should i leave him?

Question

we've been together for two years.im young and in love.we been living together for a year in a half.and now i feel like its a waste...the other day i went through his phone and he had text messages from another girl.aand it was more than a little friendly talking...flirting is what it was.and he's been iving her rides to work and from.i also looked on his calls list and found out that after work he calls her and he dnt ever call me anymore.and on his lunch breaks they been seeing eachother.so i confronted him about it and he said there just friends and he needed someone to talk to.well i always listen to him he should talk to me.not be lying to me over this past two weeks of what he's been doing and who he's been talking to.what do you guys/nd girls think on here.it will mean alot if people responded really

and yeah i guess im a snoop because he wouldnt let me use his phone so i knew he was hiding something.so i thought i deserved to snoop.and the only reason i did read the text was because i picked his phone up to see what time it was and there was a text and i read it and then i read the rest..i love him though dnt i deserve someone that dosnt lie to me right?

Answer 1

Part of me wants to tell you to leave him and another side tells me that you should work through it if the love is truly there, but he has to be willing to make it work. However, if all he's going to do is lie, then i think you should leave him... if he won't come clean he's not seeing anything wrong with the behavior and by staying you will just be telling him that it's OK. I would confront him one more time, calmly and without screaming and yelling and see what his reaction is. If he wants to make it work he needs to own up to his behavior and sincerely be willing to correct it. He needs to stop talking to this girl and cut off all contact, he needs to do whatever it takes to make it work- be it couples counseling, regularly updating you on his whereabouts or whatever to get the trust back. If he's not willing to do that then you have your answer on what you should do and you just need to be strong and do it for your own happiness. You deserve better. Good luck.

Answer 2

Trust is a major part of any successful relationship. If you can't trust him, or don't trust him, then Yes, you should leave him. He should be "into YOU!!" not texting someone else, hanging out at lunch, giving her rides, etc.... Sounds a tad too friendly to me. And if he's doing this now w/ this chick, the likelihood that he'll do it again down the road w/ another chick is very High. Do you really want to feel like you have to "babysit" your Boyfriend/Spouse/sig.Other? What kind of Love is that? find someone who wants YOU more than anything else. Someone who will text You, give you rides, meet you for lunch, chat w/ you on the phone, etc.... You Deserve better. Cut your losses now before you waste anymore time on this fella'!! Good Luck !!!

Answer 3

He needs to completely put this girl out of his life. It seems that she is more than a friend to him.

You could consider this as a 'red flag' about him .. because if he is doing this now .. then it could get worse with him. Guard your heart carefully.

If he is lying to you .. then he is covering up more than you know about.

Tell him your feelings & thoughts. Tell him the girl has to GO. See what his reactions are. When you see his reactions to everything .. you may receive the answers you need .. and also know what you have to do.

Just know .. if he is not being honest .. you cannot make him be honest ... in fact, he may hide things more & more.

I know this breaks your heart. Sometimes the truth is so hard to face ... nonetheless, the truth, is the truth ... and it sounds like he is doing a lot of things that are not great.

Think it our carefully .. and make yourself a plan .. and also a back-up plan of what to do.

Answer 4

Your living together and with that comes a commitment, i would say he is about to cheat if hes not already. Why would he need to have someone else to talk to with you sharing his life. If hes doing that now... call it quits... if you don't sometime in the future you'll be on here asking us about how to get a div asap. I think he has some wild oats to sow and doesn't need to be in a l t r now... what are you waiting on... don't you realize that the longer you stay the more hurting your going to do. You deserve better....

Answer 5

sometimes you dont have to rush in making decisions. People will tell you to leave but i dont think that is the answer.
you need to find out why he doing that, it may be that you are doing something that he doesnt like or there something in the relationship that he doesnt like.

Just find the cause of the problem first before you find its solution. you may leave him and later you will regret that you left him. Take it easy and try and do new things to show that you really care and love him and as time goes on i think he come back. i dont know the cause of the problem but if it is from you, you leave him and go for another man and he will still cheat on.

dont rush in making hope u win ur man back.

Answer 6

Sounds like he has a relationship with this other girl. Sorry, but it is what it is. They spend an awful lot of time together to just be friends. But the most important thing is that it doesn't seem like you trust him, and trust is the basis of a good relationship- so I would say be glad you aren't married to him and move on.

Answer 7

i heard all the same stuff you are hearing now! oh she is just a friend i need someone to talk to. then came the oh I'm going fishing for the weekend and then i found his bank statement and he was not fishing unless they have that at the holiday inn. I'm not saying he is cheating but if i was you i would be out of there if he cant talk to you about everything in his life it is time to move on.

Answer 8

The situation definitely smells funny. Unfortunately men don't usually see women very clearly and he thinks she's nice. I don't think I would want him to know I snooped. Can you get to his work a few times and meet him for lunch - maybe shop in the afternoon and meet him to ride home? And make it a surprise and be VERY friendly and sweet.

Answer 9

He wants it both ways; he wants you (for the convenience) and he wants to play around with other girls. You're crazy if you believe his baloney. He is so typical of all too many guys who operate in the same old way. They count on women being foolish, gullible, and tolerating their lies and nonsense because they are too fearful of being alone and learning to stand on their own two feet. Guys like that know weak women make excuses for their behavior - and they can get away with it. How long you are willing to tolerate this nonsense depends on YOU! Not him. He will never change; just change women. There will always be another woman to sucker; the world is full of them. YOU have to decide what it is you want out of life, whether living like that for the next 20 years (and possibly catching any number of diseases from his fooling around) or upgrading your standards and having better for yourself. It's your choice.

Answer 10

I assume that when you say that you are young and in love, it is with your husband. Apparently he doesn't feel the same way
. You are his wife and he spends more time with her than you. He talks more with her. You know that you deserve more than he is giving to you. Don't let him do that to you.
The time that you have spent with him has not been a waste. You have learned a lot. One of the most important things is that the next guy you get romantically involved with will be texting you love notes, sending you flowers and finding ways to spend more time with you.