Here is my problem?

Question

my live in boyfriend has been spending more and more time with the T.V. and not enough time with me. We have been together for 4 years but living together for 3 and it seems as if the romance is only in our relationship if I bring it our complain about the lack of it.

I don't want to become those type of women that nag but I have been communicating how I feel and he agrees that he is wrong and that he will work on this "problem" but after a week of correcting himself he'll just go right back into his routine.

Any suggestions, ideas or should I just end this relationship and save us both the headaches that seem to be arising out of this "problem"

Answer 1

Here's the thing that women don't understand...Guys are very very simple creatures....They don't get into the complicated communication factor of trying to analyze everything about a relationship....We don't ask other guys what it means when our girlfriend/wife goes to lunch with their friends, talks on yahoo answers, watches desparate housewifes or shopping....As long as we don't think you are cheating....Hey the relationship is great....

Most of the time we don't even know we are doing anything to upset you...We look at it like..."I was just watching TV...where is the hostility coming from"...Then you all have to explain your emotional needs...and then we get it....for about a week, maybe two.....The sad fact is, guys really are like dogs...but not in the negative sense...like "all guys cheat"....No it's more like we get comfortable with our home, with our surroundings, with doing/watching the same kind of things.. and if we can get a belly rub while watching football, then hey we are in heaven.... Here is what you have to understand some guys really like hunting, fishing, racing, football, soccer, basketball, baseball, bowling, golf, etc etc...You see a patern here...Sports..and what do all sports have...they are repetative in nature...You do the same thing every time you play...That's why we like it....Women on the other hand, like more variety, like newness and excitment and less repetative things....i.e...."what are we going to do tonight...I want to do something different, what can we do"....Man's response..."I don't know, you wanna go where we went last week?"....Yeah, you get....So, what I'm saying is if you love this guy and he is honest, trustworthy, hardworking, sincere and not abusive...Then you have a pretty decent guy.

Answer 2

Hello,

You called that a boyfriend, but seems like you guys are married. To me and I might be wrong you like it like that so you can keep the romance going...you think if you get married that the romance will be gone. I think it did not go anywhere....I is still there but after the long time spent together people start to relax...his outlet is TV.

It should not be addressed as a problem, you should find some interest of your own, and have dates with him, then at your date, you can romance and look forward to things...at home, he must be at home and you must be doing other hobbies...if it is not TV. The more you tell him, it is a problem, the more he will try to do it as he will start to see as a non fun person, since watching tv is fun to him.

If you think he is going to be romantic all the time and start to recognize all his activities away from you as "problems" your relationship will not last the way you want it to be. You should have your life, he should have his...and then you should have your section...


good luck

Answer 3

You are beyond the initial romance and where your "wedded" relationship is/will remain. As others have pointed out you can spice things up but it may be a waste of your time. You are not going to change him.

If you like him this way for the long run hang around otherwise get used to the idea of change and move on. You have learned much in this relationship that should help you in your next one.

Have fun and enjoy life.

Answer 4

After 4 years you should at least give him one more chance, but don't let hiiim know. Try breaking up both of your routines, play a game, go for a walk, go away on a weekend or couple day trips...just as long as you are spending time together and it is something different than your normal day actions. If he goes back to the TV vegetation then get rid of him. FAST

Answer 5

As a girl living with her boyfriend of 6 years, living together 4, you need some spice. He likes TV, you two should find some shows you like together; but he should also reach out and do things you like...if that doesn't work, maybe you're just not happy and it's time to move on.

Answer 6

He might try a different type of shaving gel, some of them are designed to help soften up the stubble. Of course that is usually for the shave itself. Over time I would think your skin will become used to the abrasive nature of his chin. A lotion on your skin before making out might help also. Perhaps he could grow a goatee or a beard. Long facial hair does tend to be softer.

Answer 7

At my house we decided on a tv free day. There were protests, but worked out well in the end. It guarantees some together time that doesn't include the tv.

Answer 8

Girl, go with your instink. Women are usually right about almost everything. Try to balance the do's and don't and If you feel you need to end this relationship you do it without getting hurt. We have to have limit even for a relationship. Good luck.

Answer 9

You either love him for who he is or leave him. He's not going to change. Perhaps you should quit trying to "communicate", guys hate talking about the relationship, and just go sit in his lap and watch tv with him.

Answer 10

after 3 years of getting the "milk" for free, he's not doing anything to further your relationship. cut him loose. I'd talk to him, and tell him what you want out of the relationship.