You know when boys say "I'm never getting married, I hate girls." and then something happens to some boys and

Question

one day they change their minds and start liking girls? And vice versa on some girls, too.

Well, could that be considered an example of proof that people truly do choose to heterosexual? You know, one "day" you don't like girls and the next "day" you change your mind?

For that matter, could it be an example of proof that most people are born with a natural affinity to homosexually orientated companionship?(sans the sex except for some who experiment and we all know it happens)

Or,

Is it really proof that all people are born basically nonsexual and then at a certain age when puberty starts to kick in on all of us that our prewired inner selves takes over exposing our predetermined orientation as intended?

Answer 1

Ok, I have read your question and decided to answer it. I thought about how to answer it, and decided to give you a look at me and what I went through growing up. It is my thoughts, based on my life (and some people that I have talked to in my life).

I believe that when you are young, you are not attracted to people in a sexual way... because that part of the brain and body have not developed yet. When I was growing up, I had kids my age around me and I did not have any sexual attraction to them nor did I want to date them at all. I felt a different feeling towards guys than girls though, but it was not sexual. It was like, I wanted to be around guys more than girls, unless they were tom boys. I liked being around older good looking guys for some reason, I thought it was natural and just for friendship at the time. Now that I look back to when I was 6 and more, I was making friends with guys that I now find really hot. Strange how life works lol. I grew up with more guy friends than girl, but the girl ones were tom boys and liked to do guy stuff.

When I turned 12 or 13, I developed the ability to 'get it up'... guess thats a good way to put it lol. I found a attraction to pics of guys instead of girls, and I had a mental attraction to guys more than girls. I did "experiment" with 2 girls and a guy "Playing Dr" as most kids do... and found the girls to be interesting to look at, but the guys won the battle. I didnt have "sex" then, just looked and stuff... curiosity to see what is there lol. After that, I knew that I was into guys only. But growing up in the COUNTRY and having my catholic based family, I had to act str8. I studied guys and how they acted and what they did, from when I was 13 til 18 and by then I had developed the ability to act totally str8 and be a normal guy. I decided that if I was gay, I would hide it and be a str8 guy, live a str8 life and fit in with the "normal" people. So, from then till 21 I was living the str8 life, helped along by drinking all the time and drug use. I had to have a crutch to help me along. I had many issues with being gay and how people HATE it... I even tried to kill myself 3 times from when I was 19 til 22. Thank God, I did not succeed.

Then at that point of my life, I had a friend (gay hairdresser) that talked to me every day about things and he is the one that made me realize that I need to be true to myself and live my life how I feel that I need to, to be happy and not kill myself. I then decided he was right, and so I went off in search of Mr Perfect... in the process of looking I found a few Mr Right Nows and a few Mr AZZhole of the Days, and eventually I found the one that I am with now.

The whole life thing, it is a series of lessons and experiences. We go through many things that teach us and mold us into better, smarter people. It is amazing to look back on. But, like others, I wish I knew then what I know now hahaha.

I feel like it is our job to teach others about what we have learned, its called history, ya know. We all need to learn and teach. Thats why when I found this site, I loved it. I have been writing to mostly gay, bi, questioning and stuff, because when I was younger, I had no one to talk to and no one to give me any advice. I do wish that others would take this stuff seriously, because we do have people that read this stuff and it shapes their future and thoughts.

Being Gay or Bi, it is NOT a choice. I tried to make it a choice, to fit in, and it almost killed me a few times. If it was a choice, most of us would pick Straight, to be normal, fit in, and live a happy life. But, its not like that. It can be a NORMAL, HAPPY life, but it takes your own acceptance to get it that way. It does not matter what others think because they come and go and do not pay your bills or cook you dinner.

Life has changed in the past 20 years. I am now 33 and it is a different world. People can go out and be whoever they want to be moreso now than ever. People are learning to be more considerate and understanding about people and how those people act, more tollerant. BUT we still have a LONG way to go from here. I feel with the next generation we will make much more progress towards acceptance and having legal rights. Right now, the government is still run by old school thieves and liars and "do as I say, not as I do" kinda people... when the next set take over, I feel that things will change for the better.

Answer 2

ummmm -- during the development of sexuality in late preteens and early teens -- people already know what they will feel -- they feel it -- they fight it because society teaches that boys shouldn't be girlie. It isn't that they don't already know they are attracted to girls -- they do; they just don't want to be.

Note however that in general straight boys have VERY few female FRIENDS -- for nearly all straight boys their close friendships are with other boys. In fact, many gay boys (not all, I have almost no female friends, by choice) reverse the standard and have many friendships with girls, and only a few relationships with males (that they are interested in).

I hope that helps.

Kind thoughts,

Reyn
[e-mail]

Answer 3

No. I never said that and have never known any boys to say that. True often they wll say "icky girls" but this is generally when they have a little boy crush on a girl.

Current research seems to tie homosexuality to 5 to 15 genes. There may be some environmental influences but that seems to be a minor contribution.

Oh, this is my understanding as a straight atheist.

Answer 4

That's a good point, I think parents try to force their kids to like the opposite sex. If parents didn't force their kids to like the opposite sex all people would prefer to be gay. That makes sense, lol.

Actually I don't think the str8 or gay gene kicks in until around puberty even though some kids know they are gay as early as 6 yrs old.

Answer 5

You can't be something without understanding what something is and until we are 10 or 11 years old we don't understand sexuality ... so if we don't understand it how can we classify ourself as any certain type of sexuality? We can't because as children it is a blank slate to us that we have to fill in as we go.

Answer 6

I think people are born with a clean slate. You choose what you want to be. I think people become gay because the way they grew up, what their parents taught them and what the want in life. I dont think anyone is born anything,

Answer 7

I've always liked girls and my closest friends have always been girls, but I just don't like them in a sexual manner.