Should I accept it?

Question

Ok my ex is going to have our son this weekend we are going through a divorce well sort of he will not agree to the papers yet.
Anyhow last night on the phone he asked me if I needed any money and I told him no (I do not want him to think I am out for his money at all) anyhow he says well I am going to give you some money.
So here is the question we have a son together and rightfully he should be paying some sort of support but beings it is not "on the books" should I decline it until then or take it???

I sort of get the feeling that he thinks if he pays support to me then I will not file for the divorce he still tells me he loves me and what not but it is done I do not want to give him any false hopes. However I am now a struggling single mom with a daycare cost of 22.00 a day so it would help should I just ask him to make out a check to the sitter?

Answer 1

I think I answered a similar ? of yours the other day. Why not take it? He has a responsibility to care for his son just like you. Make sure you make those arrangements for child support. It's not being mean, you both brought this child into the world so he should be paying for support of his son to.

Answer 2

Only if you indeed to allow him to see your son. If you don't ever want him to see your son then it's best not! It's basically how Canadian Law works.. My sister lost the rights to raise her child when she accepted money because her excuse remarked in Court she accepted the money cause she needed. I wasn't there so I really don't what truly happened I did loan some money to my sister to help her pay off her phone bill. She did get a job at a Drug Store and told me that she had no more need to borrow money and she had me forward a letter to her ex. I never read it. She said it was a thank you letter and not to send her anymore money! I don't know if she sees or son now or not! The point is if you accept money from your ex you can't stop him from seeing your Son! Don't forget I'm in Canada, things may be a bit different than in the USA! (Canadian wordings and syntaxes must be different too in Canada than USA !) Oh by the way I recently advised someone on yahoo to offer his ex money if he ever wants the right to see his son. (This someone seems to post around the same time you post maybe it is your ex)

Answer 3

You deserve his help, it is his child also.
Take the money and keep record of how much he gives you so when you do go to court the judge will ask if he has been helping. He knows very well that the little amounts he is offering you is way less than what a judge will order him to pay.
Don't be silly and feel sorry for him or you will kick yourself later ! I did this before and ended up doing everything my self for my daughter. It is better to get it in a court order. good luck to you. Remember the child is the most important isssue here. you need his help in everything it takes to support this child. Day care, medical, food, clothes, housing, utilities. You are doing it all. ♥j

Answer 4

Yes, you should, you are a single mom, and you are raising his child, he is taking the first step in offering to pay some kind of support for your child, most soon to be ex's do not do this, accep the money, and use it for the care and support of your child.

When you go to court to fianlize the divorce, then the cost of child support will be ordered by the judge on how much he should pay regardless to his income.

Child care is expensive, and honey, I would take the money and be grateful that he is even offering to help.

If you are going to be a single parent, then yes, you are going to need all the help you can get.

Answer 5

Because of the way you phrased your question, I'll give you the parameters under which the two of you are currently operating and then YOU decide.

Because the two of you are divorcing, matters of child support are decided along with custody and the actual divorce in the parenting plan. Therefore, in all states, the child support is ordered from the date of the filing of divorce.

This will mean that he will begin with automatic arrears. If he is attempting to to reduce this amount by offering you support now in anticipation of the court order pending, then he is within his rights to ask the court to take judicial notice of that fact and reduce his arrears accordingly.

I would then suggest that you discuss the matter with him and let him know that any monies he offers to you now he should offer in the form of a check with the memo line noted as 'child support'.

Otherwise, the court considers it a gift and does not take judicial notice of the amount in regards to any ordered arrears.

If he insists in giving you cash, then be honest and inform the court that he has been paying to help support his child.

Divorce is contentious enough without minor issues like this clouding the issues.

Answer 6

I say take every dime he offers you. Raising a child I'm sure you are beginning to become aware of, is expensive. If he cuts you off after he is served with the papers, you will be glad you got what you got. There are a lot of dead beat dads out there but it doesn't sound like your ex is going to be one of them. Just do not ever use your child as a tool to manipulate your ex. As long as he is giving you financial support, allow him time with the child. You may be surprised but it is quite common that two people who failed in marriage can become good friends with the child as the glue to that friendship. Catch an episode of 'The New Christina' and you will see what I mean. There are steps you will have to take to protect your rights as a parent. A decision of whether or not there is going to be joint custody will have to be made. Every child who has the love and support of two parents is more beneficial than a child who has only one parent. Don't get me wrong; there are single parents who are raising exceptional children, but when there are two parents who share a single goal, the child benefits. I hope this helps. :}

Answer 7

Take any money he offers you ! It's both of your responsibilities to care for your child ! Why should you struggle when it's his kid too . If you still lived together he'd be giving you money so what's the difference now ! You have plenty of time to make things legal but in the meantime the kid needs to eat and be taken care of like you never split up !

Answer 8

Take the money, pay for what ever you need you can always put the money away and save it, in case you didn't know divorces are expensive, if some one wants to give me money I'd take it.

Answer 9

I know what keeps you for not taking his share of financial responsibility to your child--your pride--because you want to show him that you can well take care of your son even without his help...Take his offer...He has an obligation to your son and let him do his share on that...After all, no matter what happens he will always be the father of your son...(",)

Answer 10

Accept the money, it is for your son. If you are in the Uk and you apply for child maitenance they ask you how much does he contribute, if it is a lot then they will not expect him to pay more, if it is under their 'guidelines' then he will have to cough up more for you. At least he is willing to give you money