I have been with this girl for over 4 years now. I pursued a lot before we fell in love 4 years ago. We always talk about being together and how our family would be.
She always wanted to marry me, but now since last year she has changed the stance and says for her marriage is not that important and she will not die if she not marry me.....
I asked for a pic that can be shown to parents but she does not agree now and says in love marriage photo is not required.
But in our culture and hers it is always needed. She just keeps asking me to wait and I have been waiting for an year. Earlier she said that nobody knows about her in my family .. Her family knows me very well and they know that she is going to marry me. But I don know how to take things forward, she said dont eat my head with all the crap of yours and ask ur parents to wait for antoher 6 months..... earlier it went from March to Sept and then to Nov, then she asked to wait till March 2008, I don know still.
2007-11-17 09:30:49 · 28 answers · asked by anu 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds easy but it is not. Cos she keeps waiting for my calls and get worried equally if we don't talk. She says "she cannot live without me and she will always love me no matter if I don't". This statment is always made when I say I am going to think over it and I don't think she is happy with me anymore. I ask her if she has anyone else in her life she can tell me and I ll let her off. She says no and says that "do you know me only this much"
2007-11-17 09:38:57 · update #1
I can wait forever, but I feel I ll really heart broken if we are not together. Everyone in my circle knows I am going to marry her, and her family also knows that. But she says she s gonna loose her independence with me and not to ever expect that "i ll be everything for her" I would only be given priority over others but she would choose her friends over me anytime
2007-11-17 09:42:19 · update #2
We are far off right now, she says may be that we both are away from last 4 months that why she gets irritated a lot a times and she looks back when we were together and she says we never had problems when we were together......
I love her a lot. Yes I do spend my time at work a lot but all this is before marriage as I need to keep myself preoccupied so keep her thoughts away. We tried not talking for a week but then it were only tears from both the end when we talked..... booked my tickets cos she just said once I need u and don leave me ever... without a second thought I was at her place
2007-11-17 09:47:16 · update #3
Yes indeed she is saving her and lot of debts to clear off before marriage and she feels her parents will be left alone. I am from affluent background and she feels she might not gel with my family. But I always say I am going to support to her full and if she wants we can stay away from my and her parents for while so that we both know what responsibilties marriage brings along....
2007-11-17 09:49:55 · update #4
To add to it, there are some of other friends know about it and they say "we ll do anything for u and we thinks its obvious to meet each other needs". I tell her this also what others say, she asks me what I think. If I say I think they are stupid to say this, she is happy and if I say they are right in a way then I get in trouble .... :(
2007-11-17 09:52:36 · update #5
i think shes not Ready to be compleatly Devoted to you yes she loves you very much but its scary! give her time!
All my best wishes
2007-11-17 09:35:46 · answer #1 · answered by Jessica H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she has changed her mind because she has changed. Meaning that the relationship between you two is different that before and now her priorities have changed.
Gave her time. I mean you have waited four years already what in another two. If she still has not changed her mind, then maybe it is time for you both to go your separate ways.
Maybe you two need to have long heart to heart talk about your relationship and where you both see it going in the future. Good luck and God Bless!
2007-11-17 09:38:13 · answer #2 · answered by sparkling_apple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's my idea: drop the marraige thing for a while, like a long while. In that time get romantic, do what you can to please her, be nice to her, listen to her without telling her what to do, whatever romantic is in your culture, and then one day start ignoring her. Don't leave, just act kind of cold and distant. Do this for a week or two, maybe a month. If she doesn't beg for your attention, leave her, or at least start shopping for a new girl. If she does, ask her to marry you.
Good luck.
2007-11-17 09:42:48 · answer #3 · answered by Porch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everything happens for a reason while u may see this as a rejection right now, later on u may thank god u did not marry her. if marriage is not on her list of priorities u need to move on in life and distance yourself from her, sounds as if she doesn't want to marry u.
2007-11-17 09:39:59 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is the # 1 cause of divorce.
2007-11-17 09:43:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need a break from each other to see if her heart lies purely with you. Just tell her to call you when she knows
2007-11-17 09:36:18 · answer #6 · answered by jennifer h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the way women are when they have a secret. Just don't find the Jerry Springer Show, or worst, Maury Povich calling.
2007-11-17 09:34:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wait untill march and see what happens. If she still wants you to waiy after that, you might just need to find somone else =[
2007-11-17 09:36:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the kind of woman you do NOT want to marry. It's very clear that she does not want to make that committment. I suggest you end this unproductive relationship and find someone else.
2007-11-17 09:35:01 · answer #9 · answered by Richard B 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like she's yanking your crank. Start to get over her. I think the end is in sight.
2007-11-17 09:35:01 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋