My elder sister has just got married and everytime they have a fight with her husband, she keeps calling me about it. She would tell me that she wants to leave her husband and later on she would change her mind..Her husband would tell me that my sister would compare herself to me, coz I have been spoiled by my husband while she's not. I keep telling my sister to be very nice to her husband and spoil him so he will spoil her too, but my sister wont listen to me..
Today, she called me again and said that she wants to leave her husband. I know its not her husband's fault when they have a fight, she is just being immature most of the time. Even for a nonsense reason, she would tell me shes gonna leave her him.
And now Im just stressing. My sister had made so many wrong decisions in life. Ive been hoping that her relationship with her husband will work. Sometimes I just want her to divorce her husband but I know she will just regret it...
2007-11-17 08:45:24 · 16 answers · asked by Ophak 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Her son (from her ex-bf) has learned to love her husband now and her husband even treated her kid as his own son..I've been trying to help my sister realize that she's just gonna regret it if she will divorce her husband.
I think my sister is just a brat. She gets upset if her husband cant give her what she wants and thats the cause for most of their fights.
2007-11-17 08:56:17 · update #1
Sometimes I just think that "I wish she's not my sister..."
2007-11-17 09:06:37 · update #2
I've been giving lots of advice to her but she wont listen to me, thats why I told her this morning that Im not gonna get involved in their fight, and she hanged up on me...I was so mad, thats why I told her that Im not gonna talk to her anymore...And my problem now is, she might not allow me to see her son anymore. I trait her son as my own, since we dont have kids...
2007-11-17 09:13:49 · update #3
tell her u are not a therapist and not equipped to help her solve the marriage problems, but a therapist might be the answer. next time she tells u she is leaving him tell her to go ahead and do it.
2007-11-17 09:53:54 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to be involved in this no matter what threats or arguments or actions might result from your choice to stay out of her mess.
This is her life and she has to make decisions as an adult and not run to her family every time she gets into a fight with her husband and look for solace.
For your own mental health, stay away from her for now even if it means that you won't speak to her for several months, and that's what it's going to take. Family is always family in the end, and if she works on her marriage then she does and you will see it, if not then she will divorce and you will hear about that too. In all cases keep your sanity and wits about you and don't involve yourself in her drama. :)
2007-11-17 19:14:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say i have a sister who sound something like yours. she would call me all the time about her problems and i am the type of person who waited to meet a good man so my husband treats me very well and vis versa. I fianally told her just what I thought about her and her relationship and I was not going to sit and listen to her when i felt she was being wrong. I would listen to the gist of her problem then I just stop her if I feel shes being dumb and tell her i have to go. It didn't take her long to figure out what was going on with out me having to tell her over and over again. It is your sisters relationship and as a sister I know you want to be there for her but it doesn't have to be every fight she has if you don't want it to be.
2007-11-17 17:06:23 · answer #3 · answered by luvstogamble1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time she calls upset about her husband .. sweetly tell her that for personal reasons - you just can't listen to her today - because it will upset you further more.
You can also tell her .. to love him - or - leave him.
Then .. start avoiding answering only 1/2 of her phone calls.
If she still continues .. you may have to sit her down .. and be firm with her. Tell her that this is stressing you out so much that you can hardly stand it. Assure her that you will be there for her .. however - she sends you major stress daily - and you cannot handle the worry all of the time. Tell her that you are her sister - and you love her dearly - but your opinion is definetly on her side ... therefore - she & her husband need to seek counseling from someone who could really help her marriage.
She may pout for awhile .. but she may also reconsider the stress she is initiating.
2007-11-17 16:57:11 · answer #4 · answered by Tara 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your right, she's being immature... but you know what... I've been in her shoes. It's like getting cold feet, but your already married. I would ALWAYS call my little sister to complain about it. One day she said "You don't really sound like your happy with your life" and it woke me up like nothing before. I was complain SO much about the little stupid things that I forgot what having a REAL relationship was about. It's not the little things... its what everything addes up to, the bigger picture.
Just sit her down and tell her to stop comparing herself and her marriage to others... if she keeps doing that, it's going to destroy her marriage. No two marriages are the same and she needs to embrace her marriage before she pushes her husband away.
tell her if she wants to leave, that is her choice... but you care not to hear anymore of that kind of talk unless she needs help packing her bags. Let her know you are there for her, you will always be there but talking about leaving her husband two three times a week is showing a lack of respect for herself and her hubby. Ask her if it's that bad or if things could be worked out...
maybe all she needs is a night out with her man to remember why she married him.
She will grow up, I just hope she wakes up before she's too late.
good luck girl, if you need any more info let me know... like I said, I've been in the SAME place as your sister
2007-11-17 16:59:36 · answer #5 · answered by girl_in707 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You CAN NOT change your sister. You say she's a brat, probably causes the fights?
Next time she calls you, tell her that you are TIRED OF HER!!! Tell her you love her but are TIRED of hearing about her marriage problems. That's it!! So what if she gets mad at you? She's a brat!!! Worry about your own family, girl. Keep your marriage together, take care of your kids.
Leave her alone to screw up her life. she won't listen to you and she'll just try and drag you in the middle of everything.
Leave her alone!!! You allow her to dump on you!
Call Dr. Laura - this is what she'll tell you!!
2007-11-17 17:07:27 · answer #6 · answered by serene e 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you will no longer talk to her about their fights, and she should keep their fights between the two of them and not include you. Then if she calls again, say "Sorry, I'm not getting involved" and hang up.
2007-11-17 16:49:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think it is time that you tell your sister to work out her problems with her husband and to not involve you....
She is stressing you out...and it will eventually affect your marriage....
2007-11-17 16:51:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
explain to your sister to approach the situation in a moremature attitude and although you love her, you
don,t want her calling you all of the time, thus making your
life miserable.
maybe a marriage counselor is the answer.
2007-11-17 16:51:18 · answer #9 · answered by Jerry S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is her husband a good guy? if so, help her realize that! She shouldent throw away somthing good she invested a lot in.
2007-11-17 16:50:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋