Out of the mouths of trolls...?

Question

A troll posted, "Feminism is merely group nagging."

Now, of course, this plays into stereotypes about women. However, as women who acknowledge that they do sometimes nag will sometimes point out, women nag because men don't listen and take action the first time they ask.

To what extent have the methods of feminism been like nagging? Have women's rights been gained, in large part, by wearing men down?

And if we accept that metaphor, does it also suggest more constructive approaches? What might those be?

And in relationships, does nagging work for some things and not for others? And could this connect with ways that feminism has made great strides and areas in which it hasn't?

Also, could the need for feminists to "nag" be part of why many women who appreciate the freedoms reject the label?

No one likes a nag, but without nagging, a lot of people would live with dirty socks everywhere...

Answer 1

our founding fathers went to war to establish their right to Independence. nagging has a lower mortality rate.

Answer 2

I think there is a difference between nagging and being persistent. Success with the type of nagging you describe is about negative reinforcement. The naggee finally picks the dirty socks off the floor because it stops the nagging. Doing it is less aversive than continuing to be nagged at. While members of the women's movement can sometimes seem shrill, the issues they are being persistent about have much higher stakes than dirty socks. Therefore, they must marshall coherent arguements which must persuade a change in thinking not just a change in behaviour. I've never had an experience in which being nagged altered my world view. Nobody is going to "wear me down" over positions which have importance and meaning for me. So I cannot accept the metaphor.

Answer 3

Nagging is a sort of very effective aversion therapy ("pick up those dirty socks" etc.) and it's not just a feminist trait, most women do it extemely well, it's inborn. My dear wife did her share of petty nagging and much of it did fall on deaf ears but, looking back, she did sometimes nag about more important things and I wish I had listened to here more closely on those occasions..

As most of you here know I am an equalist and therefore strongly opposed to the feminism cult. However, on this occasion, I have to find feminists per se not guilty.

Answer 4

As a non-feminist I couldn't say if most feminists do nag or not, but many women do have the tendency of lipping quite a bit, which can be so bothersome... this coming from someone who has endured an excessive amount of nagging from most of my sisters and friends.
Sometimes women nag because they have an objective in mind, and in that episodic, infantile state, they will pout or go on and on until they have their way. Other times, women nag for legitimate need of attention, sex, communication, receptiveness, assistance of some kind, etc.

It's sometimes confusing to sort through them appropriately, even for me as a woman, but eventually one learns to, and is then able to choose which ones to assertively put an end to, which to take into consideration and which are coming from the heart (hypothetically speaking) as an expression of something deeper.

Answer 5

Two things.
1. Not all women nag. Many think that this is a waste of time, and this is an activity that pays you no money, salary,wages, satisfaction etc.
2. A benefit may come from nagging, or not nagging is a possibility of hiring a housecleaner one day a week can get negotiated as a result.

Answer 6

What I believe is that there are better ways to achieve one's objective without nagging. Nagging usually falls upon deaf ears or gets the occasional "huh uh" and that's about it.**Women don't need to be feminists in order to nag.**A constructive approach may be: "Would you please do .....I really appreciate it if you would get to it as soon as you can, thank you in advance for doing ........ "Let's say some time has passed and it still isn't done. "Oh I was so hoping that you would have got to it by now. How can I help you so that we can get this done?" This is what usually works for me.

Answer 7

I have found that people go deaf with constant nagging. I know, I do.

A question or point of view should be expressed and then time should pass for the recipient to ponder over it. There should be no rushing or pushing.

This is my opinion. I believe a constructive outcome would happen.

Answer 8

Anyone can be a nag....................lol.
Me personally,I don't like to ask for my husband to do something twice.If he doesn't do it,I'll do it or I would ask someone else to help me get it done.At times,he would tell me "HONEY, I WAS GONNA DO IT"! and I would say to him
"WELL YOU NEVER GOT IT DONE, SO IT"S DONE NOW".
When that happen,he feels bad about it and that is why he always try to get things done.

Nagging gives me headaches.I got 4 kids who at time does it and they know when they nagged,I would ignore them.
As for getting them to pick up their dirty socks off the floor,I only have to say it once;cause if I come back in the room and those socks are still on the floor,they know that they will lose a point or two.

*That's what works for me and my family.

Answer 9

You've asked too many questions all at once. (Almost like you're nagging . . .)

I suggest you cut it down to 2 or 3 that are inter-related, or dependent on one another; then post a separate question with another 2 or 3 that are dependent on each other.

As for another way to get men to listen - if you ever find the way to do that, bottle it & sell it. You'll get rich!

Answer 10

By that logic, all forms of protest and grassroots activism would be considered nagging. That sort of metaphor will only succeed in making us seem like PO'd women, not women who had something important to say.