question for married men....sex/love?

Question

my question is for the married guys out there....i am 25 and never been married. What do married men to do to keep the LOVE/SEX in their marriage alive? What are some things that you do to keep the spark…I know for me that after dating a girl a while things seem to get old and it’s like the spark died out? What would you say is the hardest thing to keep alive in marriage…the love or sex? What is most important you? Is it true that married men get bored of having sex with the same person after awhile? What about love do you find that you you’re not in love like you use to be when you first dated? If sex and love is going strong in your marriage what did you do to keep the flame going after so many years?
Not looking for people to answer with their opinions. I am looking for Married or Divorced men to give me answers from their own PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.

htrime for the first person to answer thats a pretty damn good one

coco

i said at the start i only wanted married men to answer. you dont know what its like to be a married man. as you answer might be accurate is someways its not what im looking for. and you are wrong sometimes changing postions adding toys all that stuff just sex into great sex..but thats really not enough. atleast in some relationships it isnt and i know that for a fact bc i am a guy...so please next time you answer a question make sure the question is for you to answer. that fact that you are not a man makes you unable to answer my question

ras and cher

you guys all keep hitting on the same areas...seems to me that the foundation is whats important ...you are all saying it has to be the right person. and i guess i can understand that. would it be true to say that majoirty of Americans dont spend enough time picking that right person. we rush in to it?...... do think this is the reason for so many failed marriges in america?

i think maybe i have found the right girl...but i cant have her lol ...darn it

good answer jerry

Answer 1

the "right" woman makes the difference. Sure, you get bored every once and a while or maybe not the most turned on from time to time, but I still chase my wife around the house, pinch her butt, flirt, make eyes and we still have wonderful sex on a regular basis.

I am madly in love with her and we are best friends as well. We have formed a team with one another against the world.

To spice things up, we talk dirty, role play, use toys from time to time and we have even played some drinking sex games with the neighbors which was well beyond heavy petting and not quite full blown swapping.... that did it for us for years of fun, really opened us both up sexually to where we would likely not need or want to do it again.

Although we might if we both wanted too.

I was like you, after three or four rounds with a girl I was completely bored, hang in there, you'll meet the right one...

Answer 2

I agree with htrime, the love and sex does get better with marraige if both partners are into it. The "spark" associated with the mystery of a new relationship does diminish, but it;s replaced by a different spark.that you get from having intimiate knowledge - not just sexual in nature, but understanding thuoghts, feelings, etc. That little wink.

I think the stereotypical challenges that you seem to be anxious about revolve around the fact that children come along and of course take a significant focus, and eventually you both have demanding careers that take a lot of energy. You get ollder and all of these things lead to being tired all the time. When you get there, you just need to make the rlationship a priority, where before it was a given.

My wife and I try to make sure to have date nights, arrange an overnight where the kids stay with grandma, stuff like that. I could also suggest some playful things you'd do when you were younger - flirting with your wife over email from work for example.

I think you're right to be nervous, but when it's right it will work out. Just understand that there will be times when it is harder than other.

Answer 3

I'm sorry, but your question is impossible to really answer. It's like trying to explain WHY you prefer chocolate ice cream over butter pecan. You just DO. When you love somebody, love and sex, while separate things; are so wrapped up with each other, that they can't be separated. I'm an old fart, and have been married twice. I love my wife more now than when we got married, 15+ years ago. Even if I was somehow still as young as when we married, the urgencey of the sex wouldn't be the same. Not that it's less important, or less enjoyable. It's merely that it's become normal. The "newness" is gone. Now, I make love to my best friend. Before, I was sleeping with a "new" lady. Just as the first warm sunny day in the spring seems unique and magical, but after a few weeks, you hardly notice the weather. You still like it, it just isn't "new". That's just human nature. I'm sure you have sights in your area that a visitor finds VERY beautiful and impressive, but for you, it's just part of the background. Today, my marriage with my wife is so much richer than 15 years ago, it's barely the same relationship. We have so many little things we share together. Things that no other person could understand. Insights, and humorous memories, that can be triggered by a situation- when we glance at each other, and KNOW why the other has that little grin. I'm 58, and perhaps in twenty years I'll be dead, or no longer sexually active. But, it won't matter. As long as I live, my wife will ALWAYS be that hot young lady I couldn't keep my hands off. I pity folks who aren't open to a real, long term relationship. They cheat themselves out of the one thing that really means anything. I don't have much in a material sense, but I wouldn't trade my life for fame or wealth, if it meant I'd have had to live it without my wife. Were I to find out I was dying, my only real regets would be that I wouldn't be with my wife much longer, and that she would be hurt that I was dying. I'll even admit that I'm not really a good person, in that I'd rather die myself than have my wife die I'm ashamed to admit that I'd rather have her live without me; than to have to face life without her. I hope that you too, will someday understand why a long marriage is so great. And, you won't be able to explain it either.

Answer 4

I was engaged when I was 24 and married when I was 26 Our wedding colors were a pale peach and chocolate brown We each had our brothers as witnesses (2 total), it was a very small wedding (14 people were there including us and our reverend) Our reception was held a month after our wedding, and we did not have assigned seating, most people didn't sit, it was a cocktail party We had a small chocolate cake and then a variety of desserts for people to choose, I think there were 5 different choices We went to Maui for two weeks We got married in Gleneden Beach, OR, a tiny town on the coast, just outside of Lincoln City

Answer 5

IN ANY MARRIAGE MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING, LOVE AND SEX ARE ESSENTIAL. I AM MARRIED FOR 33 YEARS AND LIVING WITH THE SAME WOMAN NEVER THINKING OF ANY EXTRA MARITAL RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYONE ELSE. I AM SURE , THE SAME IS TRUE FOR HER(I MEAN, MY WIFE).
SEX IS NOT THE ONLY AND ULTIMATE THING THAT KEEPS A MARRIED RELATIONSHIP GOING.
LOVE AND MUTUAL RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER IS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT.
I AM FROM INDIA. IN THIS COUNTRY, WE HARDLY THINK OF A SECOND MARRIAGE OR A DIVORCE. TRADITION OF THE ORIENTAL SOCIETY IS DIFFERENT FROM THAT OF THE WEST.
EVEN THEN, MUTUAL RESPECT AND LOVE KEEPS THE RELATIONSHIP GOING.MORE SO, ONCE YOU BECOME A MOTHER AND HE BECOMES A FATHER.THE CHILD IS THE SYMBOL OF THE RESULT OF A MARRIED COUPLE AND THE CHILD IS AN ADHESIVE BOND TO KEEP MARRIAGE ALIVE AND LASTING.PLEASE MARRY SOMEONE ,WHOSE FAMILY BOND AND TRADITIONS ARE GOOD.
THE GUY IS GOOD......IS NOT A SUSTAINABLE LOGIC TO MARRY ONE.IT'S AFTER ALL, A QUESTION OF WHOLE LIFE.
AN EDUCATED AND CULTURED BACKGROUND OF THE MAN IS IMPORTANT BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO MARRY A GUY.
RELATIONSHIP BASED SIMPLY ON SEX IS VERY TEMPORARY.
BEST OF LUCK
GOD BLESS

Answer 6

Alright, im not a man, but im 24, and ive lived way beyond my years when it comes to sex and relationships. So, heres my take...I think love is harder to keep alive than sex. The reason is simple, anyone can have sex, but to keep your love/interest in someone alive, there has to be lots of communication, trust, and also time apart, as well as together. You cant spend 24/7 with the person, and you have to have your life with your own circle of friends outside of the relationship. To keep the spark in the bedroom, mix it up. Dont plan sex. It should be something that happens naturally, and sex toys, as well as porn can also be fun to throw in every now and then. During sex, change positions often. Keep focused on the person youre with, and try not to compare them to past sexual partners. Dont think of anyone else but her when you are having sex. I dont think its true that guys get tired of sleeping with the same woman. I think its that they get tired of all the other little things that go with it. Perhaps they simply get bored. This is why you try new things, and dont be afraid to try new things. Same old postitions, day after day, it becomes more of a parrern rather than a sexual pleasureable experience.

Answer 7

Sex is a product of Love.
You have to keep things new. Women like to be surprised. It's going to be hard for you to do that after 30 years, but it can be done. I know...
Sex isn't aerobics. Love has to be there or what's the point? I Love Surprising the ol' girl.
One Valentines Day about 15 years ago, I got naked and tied a bow around it. She still talks about that little surprise. What will I do next Valentines day????

Answer 8

The guy is right. You gotta wanna be there.......When you fall in love the spark is always lit.....You don't have to do anything when you are in love to keep the spark going. The "love" is the most important part in my marriage. It is a bond that cannot be described. We are best of friends. We enjoy just hanging out together.....

Answer 9

Ya gotta wanna be there DUDE ...she does too........ It gets better if thats the case......