Have any of you gotten abused by your parents for your learning disabilites?

Question

I was born with moderate or mild autism. In my culture (I'm Chinese), any type of disability isn't accepted. It is the norm for kids to excel in all academic areas. So my parents verbal abused me for years that damaged me emotionally. They never got me help with autism that they only focused on molding me to become a prodigy or at least a highly academic girl. They made me feel so guilty for making their lives unfortunate because I couldn't reached to their expectations.

I feel like I'm the only person with learning disabilities born to parents that aren't loving or accepting towards me while others seem to have such a loving family.

So any of you with learning disabilites that have been abused by your parents for the condition that you never chose to be born with? Feel free to share.

Answer 1

I really do not know what to say, but i do feel for you and hope you do well in aspects of your life, and if you have children give to them what you never recieved. i will add something,
i was never very bright at school, as a matter of fact quite dumb, always last or second last in exams, and my parents did not help by saying i was dumb, the only exam i ever did well in at school was the last one before i left, i studied for the first time in my life and surprised myself with a good grade, now i am older i don't hold it against them that they called me dumb but it has affected me with my confidence in doing some things, and i guees will do for the rest of my life.

Answer 2

I am hurting from a similar situation. My father forced me to go to a private school. I was always behind in middle school mathematics and high school mathematics. I would be in summer school because I did not complete the 5th, 6th and 7th grade math books on time. I should of failed 9th grade algebra, but the teacher was nice and passed me. My father was abscent from education and so were the educators.

Few people will understand what my problem was, but I never understood why I had to do any of the math problems in the math books to understand the math concepts. Regardless, I graduated from college and cannot use my degree because whenever I try to apply my analytical mind, I come up short. I would not come up short if I had not been abused at private school. Therefore, I stay as far away from careers that involve any analytical thinking as possible.

Answer 3

I have High Functioning Autism as well, and the same thing happen with my father, only it wasn't about academics. He wanted me to be less Autistic, and to be 'normal' like the other children. I tried my best, but it was never good enough for him. Luckily I did have a supportive mother who helped me understand that I could never be what he wanted me to be. Well, I sort of did, because now I have several friends who don't care if I'm awkward and sometimes don't understand their jokes, but it was despite his pushing, not because of it, that I'm who I want to be.
Know that academics really doesn't determine your self-worth, even if your parents mistakenly believe so. My mom always said to try your best, and that's all that matters. If a C is your best, be proud of yourself, not saddened because you couldn't do better.
Have you considered going to a counselor about this? I know that it has helped me by being able to talk to somebody who will listen to you without making judgments, and help you find your self-esteem. I know with one judgmental parent it wreaked my self-esteem, so I can't imagine what you must be going through with both of your parents not supporting you about your disability.
I think that Autism is not always a bad thing. In my situation, I'm extremely academic, but horrible with socialization, and I'll always have to work on that. If I was pressured like you were academically though, I'm not sure if I would be as good at school as I am without the pressure.
I was diagnosed with severe Autism when I was 18 months old, and I have had to work hard in order to become high functioning. I will never be 'normal', and you probably won't either, but who wants to be? I don't, because 'normal' people can lie and hurt easier then we can, and there are many other traits that I think people with High Functioning Autism are very unique. Good luck with your life, and if you need anybody to talk to, add me to your contact list, and I'll figure out a way to give you my e-mail (without posting it here, as people send junk to my e-mail if I post it here) I know a lot about Autism because I've lived through it, so I could help you if you want it.

Answer 4

I'm sorry to hear that. You are not alone.

I had a similar experience. My condition was diagnosed early by school officials, but my parents never told me and ignored it due to the old beliefs of "behavior". I was constantly blamed for any physical illnesses as well. Most people are not aware that there are also physical (medical) health problems that are common in autism spectrum disorders.

Finally after years of misdiagnosis I found out, and learned that many of my health problems were related. Too bad it took 14 years of seeing many specialists, years of illness and a lot of money.

Ironically my family suffered from serious illnesses that were probably caused by the same toxins that gave me AS. Their health problems could have been reduced or prevented had my condition not been ignored.

Answer 5

I have a unique experience that is on the level.
I was born with HLF autism.
My mom thought I was some kind of genius because of the way I could focus on something and turn it into something.
But she knew something was wrong with me.
She tried to convince me otherwise, and hid from me anything that would be "hurtful to know"
until I got older.
Wouldn't seek help, (I guess it was a form of denial supported by lack of income).
My mom tried to set me up with friends she thought would be good for me.
The first was this perfect christian kid whose parents were very intelligent. All it did was make me look awful by comparison. Eventually his parents said I wasn't welcome anymore.
After that for some reason I had been targeted, singled out, mistreated by nearly every person who would pretend to be my friend just to take advantage of things I could do, and then see how much mental or physical abuse it would take before I cracked, unless I focused the destructive nature outwardly.
So yeah I did all kinds of bad things and nearly never got caught, who would even believe?

It's difficult to acheive and be sucessful when all your life you are told about your inability to do so.

I hope you have learned by now that you are ultimately the one who decides. And despite the tragedy of such a childhood, these things shape and mold us for the things we won't understand until long after we've been through them.

I Isolated myself many times from everyone.
Then I grew in the faith that there were good people who would treat me well, somewhere.
Then I found good people who tolerate my trouble, and appriciate the good I try to do.
Within this different reality of my chosing, I am finding sucess in all apsects of life.
My family treats me different now too.
As it turns out, they aren't very happy in their lives.
Mine seems to inspire them a little.
And when they act up, I just brush it off and tell them a better way to look at it all before I walk away.

The most important lesson I learned was that you have to give first what you desire to receive from others.

Answer 6

Yes, I have been abused for my learning disabilities. It has always taken me twice as long to do tasks as others. My parents seriously thought I deliberately did that to make them feel bad. They even dunked my head in the toilet because I couldn't get all my classwork finished.

I've always had explosive anger and I was constantly beaten, threatened, and stomped nearly to death for it. They would force me to promise to never do that again when there was no ability for me to control this. If I refused to promise, I was beaten, and if I did (because I was forced to), I was beaten for "lying."

To this day, I doubt my faith. To me, God is not real nor loving, or He would have stopped this. It feels like God made me this way to set me up for abuse. The only thing God did right was condemn my parents to Hades. Too bad it took 17 years and after life-long damage was done. I really wish Heaven has a window where you can look into the underworld. My main regret is that I didn't take stopping the abuse into my own hands.

Answer 7

i am sorry your parents treat you this way. i do not have a disability but my son does. i would never abuse him in any way for having autism. he would have chose to been normal but that was not his decision. he can not help that he is autistic. if anything i love him more and would do anything i could to help him. my heart is broken to know what he goes through and the things he will never get to enjoy. i want him to have the best life he possibly can and i would never blame him or make him feel guilty.

Answer 8

Autism can actually insulate from parental abuse. I have survived and brother has not. You are who you are and you are responsible to yourself. Live each day and let go of the past. Looking for acceptance where there is none destroys the soul. Make a new family.

Answer 9

I work in special education and have worked with students with varying degrees of disabilities. Some have very supportive parents but others have little or no support, with parents who tell them they are stupid, siblings who treat them poorly, and so on. So you are not alone.

Answer 10

I have a similar lifestyle, and would not like to get in great detail here, if you would like to hear you can im/email me.

I feel your pain.