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Im nice to my friends and to people who I like but I can be quite short and cold with people Im not that crazy about. I dont like this as it leaves me feeling like im a mean and not very nice person. For example theres this one woman in work who talks non stop. I mean she'll talk about anything and everything. She's very nosey too. I entertained her for a while and talked to her but it became draining and I just didnt wanna talk to her about nonsense any longer. We work together every friday, just me and her and I wont talk to her. Which she has interpreted as me not liking her. I dont dislike her, but her level of talking is off the scale. I feel bad when I come home from work because I feel like ive been mean to her.
How can you be nice to people, I mean everybody, not just the folks who you like and who youre on the same wavelength with? And be genuinely nice too, not just being a fake. I mean I could be fake nice but I think thats the worst of all.
Thanks

2007-11-16 22:15:55 · 18 answers · asked by macmurphy45 1 in Family & Relationships Friends

18 answers

i hope u find this little advice useful & different
first of all, it is quite natural to be how u are
first of all, i feel it is a good quality to be so nice and friendly to most people
its even better to realise your weaknesses
i am really proud of people like u, so be proud of yourself too
one way of getting best of it to think it is not really your fault
thats how you are and nothing wrong with it
or on the other hand, now this could be little difficult, all you need to do is, when she is talking about the things dont interest you, you keep talking about the thing interest you and make or force her to listen to you as well, if this does not tell her what she is doing to you then luckily its only one day a week
but for gods sake, do not feel guilty and feel its wrong to be nasty to very very very few once in a while, cause nature itself intended it to be that way

2007-11-16 23:01:30 · answer #1 · answered by earliriser 2 · 0 0

It sounds like you are being nice to her. If it causes you to write this much about it I am certain you can hold a long conversation too. Why not be nice by saying you have a lot on your mind that you just can't talk about and prefer the silence, and it has nothing to do with you. It's not the total truth but you are what you practice. Sometimes the best way some of us can be nice to everybody is by keeping our tongues in check. Silence isn't a bad thing if it keeps the peace, but who am I to judge what peace is for you.

2007-11-16 22:28:14 · answer #2 · answered by HappyGoLucky 1 · 0 0

Being nice is an art. Before she starts talking, start the conversation yourself about the news or a television program or something your interested in, then keep asking questions to keep her on track toward her thinking of right answers. Eventually she will complain that her head hurts because you have made her use more of her mind then she is used to. Doing this will show her that what she finds important really isn't and also make her think your really smart, which will forever be a rose in your bonnet rather than a bee.

2007-11-16 22:26:26 · answer #3 · answered by Marcus R. 6 · 0 0

Next time I would recognise that the person is somebody that you do not enjoy talking to sooner. This way you can excuse yourself earlier from their presence.

The key word is that you entertained her. That is not being nice to her if in the long run the payoff is to hurt her feelings.

The way that I deal with nosey people is to keep your sentences short. Nosey people engage people in converstion as they are trying to extract information from you sneakily.

I keep my answers short and then it becomes clear that you do not want to talk. I learnt not to be afraid of the silence that may follow by doing this and the message soon hits home without being rude.

2007-11-16 22:30:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Hon, you have got to be honest with people, that's all! Take your workmate (If I can call her that!) She is probable a nice person, and she has a very open personality, you must admit! So, just tell her in a very nice way how you feel! adding that you really did not wish to hurt her feelings and your attitude towards her has hurt you as well! I bet you'll have the best friend you've ever had in your life then! Try it! what have you got to loose? Have a great day.

2007-11-16 22:27:32 · answer #5 · answered by wheeliebin 6 · 0 0

It's hard when you come up with someone so different to yourself. I understand how you feel just explain to the person you do like her but your not a good talker or listener most of the time. It's always easier to explain than suffer in silence

2007-11-16 22:21:23 · answer #6 · answered by jennifer h 7 · 0 0

You start by being nice to yourself, then you will find it easier to like people. Our feelings for others are mirrors of our own feelings for ourselves. Try and find something that you like about that person and work with it. Who said you have to like everyone !

2007-11-16 22:21:33 · answer #7 · answered by kildarababe 2 · 0 0

You can give her a very warm smile and keep giving her nice replies, and tell her politely that you have your work to do or you need some time to yourself.

Accept that people are different. And also accept that you can't please all the people all the time.

2007-11-16 22:20:49 · answer #8 · answered by Swamy 7 · 0 0

If you want to be "genuinely nice"...I think you should think of it like this. "Hey this lady chose me of all these people to talk to..." I would listen to what she has to say. When you feel like you've had enough, it's ok to excuse yourself and make up a little white lie that you're busy.

2007-11-16 22:27:31 · answer #9 · answered by yusun 3 · 0 0

Just be what you are. Show that you respect people for what they are. Give a little of yourself .
Never judge people for what they are......
Think that everybody deserves second chances in life....
Smile, it will make someones life better..
Say things that would impress others especially those who really need that kind of praise. ,

2007-11-16 22:21:37 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

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