why does my mom hate me?

Question

ok i know she doesnt actually hate me, but our relationship has been so tense nowadays.
she always compares me to other people. she wont shut up, its like she gets paid for nagging, she deliberatly looks for mistakes in me. i consider myself a good girl most of the time...i dont talk to guys, i dont lie to her if i want to go somewhere with my friends after school, i get ok grades at school. i know i need to improve in my behavior towards her, but its so HARD. she gets upset if a raise my voice (or she thinks im rasing my voice) at her, but its so hard not to.when we get in a fight, its the same procedure: spend 30 minutes CONTINULOUSLY yelling at cursing at me, saying how shes cursed to have kids like us, and how other people are blessed to have their kids, then she cries, and then she calls her friends and air our dirty laundry around. she never lets me have my privacy, never lets me lock my door.
we just had a fight, and shes doing the whole crying thing now with a friend

sorry...ran out of letters, but not even close to finishing my venting....
but what the hells her problem? whats mines? i dont like it when this happens--she probably does...
why does she do this to me?

Answer 1

Sometimes mothers of teenage girls go thru a hard time seeing their girls growing up and blossoming. She may be depressed or even jealous.
If she has been this way most of your life she may be bipolar.
Looking back I can see that mine was. In this case you may want to seek out counseling to help you deal with it.
I went thru this where she was nice as could be for a while then was always on my case for months. One thing I really hated was I had zits. Every morning when I came into the kitchen she would say "you face looks terrible" This was Not what I need to hear, to say the least.

It can help to be calm,
try not to get defensive,
and at unexpected times, give her a sincere complement.
It is hard to hate someone who will say nice things to you.
e.g. "Mom, remember that time when you ( ) ? you really looked nice." or
"I'm glad that you taught me to cook barbequed pork"
"Since you showed me how to find the north star I know more about the universe"

Stuff like that. She may respond favorably to this if you're sincere.
If not, she may have serious problems.

I hope this passes soon for you, this is not necessary in your life. You can't choose your parents, but to avoid having this kind of thing in the future. When you find a guy, avoid control freaks and critical guys.

Hang in there, and if you need to see a counselor to deal with it, then do it. Peace, and good luck!

Answer 2

check around and see if you can find a counselor of some kind - at school, church, police, etc. There are ways to deal with a mean parent depending on your age and you may as well take the step - I doubt you mom will go looking for happy solutions so long as she thinks she's in control. There are organizations like www.familiesanonymous.org/ and Adult Children of Alcoholics that can help you deal with your disturbing parent. Look up child abuse on google or in a library to get help.
I wish you luck with that terrible parent. I could have used some 'bad parent' help as a child but none was available!

Answer 3

thats kinda freaky, i cant ever imagine my mom doing that! but watever, wat you should do is wen ur in a fight one day or wen shes complaining about being cursed because she had you, what you should do is yell back and be all like, omg mom listen to me, im cursed to hav u as a mom, u dont lov me or care for me, i try my best but u just complain," and then tons of other stuff. make her realize that ur suffering because of it and that u rlly are trying in vain, then tell her that she should rethink stuff and run to ur room and slam the door and then cry loudly. and if u want to add some humour u could do the whole crying while calling a friend.... good luck, i rly dont get ur mom

Answer 4

Well, I personally believe that you'll manage to understand you mother's attitude by the time you become a mother yourself. Believe me, each parent is treated the same way he used to treat his mother/father. So, try to show gratitude for her no matter what she does. And here is a tip, whenever you get angry wash your face with cold water and you'll be cool right away. I wish you hard luck!

Answer 5

bs im not reading all that crap!!! I don't read but my dad asks me to but u get the idea....so ur moms trying to nag about u to make u get better at things like this.....*u suck at soccer!* thats gunna make u wanna be better to win her love back