I love my husband with all of my heart, but i openly admit I fell for someone else.The chemistry was soooo strong, he pulled me aside one evening and told me his feelings for me (we have known each other for 5 yrs),he also took every oppertunity he could, to make me aware of how he feels and I was so confused, it turned my head around. This bloke lives and works locally, so i have done everything I possibly can to avoid him for last few months, as i cant act on any stupid feelings. And I would never risk losing my husband, but why the hell did it happen in first place? I love my hub so much, we have great life. Angry with myself that this bloke made me feel this way. Beat myself up about it each day, as i feel as though i betrayed my gorgeous, lovin darlin of a husband. I would never of acted on it, so why cant I forgive myself????
2007-11-17 10:28:00 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
your angry at your feelings - the fact that youve considered it
and that confuses your sweet brain babe....
remind yourself that you havent actually done anything wrong but think, about it...
clearly your a a very passionate woman, and you need some proper taking care of...
its a shame when husbands dont treat their women as well as the deserve to be treated...
Youre sexy, your cute, and your know you still have it...
show your hubby and see what happens...
otherwise pop by the colesseum after work, and i will give you a few TIPS... you will enjoy that, and theres no need to feel guilty cos its just training...
Max ee Baby
2007-11-18 00:06:43 · answer #1 · answered by Maximus_Decimus_Meridius 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even though you love your husband, maybe things have gotten alittle too routine for you. This guy probably gives you an adrenaline rush that you havent felt in a long time with another person. I think that maybe there is more to you and this guy than you are letting on, and if there isnt I apologize for saying so, but if you love your husband stay away from him as hard as it may be. Take your husband away on a vacation just the 2 of you and do things that you did when u your relationship was still new. Im not saying just a weekend, something like this needs at least a week. Have fun and go all out with him, dont let the vacation be boring. Your enthusiasm will get him going too and you will probably fall in love all over again if your love is as strong as you say it is. Bottom line, you need to get away with your husband for awhile.
2007-11-17 19:08:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We hear comments on emotional cheating......in any long term marriage there is always at some point emotional cheating.........we as humans are not made to be mentally totally monogomous forever. Thing is you have not committed adultery be sure of that and if you are avoiding this guy you know the pitfalls of being in his company. You acknowledge that what you have is good and want to hold onto it so just keep doing what you are doing avoid the other guy spend lots or as much time as possible with your husband and you will then find yourself starting to wonder what all teh fuss was about with the other guy. We are all flattered by the oppertunity to say no....you said no.
Good luck and don't waste any more time and energy on a guilt trip. Get on with living and enjoying the marriage you have invested in.
Good luck
2007-11-18 08:39:00 · answer #3 · answered by eagledreams 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop beating yourself up! Just because you say I do it doesn't mean that all your other senses turn off and you will never notice another man or be attracted sexually to someone else. However, you are right to avoid him if the chemistry is that strong. Keep avoiding him, focus on other things, and the feeling will fade in time. Would you feel the same way about this guy if you lived with him, got to see his dirty undies on the floor, heard him burp and fart, and all the other unglam stuff that goes with marriage? Nope. That's what "it happened". As much as we love our men, dating them is not the same as being married to them and sometimes other men can be more attractive because we don't have to see e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. You may also miss the fun and excitement of "falling in love." It happens. Please forgive yourself and move on before this starts to affect your marriage. And no, your hubby doesn't need to know. I think that would just make him question you when you haven't even cheated on him. Good luck, hon!
2007-11-17 19:27:38 · answer #4 · answered by Apple Tart 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Temptation, Temptation, Temptation.
Do not get sucked up into this guys vortex. He knows what you have with your husband and could very well be jealous.
He might, after he breaks you and your husband up, dump you and walk away laughing because he did it.
I have seen this before happen to a friend. She told me it was the worst thing that ever happened to her and said her husband was the best and she cannot figure out why she became emotionally wrapped up in the other man and acted on it.
If she had to do it over again, she would have told him she took a vow of marriage, she loves her husband, and no one else in the world is able to replace him, and he is definitely a keeper.
Now he is married to someone else and has children. Sometimes she drives by the house and wishes it was her and that she would have never had made that mistake because it could be her in the house with the children and her husband. The last I have heard she has not met anyone else as of yet and is still single, living in her apartment. The man that broke up her marriage wants nothing to do with her, it was just a challenge after all was said and done.
Stay with your husband, you have a ring on your finger, and someone to share the rest of your life with who loves you, otherwise he would not have asked you to marry him.
2007-11-17 19:40:37 · answer #5 · answered by dd 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah thats tough. the first thing u should do is talk to ur husband about this. tell him that u did not do anything wrong and never will but u are having problems. tell him that u love him and do not want to leave him and that he has confused u. u are life partners now. ur problems are his problems too. if u work on it together, u'll feel less guilty and he'll be able to help u.
then, talk to this guy of urs. tell him that u are married and want to stay married. tell him to leave u alone and u dont want problems. if he doesnt listen, move. u have to stay awa from his---as far as possible.
i have to compliment u though, ur situation is not easy and u are doing the right thing. a lot of people are weak and would probably have cheated already. keep up the good work!
2007-11-17 18:35:23 · answer #6 · answered by switbaby9 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are feeling guilty because for this to go this far you did cheat on him, you had an emotional affair with this other man.
You need to take your time and focus only on your husband and you. Only tell him all of your heart. Become reattached to him only. In time the other bond will be broken . Continue to totally avoid the other man do not give one moment for weakness.
Things will work out.
2007-11-17 18:48:38 · answer #7 · answered by quick33118 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it sounds like your on a guilt trip, funny thing why things happen just be gratefully you realised that you are Happy with what you have, perhaps things happen for a reason, perhaps it was a lesson for you , learn from it and move on with your Hubie you know what you got and you know you not going to loose him, be strong forgive yourself, you be laffing at this in few months time, have you told your husband about this, if not don`t keep it to you selfe. some things are better left not said , and if you have told him, i sure he will understand as you know love conquers everything.
2007-11-17 18:39:40 · answer #8 · answered by mr perfect 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Emotionally cheating can be worse than actually doing the deed cause you get your heart involved. The problem is we assume that once we marry we will quit being attracted to people. It's just not true, and all we can do is try to take the high road and do our best not to hurt the people we love. Forgive yourself and be fully present in your husbands arms, its the best we can do.
2007-11-17 19:03:57 · answer #9 · answered by 35 and loving it! 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are your sure you were not sending out overt signals. We do sometimes do that as a Lady. Suggest you take your head out of the sand and speak to this man and tell him that you are happily married and do not want to jeopardise that. Don't take no as an answer
2007-11-17 20:48:02 · answer #10 · answered by Stardust 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋