married men?

Question

my husband and i have been married for almost 10 yrs.we separated for a while . 3 yrs ago we got back together.it was great falling in love all over again ,latley he has been very distant and harsh toward me and im not sure how to take this.we have been in a rut latley and struggling financialy.what can i do to lift his spirits and encourage him?i cant stand seeing him so down and discontent

Answer 1

Its great the you have both managed to find the way back together again. However, it could be the burden of the financial responsibilities that could be making him take out his frustrations on you. I also went thro such a ruff patch wt my husband. But I confronted him as I tot it was unfair tt he was taking his frustrations out on the family. I told him tt we are a family unit and we stick together thro thick & thin. Pls don't push us away, we can face this problem together. It took some arguments and crying sessions (on my part) for this message to really sink in. But we held up thro the storm and worked out his problems. So, hang in there, girl!

Answer 2

I'm not sure but it's great that you want to lift his spirts instead of crushing him for the financial difficulty. It's too bad he's harsh and distant, he should appreciate a woman that can't stand him being sad.

Answer 3

re: t was great falling in love all over again
..........In my opinion that is an experience that you need to learn how to recreate again and again with a little relationship training.

latley he has been very distant and harsh toward me and im not sure how to take this.
........I'm not sure WHY you 'take' it instead of protesting when it happens!
You (or both of you) should get busy learning all you can about HOW TO make a good relationship
start here:

http://www.google.com/search?q=relationships&sourceid=navclient-ff&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGGL,GGGL:2006-40,GGGL:en

Answer 4

Clean your house.........a clean house always makes down time seem alittle better.

cinniaman apple candle (cheap 99 cents at wallmart
smells make a diff.

put a little downy or something in your pillow cases........
make bedroom pleasant haven during this time.
SMILE as much as you can...........SAY less..........

my man..........(when i try to talk more to help.........it makes him mad then i think well forget you........i was only tring to help...........later he said he just needed quiet............
instead of taking it personal (like i always do).....ijust read some great books from half prices book store.......like women
.........."SOMETHING MORE...........etc.........
or if you are not into books........have your space......play music................put some of your "good times pics around the house...........
on the weekend wake him up with the smell of breakfast in bed??...........what ever you know he will think WOW
"i need to count my blessings"!
There is a famous race driver that said if they go into a spin and head for the wall....and LOOK at the WALL they will HIT the WALL............but if they look where they want to go "which is away from the wall".........they come out of the spin or at least have agreater chance.
BUT if your look at the wall (problem)...............THAT is exaclty where you will go.............
WOW........
best of luck

Answer 5

You get inot the rut through your own actions, and thats the same way you get out. You both have to work at it day in and day out TOGETHER, or it doesn't work. Only he can pull himself out of this and put up some effort.