My soon to be ex-husband has a terrible upbringing. His mother was very mean and abusive. His father would cheat and leave his mother for months at a time. He has 2 brothers in prison. One for rape and one for murder. One brother is a drug dealer who has not been caught yet. I married him knowing all this because I thought he would be different. He cheated on me multiple times after the marriage and later became emotionally and physically abusive towards me. Do you think it has to be with the was he was raised?
2007-11-17 10:17:08 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, it certainly doesn't sound like he was raised in a loving home. Children are like sponges, they absorb everything said around them, so if it's violence they absorb violent behavior, if it's love they absorb loving behavior. Your soon to be ex-husband will never be happy with anyone, nor they with him, until he gets help to deal with the past. He doesn't need to be one of the statistics, when there is so much free help for him.
2007-11-17 10:49:14 · answer #1 · answered by Virginia B (John 16:33) 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It might. It is what he lived when he was growing up. Do not think that everyone that had a bad childhood is bad though. I think that only the weak ones are. The rest of us know right from wrong and are going to rise above how we were raised. I refuse to put my children and my spouse through what went on at my house as a child. I have a few siblings that are drug addicts and one that is in and out of prison all of the time. They blame their childhood for how they are. Just because you have a bad childhood does not mean that you have to live like that forever. It is just easier so the weak and the lazy do it. Good luck to you on your new life.
2007-11-17 10:30:50 · answer #2 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sometimes what a person is exposed to as a child and with his role models does effect who he is later in life. some men are just the opposite and they are the exact opposites of a bad home life. u really need to get out of this family if u expect to ever be happy in life. he obviously did pick up some of the bad traits from his family, but u have a choice now and all u do is leave and don't invest any more into this marriage.
2007-11-17 10:24:55 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Definitely. As the old saying goes, the apple never falls very far from the tree. I loved someone with a really horrific mother. His father is great, but the mother was just the coldest person you can imagine. When he got home from a tour in Vietnam she was at the sink doing dishes and when he walked into the kitchen she kept washing the dishes, never turned around and just said "Welcome home, John." That was it. I never forgot that story; he didn't think much of it but it explained so much about his personality and why I stopped seeing him. He cheated too.
2007-11-17 10:23:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
everyone says yeah he will follow what he has been exposed too but the questions is no matter what your background and up bringing is you choose what you what to do and be in life. you choose the path you want to take whether you want to do good or do bad. In your case he choose the road that leads to trouble not the right path as with his brothers. As time goes on if he do not end up dead he will change once he hit rock bottom. He will realize all his mistakes. But you do what you have to do and get out the relationship and go on with your life.
2007-11-17 10:31:41 · answer #5 · answered by teresa p 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, his behavior definately has to do with his upbringing. Usually, the way you were raised will cause you to act in one of two ways: One reaction is to follow the same path as your parents & choose to view them as "role models." The other reaction would be to do the opposite as the parents, taking their experiences from how their parents lived & using them as their model of what NOT to do. (Either of these reactions could be done in a negative or positive way). It sounds like he is deeply entrenched in his ways & they will be very hard behaviors to break. If possible, try to get him some individual help & then also help for you both as a couple.
2007-11-17 11:33:27 · answer #6 · answered by sunflower 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes it can but he has the power to change that if he wants. He will never change unless he admits it and that is the hardest thing to do he had a bad upbringing but that does not have to rule his life. He has the power he just has to tap into it .
2007-11-17 10:39:52 · answer #7 · answered by Precious1 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yep. My sisters/mother and I were raised in a verbally abusive environment by our dad, we all turned out ok, but he deep down hates himself and his life. His mother (who is deceased) was abusive to him and his sisters. Some might say it's an excuse to act like that, but you it's learned behavior.
2007-11-17 11:40:41 · answer #8 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A BIG possibility. We often imitate what we see and grow up with. Once in a while someone breaks the chain but, they have to recognize the problem before they can do anything about it.
2007-11-17 10:22:21 · answer #9 · answered by Hi its me again 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
At this point it does not matter. You need out of that relationship and the sooner the better. Get moving, hon, before the son of a witch kills ya!
2007-11-17 10:21:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋