My wife spending problem?

Question

IM gonna get straight to the point my wife today saturday went to Six Flags theme park with an old friend of hers, she didnt have to pay and we only have or should I say had 100 dollars to our name, I told her before she left this morning with her friend to only buy food, nothing for a ride or anything else. Not only that but the gas on the car was nearly empty and we also have to buy groceries for the week. So Im checking up throughout the day to see what she has bought cause she has a problem of spending and not even looking or knowing how much money is in the bank. So anyway 4 hours later I get an email through my pda saying that our account is negative, reason being is I took 50 dollars out of checking and put it in savings just in case this would happen. She ended buying a ticket to get on these ride. 2 rides at 25 dollars each. So I call her frustrated and ask her what did she spend the money on she told me "ON FOOD!!!" I said theres no way in hell u spent that on food so then...

so then she confessed and said she bought tickets for some rides. I told her why and that I was pissed off because she spent in a total amount of 60 dollars and the account went in to negative -10.00 so I had to take money our from the saving and put it in replenish it. now were stuck with 40 dollars we need gas and grocery. I got really upset at her and she told me that I work hard why is it a problem for me to go on these rides. I told her u already got a free ticket to six flags and on top of that u spend 50 dollars on 2 rides, and u lied to me talking about I spent it on food. She told me that I was blowing it out of proportion and that she give me access to her account in which my checks get deposited in which lol I look after on a daily basis. I got really pissed off with her and told her she was unresponsible and was acting like a teenager. IS IT WRONG FOR ME TO BE UPSET when we need a full tank of gas to last the week also groceries. there litterally is nothing in the fridge!!!

IM NOT NORMALLY BROKE ITS JUST THIS WEEK SHE HAS GOTTEN 2 TICKETS ON THE CAR, WE GOTTA PAY FOR HER TUITION FOR GOING BACK TO COLLEGE AND U GOTTA DO THAT ASAP IN THE MONTH OF NOVEMBER, SHE TALKS TO ME AS IF SHE IS A SINGLE PERSON. I TOULD HER U SHOULDNT TALK TO ME LIKE THAT BECAUSE WE ARE A MARRIED COUPLE WHICH MEANS EVERYTHING WHICH IS HERS IS MINE AND VICE VERSA. I JUST DONT GET WHY SHE SAYS THAT IM TREATING HER LIKE A TEENAGER, OR BEING CONTROLLING WHICH IM NOT IM JUST TRYING TO LET HER KNOW WHAT SHE DID WAS NOT COOL AT ALL, AND THAT SHE NEEDS TO BE RESPONSIBLE

OUR MONTHLY INCOME IS AROUND 4.5k, man lol you people just dont know how she is with spending and no there is nothing else going on with our relationship other then this. Everytime I tell you need to watch what u spend, do it wisely, its like it goes into the ear and out the other.

Answer 1

If your wife is bad at managing money you should separate your accounts. You have one account and she has her own, that way if she puts her account into the negative it will not effect the money you have set aside for living expenses. If your wife is unemployed then you can give her money to put in her account every month and when that money is gone she is done for the month.
Your wife seems to be a very selfish person if she would spend the last $100.00 you have set aside for food and gas on herself to go have fun with a friend, but you can't blame it all on her, you should of been man enough to tell her "I don't think you should go, because we do not have the money" and she should of been adult enough to say "your right".
If she still insisted on going, then you should of taken all of the money out of the account.

Answer 2

You really need to talk to her about this and give her a spending limit a month you two need to sit down work out how much money you need per month for rent food car payment gas and so on. And any money left over save aprox. 40% of that and than split the rest up. If there is only $15 left each than that is all you have pay your bills on pay day. I too have a spending problem and thats what I find I have to do. We only get paid every other week so in one pay check we pay the car, the rent, and Geiko. Than on the next payday I pay Electric, Gas, Tv, Verizon and Credit Cards. Than some weeks we only have as little as $200 each left. And as for gas take a set amount out and put it on a gas card, These you can get from Shell or Wal-mart or where ever you get yoru gas. We do the same with groceries set amount on a wal-mart card for food. on payday we just put like $200 on the food card and than $100 on my gas and $100 on my husbands. This was the only way we could start a savings account. I hope this helps sometimes someone just needs to take controll of the situation.Money can lead to divorce.

Also check out Microsoft Money it will help you see how much you spend on stupid stuff with pie grafts and you can get for as little as$20 at wal-mart and a free trial at microsoft.com

Answer 3

A conservative vs a free spender. I feel the your pains. I was there, am struggling but things are looking better now. I know you love her. But you have to be a man and stand up to protect your interest rather than letting her drain you. Love sometime take hard decision. One of them is having your own account. Manage you finances alone although she may be required to let you know what is need at home. If you don't have it, you don't have it. Secondly budgeting is a problem here especially her. She doesn't not plan a head of time. She ought to understand that leisure come after hardship. If she put leisure before hardship, man you will have a long way to go and eventually it may lead to separation.
I was there. My total household expenses were only $1400.00/month and I earned more than $3500.00/month. While am out there struggling to met my goals, she was busy with fast food, top class mistress etc and when I come, nothing was there to eat. I had to cook. Gas was killing my pocket. each day at least $30.00 and the more I complained the more she did it. I though I had almost $8000.00 in saving only to be shocked that its $800.00 left. We talked and when I thought I had $6000.00, only to be suprised its was less than $600.00. I closed the account. Yet still that was not enough. I bought food at home to last us a month, she would give it out to her family members and withing week, I ended up doing grocery. The more I complained, the more she took revenge in one way or another and keep on threatening me to divorce. Man I gave it up and told her its was O V E R. She began turning the table round asking for forgiveness, H E L L no and I meant it. Now I do what I want knowing that she is my ex although still she is staying with me claiming she has no where to go. Sometimes you have to make hard decision and stick to them

Answer 4

you both knew you had 100 dollars to make it through the week so six flags should have not been on the list of things to do. you know that your wife cannot manage money so you should have took that 100 dollars bought food and filled up your car and told her there is no money for six flags and if she wanted to go anyway she would have went without access to the money to make through the week with. your wife is the type of person that lives for the moment and next week she will be hungry without gas. you have to take control of the situation. Keep your joint account but get your own account and deal with money through that something she doesn't have access to and if she don't have money give her what she need until she can learn how to manage money

Answer 5

You two need to sit down and have a talk. If you cannot work out the financial issues, your relationship may just fall apart. She is not being responsible, but are there other issues going on? She is also affected by there being so little money. Does she work? She needs to be working if she intends to spend more than you make. Then, each of you should have a certain amount of spending money which you can spend any way you like. The rest goes into the pot for family expenses.

Answer 6

This is one of the things that happen in marriage. Couples will each have their own strengths and weakness. Working out the differences and finding mutual solutions is what will build the strength in your relationship and in each individual's character.

You may be so intense because you don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. Like a vicious cycle, it keeps happening, you get angry, she gets defensive, nothing changes and it's just a matter of time before it repeats again.

If you are able to keep a conversation civil without anger you may find that you both want the same thing. Better money managing skills can be achieved.

Try to come up with a plan of action for improvement and stick to it like clue. If this is your strength she may come to appreciate it and in the long run you may discover new strengths in her.

Keep it real, loving and productive. Good Luck

Answer 7

You need to take control of her before she puts both of you on the street. She has a sickness, she is a shopaholic and there are programs for that disorder just like with alcohol and gambling. One, have two SEPARATE accounts; one for both of you and one that is ONLY yours and that she has no access to at all. Keep a set amount in the joint one and when that's gone, it's gone until the next molnth. In other words, pur her okn an allowance and when the account gets overdrawn she gets no money beyond basics, food, etc.
NEVER have a joint account, this always happens, esp with someone who is already out of control. What she spends the money on doesn't matter, it is the spending itself and the amounts that display her sickness and inablity to have common sense and good judgment.
So focus on getting your OWN PRIVATE account and keep the one for her to use...and remember when she overdraws, that's it. No more money for the rest of the month.
She is a liar as well so never even bother to ask what she spends the money on because you won't know until you see the bank statement.
She MUST be accountable and she MUST look EVERY day and keep track of her spending; you MUST make her AWARE of EVERY dollar.

Answer 8

1.Get a separate account where all your income goes to.
2.Give her an allowance (for gas,groceries, household things - $100 a week)
3.Don't have children yet

YOU must take control of the situation. Once she is able to manage her allowance then MAYBE she is ready for handling all the money again.

She obviously was never taught financial management so that is your job now to teach her or your marriage and life will go down the drain. Unfortunately, our lives are run by money and not having enough of it can be extremely detrimental.

Answer 9

Ok...don't know much about married people but just speaking in general....if you are the responsible one with money matters you will have to take the bull by the horns so to speak and handle this situation....She has a problem, you know it but does she know it....she had no business going to Six Flags anyway...her thinking is a little out of balance. If she was asking your permission, you shouldn't have given it....She will resent you at first...but be willing to take a little heat for financial security...somebody created this monster and you don't need to help feed it....be firm but gentle...she's living in denial....and it comes from somewhere....what changed or did you see this at first..think about the changes you'll have to make as well....get some Godly counsel on this....this is the prime reason marriages break up.....money....one's a spender another a saver with no meeting of the minds....take action and handle this.....

Answer 10

I would be upset too......go to the cash in the envelope system and take away ALL cards, checks etc. Well, first sit down with her, go over all the money that comes in, all the bills....do an average of the last three months for all bills. Be sure to include a little 'mad' money in the mix.

Label each envelope and figure out how much weekly goes into each one, cash your check and put the money in the envelopes.....when the money in the envelope runs out.....It's done....no borrowing from other envelopes or you can't pay the other bills.