When a child/student has scored (improved), do u congratulate & motivate or advice them to achieve more?

Question

Whenever someone comes to you with a progress or shares with you good information, It is our responsibility to immediately congratulate them and wish them good luck. Tell encouraging words to motivate them to do better.

I have seen many saying like “see you have achieved only so much, look at others. You have long way to go. See last years you did the same but within a month you scored less.”

“Don’t become proud, you have lot to achieve”….

“see 10 scored more than you”

“you are lucky you got promotion”

“oh you got 78 % discount, neighbour girl scored more than you"
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Answer 1

Yes,

Part of motivation, motivation is to provide encouragement when even small success are made. The stupid idea of making everyone winners evolved from this. The original idea was to reward even the small successes and it went to far to rewarding everyone who tried. It is a great idea, until it cheapens the value of winning.

Success is great, but it isn’t the only thing, AND no one can be the best , there is always room for someone else who does better, the larger the world you live in the more people there are who can do better. The best player among a group of friends may be the best player in their school, but still may not be professional quality. Does that make them a poor player? No, it just means that playing isn’t their greatest strength and some people don’t have a strength greater than everyone else. Specialization is for insects; the truly successful can do more than just one thing well.

For example being a success at school is great, but not so good if you are miserable at home, or if you have other problems like a drug addiction, child abuse, excessive bullying and so on.

A lot of it is in your tone. You are lucky you got promoted is a bad thing to say to someone who did get promoted, but not so bad if they only made it by a point or two. Saying “See 10 more scored better than you” is ignoring the 100 or so that didn’t score as high as they did. It might be better to say “See, only 10 people did better than you, that’s pretty good.” No it is not the best, but if it is in the higher percentage then it is often good enough.

When a college looks for a student they don’t want the best in math, they want those that did well in all their subjects, and they want those that are well rounded students; students who had a life outside of class and did well in other things rather than just school. These make the most successful people. Like Heinlein said “Specialization is for insects.”

The question is what are they good at, what can they improve on and how do you accent both, while keeping them sane. That’s why good parenting is an art form not an exact science. A good student needs the encouragement to do better, the recognization when they do and the support or help when they don’t do well.

I was a good solid B student through most of school. I also attempted pre-calculus in high school so I wasn’t a dummy. I scored lower than some people because I took on a more challenging work load. I took advanced English to make a B and then took normal English to make an A with only 1/2 the work load. Which course was better for me? In the end it proved that the advanced course was closer to what I would see in college so I wish I had taken more of those courses or that high school had prepared me properly for college. I felt cheated because it had not.

When I first discovered algebra I hit a huge wall and couldn’t do it. I was going to flunk the course, until I asked my father, the rocket scientist, for help. He was a safety engineer who worked for NASA and had to dumb himself down to make it so a 6th grader could understand algebra. If hadn’t done that then I wouldn’t have made it through high school math never mind college math. He never ridiculed me, he never, called me stupid or dumb (I was doing enough of that myself), instead he provided the best help he could. Because of him I made it through school. It took a lot of work, and I know that my stubborn refusal to “get it” only made him angry, but he never held that against me and he never blew up on me. He only tried to teach me and he did a better job than the school did.

The idea is to learn, not to be the best, lots of people make it through college, but only a few become successful afterward and only a very few become hugely successful. A big part of being a success is finding your strength and playing to it. This is how all the rich successful people and powerful people got where they are in life. Look at President George Bush, he graduated Yale, but he wasn’t the best student. He didn’t go to Vietnam, and there is some doubt on how hard he worked or served in the National Guard. He did go on to become President though, and he didn’t do that just by being rich or being the right son of the right man. It took more than that. He had to become governor on his own and prove that he could matter in politics before he could become President. He isn’t a very popular President and he is far from the best, but there is no doubt he is one of the most powerful Presidents the US has ever seen. Part of the reason for that is that he knows how to play to his strengths and he knows to surround himself with good people; in **** Cheney’s case maybe too good. Becoming President of the US is a very high goal that only a very few people ever attempt much less achieve. I would hardly compare George Bush with Einstein, Martin Luther King or any of history’s greatest figures, but like him or not he has become one of history’s greatest figures and you don’t do that easily. Yet, despite his advantages he wasn’t the best at anything, it took a combination of things to make him who he is today.

Answer 2

I think that it's a very good question, and I hope that many people will read this, because I hear so much 'negative motivation' leveled towards children especially in sport.

I always continue to motivate my kids when they do well, because they are going to have failures in life, and I'm not always going to be around. I feel that they need to always keep up hope...that nothing is over until it's over, and nothing can be achieved by being negative. Ultimately, I hope they are learning to keep things in perspective. Life is so much bigger than a football game or a math grade.

Answer 3

What u just said is absolutely true.......Today, even many parents r ashamed of their children just becoz the neighbour's child scored more then him!!!!!!!

If the parents or anybody else instead of motivating the child scold him then the ones who did not motivate will be at fault if the child doesnt become successful in his life!!!!

Whenever somebody scored good marks then i always motivate that child!!!!!
Even if a child scores good marks then also we should motivate him by saying him nice words becoz friends remember!!!!!! ANYTHING IS BETTER THEN ZERO!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

De@r GenTLe m@n,

I congratulate the person on the spot. From the starting i have been a person who is very positive in life and who always encourage and motivate people.

As i always feel that no one is dumb or stupid. We humans ourselves have given these names to the people.

But i think instead of saying names, we should always have the habit of encouraging and motivating people. As it will only help. When once we start discouraging someone, then that person loses hope of becoming a better person and he misguides or misleads himself, which in other sense is due to us.

Its always the duty or the responsibility of the elders to teach and preach the lessons of encouragement among everyone. If you encourage someone then that person will realize that by gaining this much he is so much respected, so by gaining double this how much will he be respected.

So instead of discouraging, lets all of us make a resolution only to encourage and motivate people.... :)...tc...sweet dreamz...bye....

*****dO wh@tEvEr yOuR hE@rT $@yZ....*****.

Answer 5

Hi..
In order for a child to do well in school,
you have to go beyond bribery, there has to be family cohesiveness, don't compare your child to anyone else, everyone learns at a different pace.
Show you children how proud you are of them, and let them be proud of themselves, for doing such a good job.
Don't ever give a compliment, and then take it away by saying..But now you must accomplish this. "Let them enjoy the moment of their achievement. without any "buts".
However, don't ever stop motivating your child, encourage them to get to the next level. And when they reach that level..Congratulations is called for..Enjoy the moment, show your child how proud you are, and let your child enjoy the moment, and be proud of himself/herself as well..It's a continuing process!
This is something that will follow them through life..

Enjoy the weekend all!

Answer 6

Indeed, really glad for them! Besides, we both know Cyprus is basically Greek, eff the Turks :) Also, I've been told, the GK and some of the players were shouting "we're all Greek in Cyprus" after the game :D On a more serious note, their success clearly comes in from having a Serbian manager.. ;p

Answer 7

me as a child have had those times a lot
like just two days ago i got my report card
i always get straight A's and so i went home again with my report card and i showed my mom my report card and it was straight A's again.

my mom was so happy she started hugging me and was so glad she promised me to get me anything i wanted.

even though i get the same report every nine weeks my mom still has that same glitter in her eyes

and my dad always has that proud feeling in him that i am his daughter that i will never let him down.

they are so happy with me and are always motivating me with what they say. and not only with that but with what they feel and how they feel always shows in their eyes.

but on the other hand my brother doesn't do as well as me but does his best and tries a lot, so i feel so great when my brother gets the same appreciation as me and when i see him smiling at me for what i have done it is great to know that i have helped him in try his best towards school too

and yes gentleman i live in the US .
love indianbeauty
Punjabi Girl

Answer 8

I believe praise is the best motivator! It is demoralizing to say you could do better. Let the person have their moment of glory. Then give them another moment of glory with praise. There is nothing better than thinking that you tried your best and it bore the fruit of accomplishment. So never take that from someone.

Answer 9

ya children should be motivated and also they should be encouraged to compete with themselves and their own past performances rather than with other people. This will help to minimize the interfering effects competition can have on interpersonal relationships and creative risk-taking and lessen the fear of loss or failure. It may also help to avoid possible negative social sanctions for success and prevent able children from applying the performance standards they set for themselves to other people.

Answer 10

well
usually i get the motivation as i am a child studying in std 8