 · answered by Cranky 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
If you will call Aging and Adult Protective Services, they will send someone to check out your grandmother, her living situation and determine how to help her. It does not always involve having her leave her home. In the event that she does need to live in a facility, there are some assisted living facilities that specialize in dementia care. These are much better than a nursing home. Activities are geared for folks with a dementia. Staff are given special training to deal with residents who have Alzheimer's.
You have been so great to take care of your grandma this long and to be concerned about her future.
In the event she needs a true skilled nursing home in the future: not all homes are created equal. It takes some research, visiting especially at mealtimes and checking the state survey findings to select one that provides adequate care.
You may be able to find a doctor who specializes in dementia. These specialists can assist with assessing which, if any, medications may help your grandmother be more comfortable and less combative. She will be able to accept care if she is not combative and she will feel better too. There are some good medications out these days. They do not put people to sleep nor should they contribute to any declines in her ability to function. Her dementia will progress so that she will experience decline in ability to function in all areas as time passes.
2007-11-18 02:45:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You might me taking care of your grandmother but sad to say, your uncle really has the last say in what happens with her as he has POA on her.
Don't put her in a nursing home please. I have worked at one and that is no place to put her. They will see to it that she does get her meds when she should but that is about it. If she is lucky she will get her bath once a week.
Talk to her doctor and see if he will get an aid to come in and give her meds to her when you can't be there.
I don't understand why the uncle has POA on her and you are the one taking care of her. In every case that I have seen, it is the one that has the POA that takes care of the person. I have POA on my parents and I am the one that cares for them.
2007-11-18 08:57:41 · answer #4 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the suggestions from Cranky and Lacey G. I'd only like to add that it is important for you to speak to any caseworker who may come to evaluate your grandmother-since you have been caring for her, you will likely have some information that your Uncle doesn't have. Whether your grandmother gets in home care or moves to a nursing it is very important that you, and other family members, visit her often and also vary the day and times of your visits.
Good luck and best wishes to you!
2007-11-18 06:11:27 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about councils for the aged, but there are many organizations out there whose purpose is to help those in situations like yours. Home health might be an option (that's what my daughter does)-A nursing home should probably be your last resort unless she can't get care in her home. Look up on the Internet for services for the aged in your area or contact the United Way or a home health care service. There are many out there who would be more than happy to help you. Good Luck
2007-11-18 00:20:11 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Laws vary: in Michigan I went through social services to set my mom up for a nursing home (the situation was bacically the same) -- she didn't have to sell here home or car and could have $2000 in cash (which don't last long when you pay her insurances and taxes). She was allowed to keep $30 a month from her retirement check the rest of her check was
surrender Social Services and they picked up the rest of the tab -- Mom was in very good quality home attached to the hospital
2007-11-18 18:22:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
as a caregiver myself i have some understanding of what its like.From what you said .Her condition will indeed worsen with time.Iwork in a nursing home so ive seen what it does to familys. Your safety and the safety ofyourfamily needs to be cosidered. The Dr.canbe an excellant scourse of help.Dont forgetto take care of yourself.
2007-11-19 23:47:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are pregnant now and don't need to be fighting to bath her or the stress of wondering if she is eating well or what ever.
You need to get help.
2007-11-21 20:49:36 · answer #9 · answered by K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋