Divorced people....how hard was it to do, and do you regret it?

Question

How did you feel aftterwards? I've been married 12 yrs, 2 children, and I'm terrified to do it. Too many issues to name, but the bottom line is he's selfish (with his time AND money), and just takes advantage of me, then acts like he pays for everything when I work too. He sets a bad example for the kids in MANY ways including disrespecting me (and them). So, tell me, were you relieved when u walked out??? Were the kids okay with it?

Answer 1

it was hard to do. But this kind of issue should never be easy to just walk away from. I did it after years of marriage an kids being grown. But issues outweigh the facts at hand , right?

Answer 2

I was relieved when i walked out. My son was 17 and daughter was 20 and married. Son stayed with his dad to finish high school, he was a senior. That was in 2002 I'm not gonna lie to you and say they were ok with it ... they were hurt very bad. We never stopped being family or loving one another, its just that it took a very long time and we had many things to work thru. If we hadn't had a strong bond before i don't think things would be ok today. Even now at times things still come up, so we talk about it. They know they can say anything to me, I never sugar coated anything for them when they were small and we don't do that now. The main thing is love and open communication.

Answer 3

I was married to an abusive husband for ten yrs and had two kids.I couldn't take it any longer and i asked our father for strength and that night on 1999 i walked out and no i don't regret it and the kids were ok,but had a hard time with it of course.Now i am married to a great guy and he loves the kids and works very hard to support us and keep us stable.It took my daughter longer as she was 7 when i left.But we are great now,and have been for 8yrs now.

Answer 4

I think this thread is sad. I bet that most of the people that posted a reply didn't make the effort to change them selfs or their mates didn't make the effort. If things were good in the beginning, and are bad now, it changed, so I believe it can change back if people are willing. Now, go ahead and kill me for this post, but I am getting divorced at the moment and it hurts like hell that the other person is not willing to make the change. 16 yrs down the tubes and all because divorce is the easy solution and looking at yourself in the mirror and adjusting to who I loved is hard. Sad sad sad.

Answer 5

My divorce was the most hideous thing I've ever lived through. I'm certain that I would have been less devastated by a terminal medical diagnosis. I wanted to die. I hated and loved my wife. I hated the guy she cheated with. I hated my brother she cheated with. I hated myself. I couldn't deal with humans. So, I went to the Canadian wilderness, and lived in total isolation for 4 months. Only saw humans twice, and only to get supplies. I expected to die there. But, I couldn't allow myself to die, because of my children. The only reason I survived is my children. Yes, our divorce screwed up their minds. But, today they are OK. As bad as my divorce was, I'm glad it happened. I have a new and better life now.

Answer 6

Divorcing my ex husband was the smartest thing I ever did. I filed and 60 days later it was final. As for the regrets...if I knew then what I know now, I sure would of divorced his *** a long time ago.
My kids were very supportive of my decision to divorce him. One time they overheard him bad mouthing me to someone. They stepped right in and told him if it wasn't for me, they'd be homeless and hungry so why doesn't he go and tell that?
That's my babies! I am so proud of them.

Answer 7

Making the decision is the hard part....Taking action was the easy part. I put in 20 years before I was able to make the decision. Only regret was I didnt do it sooner.
I felt a weight lifted. (even tho I had children and knew he would not live up to financial support) I felt empowered to undertake anything that came along. That told me I had made the right decision......FINALLY!
I wish you the very best in becoming whole! :)

Answer 8

hi it took me 22 years to get to the point where i couldnt take any more annd like you i was used by that git and hurt in many different ways the kids knew what i was going to do and 2 years ago this december is the second anniversary of my departure and it has been hard but i know what ever happens in my life it is down to me what to do ,as regards they found it difficult to begin with as they thought that i wanted them to choose between there dad and me but once that one got aired they where fine ,there is only one thing that i regret and that is that i did not do it sooner ,and i have fuul control of my life and believe it or not life is so much better oh dont get me wrong it is hard at times as regards to money but to have this load of my shoulders is worth all the gold in the world ,if you decide to leave this marriage go and get as much advice to what youre intitled to and where you stand with all things legal and once youre ready then do it ,.......get youre life the way you want it to be and dont settle for anything less ,we only get one shot at this life so live everyday as youre last and you will have a great time .......i wish you luck with youre life and i hope you find what youre looking for ......peace,and freedom ......take care xx

Answer 9

Speaking from experience...23 yrs married..2 kids....
The decision took me 3.5 years to make....
I was afraid to hurt my children.....but when I finally decided ...it was a relief...Both my kids asked..."why did you wait so long mom?"......
which does not mean the divorce was easy by any means...it was hard...But oh so worth it....for me, my ex and my children.
Kids are really resilient....they are happy when the parent(s) are happy. JUst love em through it !!!!
Good Luck

Answer 10

I did this .It wasn't easy but after all the lack of love on his part once I had made up my mind it was easy . Life is too short to be unhappy . Other ppl come into our lives and God shows us this very clearly .. We are here to love not wishing death upon someone Else ...I know it sounds that bad but it had became that bad ... Deep down I just wanted out of all the abuse and anger and now I'm not angry anymore ...just done.....It changes you ..material things are no longer whats important in ones life .Only love and happiness... and thats not easy to find....