I got married at 17 & my husband was 26, he got me a job with hem after a year and everything was great, then we had to move to NY (I worked there as well, but in the office) then I saw hem kissing with this woman & it was terrible for me but we gave it another chance everything starterd to crumble from there, came back & now we started our own business but working together has been so tuff to the point we hate eachother & insults that I cant stand, We are always together 24/7, oohh he gain weight & I'm still the same so i don't feel atractive to hem anymore, he is very loveble and nice, also 2.5 years ago i wanted kids so bad and he didn't, now he wants them & don't feel like it anymore, I told hem i need to see a counselor to help me figure out why do i feel so weird but he said no, that i can talk to hem, that he love's me, but now i'm not so sure i do I always depened on hem for everything it's been 8 years together and I'm not sure what & how to make a decition. Any suggetions?
2007-11-17 10:07:14 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
your seeing him through changed eyes, changed because of what u saw him do with that other woman. u tried but so far it hasn't worked. u need therapy, he can't be controlling and not allow u to get the help u need, he is probably afraid that therapy will make it all clear and he will be the one who looses. the thought of therapy threatens his world. he sees u as someone dependent on him for everything and u seeking therapy shows maybe u do have a mind of your own and he doesn't feel comfortable with that. if u don't love him anymore u need to seek a divorce rather than stay and be tortured.
2007-11-17 10:13:51 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I agree with you that I would absolutely hate feeling controlled and treated more like a kid than a mother and a wife. It's not right. But I worry about you leaving with the two children who are so needy. Have the two of you tried marriage therapy:? It could be a godsend for you; you could express your frustrations and learn better coping strategies, and he could learn how to get his needs met without talking down to you or trying to control you. I think you guys are under so much stress taking care of these very needy children that you['ve forgotten how to communicate with each other in a loving and caring manner. This should all be brought out into the light and dealt with and I am sure you haven't had time nor energy to do that with all that you have to do in a day.. However, you need to learn to set a little time aside for yourselves everyday or at least every other day where you ask each other how you're doing and let each other know you are there and committed to this family. Please, go get some professional help and give yourself a place to vent all the frustrations that have built up over time.
2016-05-24 00:30:54 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like you need some professional counseling. I mean maybe is is that you two have grown apart and your just need to find away to reconnect.
To be honest, if you really are not sure about the relationship, make sure not to bring kids into it, that will just complicate things even more.
Be proud of yourself, to be able to be woman enough to admit that there is a problem. Get some help, talk to someone before you make your final decision. Good Luck
2007-11-17 10:17:07 · answer #3 · answered by sparkling_apple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one on here (my opinion) is qualified to give you advice at that level. This is something that I would definitely suggest you seek counseling, since it will affect the lives of two people. This is serious, and though we here try to help, we are not qualified to make that life altering decision for someone else. You knew the right answer a while back (counseling) before coming here. Go with your opinion since you will be affected with the decision. Keep your head up...and good luck.
2007-11-17 10:16:29 · answer #4 · answered by Ep 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are unsure .. then it's not over.
Get counseling.
A GOOD counselor can help you discover what is going on with yourself.
Also --- you should NOT work together .. that could be a huge part of the problem. You both are seeing too much of each other.
2007-11-17 10:29:11 · answer #5 · answered by Tara 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense, but this is why people shouldn't get married so young. It sounds to me like he doesn't want to put forth the effort to save your marriage, and maybe you're better off without him. That's just me talking, though.
2007-11-17 10:11:16 · answer #6 · answered by Jeff The God Of Biscuits 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, it sounds like you haven't even discovered who you are as an individual, without him. I'm not saying leave him, but you should see a counselor if you want. you should do things that make you happy:)
blessings to you and your bright future
2007-11-17 10:12:22 · answer #7 · answered by starting over 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can seek counseling without his permission. You may want to seek learning, night school. You are an individual person!!!!! You don't have need him to tell you what you can or cannot do!
2007-11-17 10:26:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
be a lady and get the hell out of their and come over here I'm young and single,j/k but its sounds like your missing out on guys like me so go back out their, and start a life you always wanted
2007-11-17 10:13:18 · answer #9 · answered by hank 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well Pinky
that IS a dilemma
if ya don't like him, why don't you just go then
get a office job someplace out maybe
2007-11-17 10:11:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋