My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. He lives in California and I live in Boston. We've only been together for a total of 13 days because of the distance, and we're both in school. We were doing fine, but lately he is just being different, in a bad way. Usually we get along great and talk on the phone for hours. But lately, if we have a fight and he becomes disrespectful, I'll ask for an apology, and he refuses. He never does anything sweet for me. Last night he found out that his dad won't pay for the rest of the school year, so he might have to drop out, and he yelled at me when I tried to help him. Now he might have to join the army so they'll pay. He says I don't listen to his problems but he never wants to tell me them in the first place. I just feel so frustrated. I love him so much and he's a great guy usually. I hate that he makes me question whether or not to stay with him because I know that I probably won't find anyone better for me. What should I do?
2007-11-17 00:03:41 · 9 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This type of non stop fighting usually precludes a breaking off part of the relationship.
Like the song goes, "the thrill is gone".. and reality has set in and is difficult to contend with.
His family is most likely on his case all the time, and he cannot fight them back when they make him feel bad. So, he does the logical thing, which is venting out all his anger at them ON YOU.
He has to realize that he is fighting the wrong enemy. He is challenging you to break up with him so that also means that he considers you as part of his problems.
Pray for some wisdom. But do not undervalue yourself at the same time. A man has to be sure that he considers you to be a prize that he won, not as a burden around his neck.
The next time he makes you feel like the choke chain, start packing and go. or if you are paying the rent, tell him to go. You deserve better.
2007-11-17 00:16:02 · answer #1 · answered by QuiteNewHere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said he's a great guy, but then you said he never does anything sweet for you. You said you probably won't find anyone better, but you will. If you are unable to talk sensibly with him about the relationship, you really need to consider staying away from him to let him think about things. You need to do the same.
Oh, and...he's a jerk. Jerks aren't nice.
2007-11-17 00:22:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship has just started your both adjusting (a fresh start)... If you let this problem get to the both of you it meant your relationship is loose. I think his not use to someone who would help him (or don't want to burden you). You should be beside him let him know that your part of life too... Let him feel that he's not alone (be that someone who'll listen). Tell him that you love him, you care, and you’ll listen then hold him tight and won’t let go (because you care!!)….
2007-11-17 00:22:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him if he truly does love you still. if he doesn't than move on and find someone who will treat you better. if he does than talk to him. tell him that you feel like hes been a jerk to you and explain the things that hes done to you in a calm voice.try to build your relationship back up with him. good luck!
2007-11-17 00:09:57 · answer #4 · answered by mascot336 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time is remedy,give him some time to short out his issues and see how he behave after his problames r over,than u take the decision what to do in future.
2007-11-17 00:11:22 · answer #5 · answered by prahlad d 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is he starting to party and do drugs? is that why his dad wont pay no more..
whatever the case maybe dont start supporting him i know u think u love him but don't let him start mooching off of u
2007-11-17 00:10:53 · answer #6 · answered by ♥♥girl♥♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men/boys don't like women to "solve" their problems, they just like women to listen. Don't be a solver, just be a listener.
2007-11-17 00:07:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st ..get this out of your head........
"I know that I probably won't find anyone better for me."
...then go shopping with your girlfriends...
2007-11-17 00:11:53 · answer #8 · answered by Dr. AssWhole 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him when he is calm.
2007-11-17 00:08:39 · answer #9 · answered by Jurrassikk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋