my husband left on a trip Friday early morning, we had gotten in a fight Thursday night...he wont answer his phone or return my calls...I am 8.5 months pregnant and don't like the way he has been treating me. The fight was actually more hurtful towards me, so I would think he would be calling me feeling bad, but he hasn't (don't worry, he is okay, his mom has talked to him). I just know that most husbands would check up on their pregnant wives and see if their okay and stuff...I'm so upset, cause I think he is going to just go home right from his trip for Thanksgiving and leave me here a lone for the whole week and not answer his phone or talk to me. I might pack my stuff and go home (different state) but I have a doc. appt. on Weds. so I would have to wait, plus he left his dog...what do you think???
2007-11-17 10:04:50 · 21 answers · asked by elle 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think that he is a jerk. Even if he is mad he should answer his phone since you are pregnant. Does he always treat you like this? If he does it is going to get worse after the baby. Good luck girl.
2007-11-17 10:10:16 · answer #1 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a man myself I know we can be a****. He knows you probably have family or friends that will look out for you. He knows if anything were to go wrong with you he'd receive a call in a heart beat So knowing this, right or wrong he playing with your emotions.
One thing that concerns me is when you said when you two fought it was more hurtful to you then him. Not to justify his actions, I ask you to step back and look at your part in it.
When my wife and I fought a few times I'd use language not even a biker gang would not use(sorry bikers). She always thought she was hurt more by what I said because of the language I used. Even though she didn't use bad language sometimes the things she said cut me like a knife and cut me deep.
I'm sure sooner or later you will talk, when you do don't re ash the old. Just take responsibility for your part and let him be responsible for his.
The two of you should look into some professional help and nip it in the but. Resolve any other problems the two of you might have.
Good luck!
2007-11-17 18:53:18 · answer #2 · answered by Dr. E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no business answering this, but...here it goes. If he does not contact you within the next couple of days, I would suggest counseling to find out what is going on in his life. When you get married (and I have not been), you can not just walk out of the home and return whenever. There are things going on in the relationship that I am not aware of, nor should I be aware of. I am not qualified to make decisions that will affect 2 people (much less 2 people with a baby on the way). Seek someone professional, but I am more than willing to lend an ear anytime you need to talk. In case you can't reach me here: "pistonsrb1@yahoo.com" All the luck in the world to you.
2007-11-17 18:46:55 · answer #3 · answered by Ep 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may just be angry right now . We all do things when we are angry that we normally do not do.
Stop calling him. Don't call him Mom.
If he wants to get in contact with you .. he will.
Consider this a 'red-flag' of things to come in the future .. if he can treat you like this while you are so pregnant. Your baby could come at any time.
I know you would like to go home now .. but do you think it would be wise in your condition? Really - your baby can come at any time. Do you have ANY ONE to help you if your baby should decide to come right now?
I know this would be SO HARD .. and I feel so sorry for you .. but if you could just sit still .. be quiet .. and let thing fall as they fall .. it may tell a story about him. Plus - the trips could be taxing to you, in your condition ... and .. what if something happened to you .. who would be there to help you. If he goes home without you .. and leaves you all alone on Thanksgiving - when you could have the baby at any time .. he is awful. This would say a lot about him. Your & the baby's safety should come first .. no matter how mad he is.
You might consider talking with your Mom and family. You need someone to be there for you.
You are in a predictament right now .. and he is showing his real colors.
Do the SAFE things for you .. and the baby.
Leave him alone .. just let him be. If he goes home without you .. then let him look like a jerk.
JUST TAKE CARE OF YOU .. for now. That is the important thing .. making sure that you and the baby are safe.
2007-11-17 18:21:23 · answer #4 · answered by Tara 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put the dog in a kennel, leave him a note where the dog is.
Pack your stuff, go where you need to go, maybe ask a couple friends to take some of your stuff and put it into a storage unit.
I mean, that's if you think it is serious enough, being that he is acting like a child, has not returned calls... if he doesn't come back for Thanksgiving, I would say if it were me ALL BETS are off that I'd stay in the marriage.
Give yourself and your new child a life that you deserve. :)
2007-11-17 18:48:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he's way out of line given your condition, but there is one sentence you wrote that caught my eye. You said "the fight was more hurtful to me" (than him). Us women have a real tendency to treat men as if they have no feelings, when in fact men are very sensitive.
If he's not calling you his ego must be bruised something fierce. To hurt a man that bad you generally have to do or say something that makes them feel like you think they're not important. In street terms you have to treat them with disrespect. So you might want to reconsider what happened and what was said and done in the last few months wondering if you did or said anything belittling. You also might want to leave him a phone message that says simply "Did I do or say something that made you feel that I don't respect you? If I did will you please call me and explain it to me and I'll try not to do it again."
Now I'm not saying he's right here. He should be there for you no matter how ticked he is at the moment considering your circumstance, but you can't mend fences when you're that far apart. Right now you need to focus on ending these negative emotions between you two and not on who's right or wrong.
Peace & Joy
Robin
2007-11-17 18:24:18 · answer #6 · answered by Duck in the woods 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand fights, but considering you are pregnant with his child I would think he would call! I would leave messages on his phone so you know if you should go home for Thanksgiving rather than stay home by yourself.
2007-11-17 18:20:12 · answer #7 · answered by veronica c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give it time and listen to one another. Don't tel him what he should do in this situation. Let him be his own person and you be your own person. Try not to be so Dependant on his acceptance of things. I'm sure it will work out . these things happen . Call a friend for a shoulder to cry on and try not to call him anymore. I'm sure his phone is full by now.
Take care of yourself first of all. Hope you feel better soon.:)
2007-11-17 18:30:06 · answer #8 · answered by Hi its me again 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that if my wife was 8.5 months along, I wouldn't be spending any more time away from home than I have to. The baby could come at any moment.
2007-11-17 18:12:20 · answer #9 · answered by Nathan S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold tight. My husband told me at 8 months pregnant that if I took the car and it failed to start that I was to pack my bags...I took the car to my mom's and it failed to start...then I walked up to our apt. and proceeded to pack my bags!...It did not go far because he knew what was wrong with the car and chucked the fight to fix the car!
I believe at this age of the pregnancy (seems to go on forever) that the guys get panic pangs about being a father..Ask him...
2007-11-17 18:12:47 · answer #10 · answered by Patches6 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋