Living togeter or Marriage First???

Question

Okay I really need some advice.
Okay there is the guy name Steven.
I'm 18 years old(I just had my Birthday on Sept.18th), Steven is 17 years old and his birthday is on July 24th.
He and I have known each other for 3 years and we been going out Now here is the thing.
He and I are planing on living togeter when he turns 18 years old.
But I'm not sure if it is right or not? Like should we get married first and live togeter. Or should we live togeter and wait intill the right day we want to marry??? Please Help this is a Big Dession!

PS:The Age Consent is 18 years old in PA.

I'm sorry(i'm really tired)I ment"The Age of Majority".

Answer 1

PLEASE - LIVE together BEFORE you get married. I know you will hate this - but you are both still young. Your minds are still growing and you have not yet experienced what life is like on the "outside". Usually, people do the most changing between the age of 22 to 25. Usually by the time you are 25, you are settled into the way of life that you want to live. Meaning - by the time you are 25 you usually know what you want do to with your life - what you want to be, what your beliefs are, if you want to get married, have kids etc. When you are just finishing High School, you are just BEGINNING to learn about these kinds of things. Not to mention - you should ALWAYS take a "test drive" with anything that could possibly be a permanent thing. If you get married and THEN move in together - what if you find out that you are not really compatable? Sure.. you have KNOWN each other for 3 years, but do you know how they live? What if you are a neat freak and he is kind of a slob? Would you be able to tolerate that for the rest of your life? Does he put the toilet seat down for you? What kinds of "routines" do each of you do everyday? You have to know if the little quirks and pet peeves are tolerable enough for you to get past and live your lives happily. How do you want to raise your kids (if you even want kids?) What kind of profession are each of you going to get into - and how will that affect your lifestyle? My husband and I lived together for 12 years before we got married. We had two kids during that time, but getting married never felt QUITE right. When one of us wanted to get married, usually the other didn't. We FINALLY were ready 3 years ago - I was 34 he was 36. We had been together since I was 22 and he was 24. So.... my advice - the BEST advice I can give is to live together for at LEAST a year before you decide to get married. And DO NOT LISTEN to those that tell you "it's a mortal sin" - we are living in the 21st century and things are different now. Isn't it also a sin to get divorced? That could be an argument on behalf of living together. You should only get married when the TWO of YOU are ready. Not when someone else says you should. I hope that this has helped in some way. I moved in with my first boyfriend when I was 19 (he was 17). We had been together for 2 1/2 years already and I had spent several nights over his house - but actually LIVING with him for a year and a half - it made me see more clearly that he was NOT the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Good luck!

Answer 2

It sounds like it would be the other way around, but it usually is better to get married first. I can also assure you if either of you are going to any post secondary school, that you might want to wait until after your done with at least the first part of the program.

The problem with living together is that you have no reason whatsoever to commit to the person. A lot of people will say its just a piece of paper, but most of those people never get married and wouldn't know a long term relationship if it swallowed them whole. I know another few years seems like a long time, and I would never tell anyone to ignore their heart. You might want ot try just being engaged for a while, and just experience life a little. You can still do it together, which is how it should be either way. Just remember, if you two love eachother know, you can take on the world and grow together, and it will be that much better when you do make it forever in a few years.

Answer 3

Having done both in two seperate relationships, I don't easily recommend moving in together. First of all, it's COMPLETELY different from getting married. Second of all, the divorce rate for couples who cohabitate first is nearly twice that of couples who don't cohabitate first. Third of all, as my great-grandmother used to say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." With a cohabitation relationship, he's essentially getting a wife without all the messy committment that comes along with marriage. And finally... what happens if you two should accidentally have a child together?

At such a young age, both of you need to try living independently for a while. This means NOT living with parents, NOT living in a college dorm with roommates, and NOT living in an apartment with roommates. Live alone for a while before you can make the decision about cohabitation. You two will probably end up living together anyways, and I wish you both the best, but there's my two cents.

That being said, I am a firm believer that some people just aren't meant for marriage. My sister has been in a cohabitation relationship with no problems for five years now. Neither of them want marriage ever so it works out best to just live together. I am in my second cohabitation relationship (I didn't live with my ex-husband before we married) and I defend my decision adamently becuase it didn't come until we had been involved for a VERY long time and without a LOT of discussion about where this is going to go. He's already proposed to me several times, but I'm not ready for that committment since I was recently divorced. The only kind of committment I was ready for was cohabitation. So we gave ourselves a time limit. If I'm not ready for marriage in another year, we'll go our seperate ways.

Answer 4

Its really up to you. Relationships are a gamble either way. I have seen relationships fall apart when people have married first, and I have also seen them fall apart when people have lived together first.

If I were you I would wait to move in or get married, until you are older (say 25), because you will both be maturing and changing over the next few years, and there is no guarantee that you will grow in the same direction.

Answer 5

I have your answer. I am twice n years as you and wanted to hear this then but I say it now to you Kitty (btw great name, www.gourmetpetchef.blogspot.com) Slow down, take things slower. If Steven and you are meant to be you owe it to yourself, him and he to you to get to know about life and to get to know each other better. You must follow creed of your highest creator you believe in. If Our Lord, he says Marry, then live together. thats an order God gives us. Live with (female) roomates and get to know steven on terms of COMPLETE respect, if thats not there jump ship. you have so much to loose so play it right. Be sure a man respects you and honors you! I find that most men mature at 75 so I can only imagine you will be at the brunt end of pregnancy, emotional abuse, abandonment, victim to many many things that an innocent pure girl's soul trusts an man but he has his OWN goals in life and you are just a play thing, a toy he uses until he finds better. If he for some reason actually is capable of love and does love you, give it a year, and if he worships you, honors you, treats you like the queen you are, then marry him and live together. but not before, do nothing before. i hope this helps. If he ever makes you cry, even once, dump him. Honey, its too many men hurt women, so don't let it haoppen to you, TRUST in this - if its worth having, its worth making sure!

Answer 6

i believe that it should be marriage first before living together. Marriage is the commitment that binds a man and a woman to live together, and marriage is based on the love of two with each other. If he really does love you then he would be willing to commit himself to you for his entire life, and vice-versa. If you two live together without getting married first, then there is no commitment that would bind you. That is to say, when things get rough anyone of you can just leave and not worry about the other because there's no commitment made in the first place. Marriage on the other hand, is vowing to be together for a lifetime, whether it gets rough or not. Of course, if you're not yet ready to marry him then that means that you're really ready to commit yourself to him either, and just the same with him. And if the two of you are not yet ready to commit to each other then there is no reason to leave together at all.

Answer 7

i understand those that dated for the period of intense college, they have been given married while they have been sufficiently previous, and that they have performed super! i do no longer think of you're stupid considering you're youthful. in the journey that your courting is mature i'm questioning why you probably did no longer get married earlier residing jointly? information say that cohabitation will improve the probabilities of wreck up and divorce. do somewhat study approximately cohabitation on the cyber web and word of the subject concerns. there is so plenty greater to marriage than saving money jointly. undesirable human beings get married known and that they are happy. Marriage is a dedication to spend something of your existence with somebody.

Answer 8

I know you don't want to hear this, but getting married that young more times then 10 won't last.
It's ok to move in together, whats the rush on getting married, when the times right your know and you might do so.
Until that time, just live together and see how things go, who knows 3 years from now you might not feel the same about each other and your both be glad, that you didn't wed.

Answer 9

Married or not, the question is do you both actually know how to make a good, lasting relationship?
Do you know how to keep things alive and loving when boredom sets in; how to survive and repair misunderstandings and quarrels; how to work together and stay happy with each other (most of the time); how to deal with external pressures from family, etc.; how to stay in love when things get bad; how to get over the other's MISTAKES and a lot more.........

Answer 10

As a girl I'd advise you to grow older alone keep in touch don't limit yourself you are young.A gentleman who has everything with no commitment why would he commit? Hold back. No sex before marriage. Caution is not regreted Educate yourself have a career before marriage then if you want to be a wife marry before family. Check with a shrink before marriage to see that it'll work it'll save pain later. Better pre cana if youre Catholic or equivilant.God Bless.