Again: dating a professor, please help!?

Question

I have asked this question before but many people got me wrong, so please read carefully and tell me what to do:

I like this guy very much, he was once a guest professor in one of my classes and was so sweet.
But he is NOT my professor, so this has nothing to do with grades.
He's under 30, doing his PhD and I'm 24 and a serious graduate student, so there's really no age difference. He's younger than many of my classmates!
He's not married and he has said that to me himself in a departmental gathering.

This is not a schoolgirl crush, we're both adults and Im looking for a serious relationship, because he's smart and sweet and our major is the same.
Just want some advice on how it might look since we're in the same department and tips on approaching him in a way that doesn't make him uncomfortable.

He's not completely done with his PhD at another university and is an assistant prof. in our university.

Answer 1

What are you waiting for then???

Seems one sided from what you have written but I may be wrong. Starting the communication process would be easy as you know him already and vice-versa. See and explore then if there are commonalities of interests and attitudes between you two.

I know the taboo of what you might be scared of breaking... but if it is serious then go for it...

bon voyage...

Answer 2

He's working on his PhD and <30; you're a graduate student and <30.

He doesn't teach any classes you take or have any superior position to you in the department.

If he's working on his PhD and <30 it's very unlikely that he's "a professor" -- instructor, teaching assistant, even lecturer but not "a professor".

Whether there is an ethical issue here depends upon his status in the department. You must clarify whether he is a student or faculty - he can't be both. If he is a student (working on his PhD) with some teaching responsibilities (that don't include your classes) then he's a student, just like you. No issue.

If he's a faculty member then you may have an issue with rules of the college and will certainly have a few raised eyebrows among his peers.

Clarify his status because your post here isn't clear on that.

Answer 3

It's a sticky problem, but it happens. Some jobs forbid it because they have had very bad experiences with work related relationships. You just have to be very discrete. If he is interested, you might ask if he has a copy of the ethics policy at your university.

Other jobs allow it, assuming the people involved can act reasonably at work and in public. At my university, one of the professors and the chair of the department started seeing each other. Another set of professors in our department were hired already married. Many people have come to recognize that we often make the best matches at work. That's because we spend the most waking time there, and share common interests.

If he is not now, nor may not become one of your professors or advisers for your thesis, then you sound mature and sensible enough to handle the situation. Just be sure you are not expressly forbidden from this by contract. I hope you will enjoy a new relationship soon.

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong about your attraction for the Professor. Make sure he is not teaching any course, in which you are a student. Distance yourself from him for couple of days to put both of you in a neutral position. As he already told you that he is unmarried. I guess you can also approach to him about your interest. If you can not do it by yourself, take help from your close friends. As you said you are looking for long term relationship, that is your strong committment. So no worry, just make sure you are taking time and consider the relationship seriously (obviously after you hear from him!). All the best.

Answer 5

distinctive colleges have distinctive rules, yet by ability of and vast that's not a large deal. I fairly have considered a number of of professors flirt with and/or date scholars right here in California. you're the two consenting adults, and while you at the instant are not any greater of their training than all the greater reason you're able to be allowed to this factor for the reason that there's no conflict of pastime. My desirable advice could be to bypass forward and date, yet don't be flashy or loud approximately it on an identical time as you nevertheless attend that college. i'm not announcing shop it a secret, yet do exactly not make it a source of gossip or scandal and no one will care or observe. the college will merely project themselves with that form of a private element no remember if that's something interfering on campus or reason for complaint by ability of others. I see not something incorrect with what you're doing, and that's by ability of no ability unlawful. it would desire to be against college coverage, yet i myself doubt it. good success!

Answer 6

Here's my opinion since its no really a age different you can approach to him as someone would to a person that isnt a teacher, if that doesnt work out, you convince him to view you as someone other than a student in the department

Answer 7

I feel you are not"crush type woman"of course.But I think,your career will be first priolity.We have to find good way.

I once had a relationship with who was "Professer"and "writing Doctor thesis"and "under30".I can Imagine and sigh,"what a hard way"
Student-Professer.
as my example,he was my friend when I was Student,I was not in school then.
he said "I don't fell in love with Student"(not for me,for his career).So,I think you are in very difficult stiuation.

I dont know his type,and I am Japanese,not good at love and shy kind.If he like a female who can walk to both perpose,You are lucky.Chase your way same as before,and talk to him as you are,build human-human relation.if this turn to be friends,this will be lifelong.

But if he like glamor type woman...
I don't know.

Sorry for my English is no-good.

Answer 8

From an ethics stand point, not good. Even though, you have good intentions, the perception would not be the way you would want it. It could be a career killer.

Answer 9

listen to your heart's sound !!
if you think you are propriate for yours , don't wait.
be brave and go on !
if you don't do that it might that someone else do that !
I Hope You succeed
Sencerely
Good Luck